Jim Halpert Quotes from The Office (page 29)

Salesman, prank enthusiast, permanent camera confidant.

6,816 quotes · page 29 of 69

1. Yeah, I'd say she's happy. I mean, she loves her classes. Loves the city. I mean, last night, she was out with her friends, till, like, 8:00 AM.

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2. What?

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3. I am going to see Pam. Because I feel like I should.

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4. No. you know what? No. Because... I'm not that guy. And we are not that couple.

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5. I just don't know if he's presidential enough.

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6. Cranford? No. We will never watch that.

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7. Ah, I'm sure they're all great.

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8. Let's start with the wildcard.

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9. Mmm-hmm.

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10. Uh-oh.

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11. I think I got a pretty good sense of that one.

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12. Yep.

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13. Let's move on to the next.

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14. Mmm-hmm.

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15. Oh, that's good.

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16. I like the wild card. I'm already liking the wild card.

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17. Mmm-hmm.

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18. Have you asked her what she wants to do?

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19. No. You got that backwards.

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20. Dave.

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21. You are? A cat?

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22. Oh, hang on one second. Jim Halpert.

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23. Hey New York, Happy Halloween!

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24. Oh, I'll walk you out.

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25. All right. We'll see. No.

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26. I am off to New York. My brother Pete from Boston, and my brother Tom from New Jersey are taking Pam and I out for lunch, to celebrate the engagement. Or maybe to beat me up. I can never tell with those two.

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27. Hey, how are you?

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28. Good to see you.

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29. All right so now we can sit... and get comfortable.

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30. That's not really true. There's a lot of things you can do with an art degree actually.

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31. Wow, that's- that's a little rude. What's your deal?

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32. Oh wow. This is my niece Vanessa. She's a trumpeter. And, look at her.

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33. That must be really fun for you and Marci huh?

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34. Love that one.

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35. Here you go again! What is your deal today?

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36. One.

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37. Half.

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38. Also good.

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39. Pete couldn't make the Mets. She's at Pratt. You played JV baseball. Will you lighten up a little bit?

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40. Pam, don't worry about it.

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41. Guys, what is going on?!

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42. Well, I'll be the judge of that. What do you got?

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43. That is good.

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44. Truthfully anything would have been better than that prank. Oh, text message from my brother. 'Pam cool. Welcome to the family.'

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45. Yeah, we'd never do that.

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46. You wouldn't tell your mom?

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47. Those reports affect our bonuses, which is kind of great for me, because you wouldn't know it from looking at her, but Pam's a gold-digger.

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48. Aww.

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49. Testing, testing. Hello, everybody.

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50. Nope.

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51. You must be really proud.

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52. Oh, sorry. It was just -- it was right here.

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53. OK. Or maybe I could finish the coffee that's in here and you could use uh, oh -- Snoopy.

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54. How can you even be sure?

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55. Make the face. Yeah, I don't see it.

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56. Wow. That was Dwight. He seems upset about something.

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57. It is... more of a spicy brown, actually.

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58. How was your meeting with Michael?

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59. Was it your scores?

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60. Mm-hmm.

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61. Of course.

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62. Absolutely. Or you could just be nice to your customers.

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63. There's the charm.

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64. That is me. Wish me luck.

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65. Thanks.

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66. I love you, too.

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67. I'm not talking to you.

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68. What?

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69. Did my scores drop a little?

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70. Are we even sure that's my file?

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71. Well, there's got to be an explanation.

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72. Yeah.

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73. I think you mean smug

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74. Michael, I'm just trying to --

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75. I need a decent bonus, because I'm actually in the process of buying my parents' house so that they can retire. And if history tells us anything, it's that you can't go wrong buying a house you can't afford. Pam doesn't know about the house, so it's... a fun surprise. Pam, sorry about that. I lost you for a second. So, as it turns out, I may not have done so hot on my customer reviews this year.

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76. A little bit. ... Worth it.

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77. Microgement.

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78. Hello?

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79. Wow, that's great, because I need paper.

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80. Wow, this is my lucky day.

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81. I am Bill Buttlicker.

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82. How dare you? My family built this country, by the way.

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83. Would you hold on one second? That's my other line.

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84. Hello? No, I'm just on the phone with this stupid salesman. He's so dumb. Probably just gonna keep him on the line forever and not buy anything. Yeah, OK.

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85. Sorry. That was a family emergency.

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86. You know what? That's private.

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87. Sorry, you're going to have to speak up a little bit louder. I'm hard of hearing.

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88. You're gonna have to talk louder.

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89. Son, you have to talk louder.

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90. Louder, son!

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91. Now, you listen to me, sir.

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92. The three words I would describe you as is aggressive, hostile and definitely difficult.

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93. I'm irate right now.

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94. Well, I should hope so. Who is this?

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95. Well, this is William M. Buttlicker.

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96. Michael, I like the sound of your voice. You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to buy one million dollars worth of paper products today.

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97. There is one condition, Michael.

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98. You have to fire the salesman that treated me so terribly.

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99. Dwight. Dwight.

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100. Are you serious?

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