Jim Halpert Quotes from The Office (page 25)

Salesman, prank enthusiast, permanent camera confidant.

6,816 quotes · page 25 of 69

1. What the hell?

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2. Check this out though, spin serve. Well, it works like 80% of the time, so...

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3. I think I'm ready.

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4. ...Right. Spin-serve!

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5. Do you want to go play on the table upstairs?

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6. So, where did you learn how to play?

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7. My friend's basement. All right, ready to start?

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8. What are you doing?

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9. Right. There, first...

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10. I think that's the question that you had...

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11. Wow.

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12. All right.

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13. What are you guys doing?

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14. Oh yeah, how long's this meeting going to last?

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15. Good eye - it's an oval. You're measuring the table.

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16. Do you?

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17. Yup.

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18. Now, wait a minute. You're not gonna punch a wall, or me, or anything like that if you don't win the point, are you?

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19. Nope I don't, remember when you told us not to make plans 'cause we're working.

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20. I think you did.

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21. Oh, I-

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22. Michael has asked Pam and me to dinner at least 9 times. And every time we've been able to get out of it. But I've got to give him credit, he got me. Because I'm starting to suspect that there was no assignment from corporate.

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23. Hi.

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24. Let's see, since I saw you an hour ago?

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25. I have been getting ready and then driving over here.

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26. Really?

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27. Tour, let's do the tour first.

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28. Oh, you guys doing a little construction?

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29. It's fire.

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30. Just like that.

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31. Really? 'cause... seems pretty narrow... and short.

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32. Wow.

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33. What is that chestnut?

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34. Michael, I'm just terrible at all this stuff, so that's really cool.

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35. Well, I saw - oh your Dundies. I'm surprised they're not out on the coffee table for everybody to see.

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36. What was that?

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37. Michael and Jan seem to be playing their own separate game and it's called 'Let's see how uncomfortable we can make our guests' and they're both winning. So I'm going to make a run for it.

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38. You'll never guess, I just got a message from my landlord apparently, my apartment flooded, something with a sprinkler. Pam, we should probably get going and see the damage.

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39. That's true. Um... dinner sounded delicious. Pam I'll see you at home, thank you so much.

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40. I don't know because I everything I own is there.

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41. Katie Holmes.

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42. Oh, Dawson's Creek.

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43. Not really a rhyme.

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44. Tom Cruise!

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45. Oh no she just put it in front of my face.

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46. I'm sorry, are you really trying to get us to invest in Jan's company?

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47. So... how do you guys know each other?

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48. Would you write down your e-mail because I have just so many questions...

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49. Nevermind.

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50. That's nice.

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51. It's getting late.

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52. Of course

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53. Oh... my apartment's on fire

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54. Flooded.

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55. You know, babe, I should have told you but... I did something bad.

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56. I stole this. For you babe.

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57. We should probably get back.

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58. I didn't have anything, Jan.

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59. I'm sorry. She scares me.

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60. What's that?

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61. So we had to park at a satellite parking lot over there.

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62. Oh today, we saw a junk yard dog attacking the bones of a rotisserie chicken.

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63. Oh, you don't know her.

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64. Your mom.

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65. Michael, you didn't even know her.

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66. Margaret?

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67. You just got yourself kicked out of your apartment.

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68. Oh really? Who's gonna take you in? You're messy. You're a klutz, you spill everything. And you leave the volume on the TV way too loud.

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69. OK, sure. Let's do it.

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70. Have I not proposed to you, yet?

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71. Oh, well, that's coming.

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72. No. Not gonna do it right here, that would be rather lame.

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73. Pam, I'm not gonna tell you. Hate to break it to you, but that's not how that works.

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74. Wait, I'm serious. It's happening.

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75. And when it happens, it's going to kick your ass, Beesly. So... stay sharp.

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76. I am not kidding. Got it a week after we started dating.

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77. Nice.

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78. Where do you want to go for dinner?

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79. Hey Pam, will you wait for me one second while I tie my shoe?

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80. What? My shoe is untied. What is your problem? Oh my God, you thought I wa--- oh.

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81. No, no, no.

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82. I actually know a sex model.

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83. Yep. Yeah. She's blind, is that a problem?

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84. Okay.

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85. Yes.

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86. Oh, yeah.

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87. How'd you get gum in your hair?

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88. But best case scenario, you thought it was a quarter.

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89. Nope. Not for you it's for your hair, and it is 9 am.

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90. Hey man, you mind if I run something by you?

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91. Well, I kinda feel like what we have going for us is our customer service, and no matter how we change this up, I don't know that a website's going to be able to replace that.

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92. Thanks.

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93. Did I? I don't...

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94. Hmm.

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95. Yeah, I actually have to agree with Dwight on that one.

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96. And then an older gentleman asked you 'Boxers or briefs?'

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97. What?

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98. I'm gonna go to my desk.

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99. I know.

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100. I can't.

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