Jim Halpert Quotes from The Office (page 28)

Salesman, prank enthusiast, permanent camera confidant.

6,816 quotes · page 28 of 69

1. Fair question.

   Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 22955

2. See, you're always saying there's something wrong with society, but... maybe there's something wrong with you.

   Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 22959

3. Summers going great. Just spent two hours listening to Michael Clump. I have a weird pain in my left side that I'm convinced is an ulcer. My girlfriend lives in New York and I haven't seen her in 10 days. How's your summer?

   Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 22999

4. So as it turns out, tonight is my nephews T-ball game and I kinda missed the first three, so...

   Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23012

5. I know. I suck.

   Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23014

6. Dwight says 'Hi.'

   Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23016

7. Now he is saying 'Hi' louder.

   Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23018

8. Umm...

   Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23020

9. Hey, can you go to IM?

   Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23022

10. OK.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23024

11. I'm gonna write you up for not working.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23030

12. [holds up an ASCII image of Dwight]

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23035

13. Hey, Michael. I just scheduled lunch with a client so I might be back a little late.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23055

14. Perfect.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23057

15. [Jim gets down on one knee]

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23078

16. I just... couldn't wait.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23080

17. Pam, will you marry me?

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23082

18. So?

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23084

19. Hey, sorry everybody.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23108

20. Hey Dwight.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23111

21. What's up, Meredith?

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23113

22. No, you're not.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23145

23. Yeah, well, if you're only free till three on Sunday and I can't get there till one, then it's gonna be pretty tight.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23149

24. Hey, can you not?

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23151

25. No, no, no, definitely, definitely. Yes. Next weekend, then. All right! I love you, too.

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23153

26. When Michael told us that Jan was pregnant, he led us all to believe that he was the father... by telling us he was the father. But then we got this e-mail from Jan. 'Hi, everyone! Jan here, writing to share some wonderful news and to quash a rumor. First, the great news - I am expecting. The beautiful baby inside me will be ready to meet the world this fall just a few months before the launch of the new Serenity by Jan line (shameless plug, I know, don't hate me, LOL). Anyway, I also wanted to clarify that the father is not anyone that you or I have ever met. Remember, no matter how excited someone is about my baby, it does not make them the father. Best, Jan. P.S. Hope to ship you something soon.'

    Season 5 · Episode 1 · Quote 23167

27. Alright. I'll tell everybody here that you say hi.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23184

28. Why, what happened?

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23186

29. Ah. That... they might be off the hook for because I... didn't tell them.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23188

30. I just didn't, you know, want a deal.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23190

31. OK. You know what? Here we go. Uh, everybody? I just want to make an announcement. Pam and I are engaged.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23192

32. Nope.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23195

33. Thank you Angela.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23197

34. Yes.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23199

35. To get married.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23201

36. Yep.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23208

37. Nice.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23219

38. Dwight, you've really never stolen any company time?

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23266

39. Jackpot.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23278

40. Yawn. Four seconds.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23299

41. Oh you had said that you don't do anything personal during work time so... I'm just making sure.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23301

42. Personal conversation. Seventeen seconds.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23303

43. One second.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23305

44. Hey, Andy.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23327

45. By any chance, did you see Battlestar Galactica last night?

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23329

46. Actually not. It was really so-so.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23331

47. I mean I like all the crazy monsters and stuff. You know, like klingons and wookies and all that but... Sorry, was there something you wanted to add, Dwight?

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23333

48. You know, it's weird. It's practically a shot for shot remake.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23335

49. Story's kinda bland. It's about this guy named Dumbledore Calrissian who needs to return the ring back to Mordor.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23337

50. He has not stopped working for a second. At 12:45 he sneezed while keeping his eyes open, which I always thought was impossible. At 1:32 he peed, and I know that because he did it in an open soda bottle under the desk while filling out expense reports. And on the flip side, I have been so busy watching him that I haven't even started work. It's exhausting, being this vigilant. I'll probably have to go home early today.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23348

51. 19 minutes and 48 seconds. What were we doing for 19 minutes and 48 seconds?

