Jim Halpert Quotes from The Office (page 27)

Salesman, prank enthusiast, permanent camera confidant.

6,816 quotes · page 27 of 69

1. Thanks.

   Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22160

2. I just-

   Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22162

3. No, I didn't. I just logged it in right here, so...

   Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22164

4. All right, well it already went through, so...

   Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22166

5. Hello?

   Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22168

6. That's not it.

   Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22170

7. Yeah.

   Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22172

8. Close.

   Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22174

9. Mmhmm.

   Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22176

10. What are the two levels?

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22178

11. Mmhmm.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22180

12. Okay. Let's start with the 'I love you' level.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22182

13. Yes. You don't love Holly.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22184

14. But you just met her.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22186

15. Oh, okay, it doesn't work like that.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22188

16. Actually, I think I am. And I have a little bit of experience in office romance.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22190

17. Yeah.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22192

18. We've been through this.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22194

19. Yes, we are still dating. And guess what? I took it slow.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22196

20. Well, we're really happy.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22198

21. And that's really sweet. And you can think that. But you don't say that out loud, and you definitely don't say it to her.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22200

22. I know. Here, Michael, you can court her as you get to know her, you know? I mean, the office is a great place for that. Pam and I, we got to know each other right out there. I mean, the first time we joked around was at my desk. And the first meal we ever had was, in the break room, actually. We were at two separate tables and, I remember that. The first time we kissed even, was right outside, and... Look, all I'm saying is that you can get to know someone really really well, like I did, right here at work.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22202

23. I was thinking... fireworks for the party. What do you think?

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22203

24. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I just meant I wanted to pay to have fireworks at the party.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22205

25. Because I'm gonna miss Toby. Yep, he's a heck of a guy, and I think we should send him off right. It doesn't matter. Here ya go.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22207

26. Well we all want a good party, right?

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22209

27. I'm going to propose tonight. Holy crap!

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22210

28. Hey, Ryan, it's Jim. Look man, I don't know what's gotten into you lately, but you know what? I really don't care, because you're trying to get rid of me. And I bet you don't think I care enough about this job to actually fight back, but you're wrong, because I do, and I will. So you can keep trying to push me out of this place, but guess what? I'm not going anywhere.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22220

29. What'd you do?

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22236

30. Wow. Okay, so how'd that feel?

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22238

31. Oh, I'm so glad you didn't.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22240

32. There you go. There's plenty of base-laying left, right?... Hey. Hey!

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22242

33. Would you do me a favor and connect me to Ryan?

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22316

34. Right to voicemail. Hey, Ryan, it's Jim. You know what? Totally disregard that last voicemail, because you obviously have your hands tied. Good luck!

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22318

35. Yeah, who'd have thought?

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22335

36. Classic.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22376

37. Not my favorite, but...

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22378

38. It's not my favorite...

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22380

39. Hey...

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22455

40. I know. That's awesome, man. That's great.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22468

41. Hi.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22514

42. He didn't mention me, did he?

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22518

43. Thanks, Toby.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22520

44. I've always gotten along well with Toby. Uh, we're friends. But I don't think we'll stay in touch necessarily. I think I'll probably get updates on him from Pam.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22522

45. Scared me. How's the party planning going?

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22535

46. So it's going great, sounds like.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22537

47. Hey.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22542

48. That's cool.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22547

49. Sure!

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22549

50. Good one? That's a cool camera.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22551

51. Okay, this is the second time in two days that the website isn't working. Do you guys know anything about it?

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22552

52. Do you honestly believe that?

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22554

53. I'm gonna get a second opinion.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22556

54. Okay, you could just say you don't know what's going on.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22558

55. Is Ryan gonna fire me? I don't know. I know that I've done everything I can, and I just brought in a huge sale, and... am I insane, or was this kid a temp two years ago? Because in the three years that he's been here, I think all he's ever done is start a fire and grow a beard. And it's not even a good beard.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22560

56. Hey, Troy, can you do me a huge favor? Next time you see Ryan, can you tell him to check his messages? That'd be great.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22570

57. Why wouldn't you see him? You work for him.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22572

58. Okay, what's going on?

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22574

59. Really, nothing?

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 22632

60. Ah, they moved the shower.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 22652

61. No, I didn't. You know why?

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 22654

62. Because most of the time, friends don't talk about other friends' butts.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 22656

63. But what have you learned about her?

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 22658

64. Nice.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 22660

65. Well, I tried.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 22662

66. I'll just go later.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 22664

67. So you have the directions.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 22680

68. You have a toothbrush.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 22682

69. You have a cell phone charger.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 22684

70. Come on, man. She goes to New York in like 10 minutes.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 22688

71. What happened?

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 22703

72. Call me when you get in.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 22709

73. Bye.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 22711

74. Why haven't I proposed yet? Uh, actually Pam and I talked about it. And we just decided that, um -- well, we didn't want to spend first three months of our engagement apart. And Pam's always said she doesn't want a long engagement. Something in her past, I guess. I'm not really sure of the whole story, but something about a guy who used to work here...

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 22714

75. I can't believe I'm saying this, but Michael is actually killing it with Holly. And I think I know why. It's because Holly is kind of a major dork.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 22722

76. I don't really know Ronnie. But I have a feeling I will get to know her very well over the next few years, and eventually declare my love for her.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 22726

77. When Michael told us that Jan was pregnant, he led us to believe that he was the father. By telling us that he was the father.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 22744

78. All right, I am connecting and ... you are not there. Did you install it right? How about this: Go to applications--

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 22768

79. All right!

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 22770

80. So what is going on, girl in the computer?

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 22772

81. Uh-huh.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 22774

82. That's not what that is.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 22808

83. I would like to lose 65 pounds.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 22814

84. Cryogenics. Beer me five.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 22818

85. All right, I'm taking off.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 22820

86. Nope, just going to see Pam.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 22822

87. Maybe put up some shelves.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 22824

88. OK, thank you for ... this.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 22826

89. No.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 22828

90. Hi.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 22836

91. Oh, that's so rude of me. Have you seen, um, Pam's new art? It's right there. Check it out.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 22838

92. Some girl came into Pam's room crying about her roommate stealing her soy milk. So I'm in here waiting it out.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 22841

93. Well that's great. You're talking about your court ordered community service?

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 22889

94. But he did, right?

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 22891

95. All right.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 22893

96. Nope.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 22907

97. Mmm.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 22909

98. How much weight have you lost, Dwight?

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 22912

99. No, you're definitely the problem.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 22914

100. Probably the weirdest thing about Pam being gone would be lunch... actually. But um, it will force me to become acquaintances with people I consider... coworkers.

     Season 5 · Episode 1 · Line 22935