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23358

52. So I guess I can assume that was personal.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23360

53. So maybe you're not completely ethical after all.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23362

54. Oh, but you mean other than embezzling?

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23410

55. Fraud.

    Season 5 · Episode 2 · Quote 23412

56. Jan is about to have a baby with a sperm donor. And Michael is preparing for the birth of a watermelon with Dwight. Now, this baby will be related to Michael through delusion.

    Season 5 · Episode 3 · Quote 23454

57. Right, the one from England.

    Season 5 · Episode 3 · Quote 23521

58. Oh. Right, that style.

    Season 5 · Episode 3 · Quote 23523

59. OK...

    Season 5 · Episode 3 · Quote 23525

60. Wait, who's Sarah Kayacombsen?

    Season 5 · Episode 3 · Quote 23527

61. OK.

    Season 5 · Episode 3 · Quote 23529

62. No... way!

    Season 5 · Episode 3 · Quote 23531

63. Ha ha. That's hilarious?

    Season 5 · Episode 3 · Quote 23533

64. Who, Stacy?

    Season 5 · Episode 3 · Quote 23535

65. Uh...

    Season 5 · Episode 3 · Quote 23537

66. OK, I'll ta...I'll talk to you later. That was a good story.

    Season 5 · Episode 3 · Quote 23539

67. Jan.

    Season 5 · Episode 3 · Quote 23559

68. What do we have here?

    Season 5 · Episode 3 · Quote 23561

69. Really...

    Season 5 · Episode 3 · Quote 23563

70. Hey! You busy?

    Season 5 · Episode 3 · Quote 23609

71. OK, OK, so you gotta hear this. So, Jan's shower is going on right now, and she's singing 'Son of a Preacher Man' and everyone's just staring at her.

    Season 5 · Episode 3 · Quote 23611

72. The song is about losing your virginity next to a church, and guess what - she's been singing for the last twenty minutes!

    Season 5 · Episode 3 · Quote 23613

73. Oh. OK, well you know what, I um, just call me later.

    Season 5 · Episode 3 · Quote 23615

74. Hey, it's Jim. Leave a message.

    Season 5 · Episode 3 · Quote 23700

75. Hey, it's me. It is 5:03.

    Season 5 · Episode 3 · Quote 23703

76. You must be out or something.

    Season 5 · Episode 3 · Quote 23705

77. Is it me, or are we just a little off today?

    Season 5 · Episode 3 · Quote 23707

78. Hope you didn't have any major laundry issues.

    Season 5 · Episode 3 · Quote 23709

79. Remember that time that I helped you do your laundry and that crazy guy came in and started yelling at you?

    Season 5 · Episode 3 · Quote 23711

80. Yet here you are, back in a Laundromat. Now, I'm just trying to help you, Beesly. Be safe.

    Season 5 · Episode 3 · Quote 23713

81. Wish you were home. Uh, anyway...

    Season 5 · Episode 3 · Quote 23715

82. I miss you.

    Season 5 · Episode 3 · Quote 23717

83. Oh yeah. Wait 'til you get to know her better though.

    Season 5 · Episode 3 · Quote 23730

84. We were robbed last night.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23846

85. So apparently Pam went out last night, and accidentally called my work phone at 3:00 in the morning.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23858

86. I'm on minute six of this message.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23860

87. The future mother of my children.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23864

88. Do you need us for any of this?

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23892

89. 5 dollars.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23915

90. I can see that.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23920

91. Another round, boys? Great.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23922

92. Hey man.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23925

93. Oh, I wouldn't-[clears throat]

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23927

94. I'm good. How you doing?

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23929

95. Yeah, okay.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23931

96. Oh, she's good actually.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23966

97. She's, um, she's in New York. She's at an art school.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23968

98. Yeah, she's doing really well.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23970

99. She's engaged, um... to me.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23972

100. Oh, thanks man. Appreciate that.

     Season 5 · Episode 4 · Quote 23974