Jim Halpert Quotes from The Office (page 24)

Salesman, prank enthusiast, permanent camera confidant.

6,816 quotes · page 24 of 69

1. Oh no, I didn't want to see you. Not that I'm not happy seeing you, right now, I'm just saying ultimately I was here for the copier. Equal, I'd say it was equal. So, good to see you...

   Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19817

2. I mean, it's just that- You know, Pam and I are still dating, so, and, I just mean that things are going really well, so I didn't want to see... you...

   Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19819

3. Alright, you are welcome. I'm going to go because of, um, traffic.

   Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19821

4. I... will...

   Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19823

5. Hey.

   Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19831

6. Are you inviting me to the Finer Things Club?

   Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19833

7. Angela's Ashes, top o' the morning to us. Frankie's prose is funnier than a pot of gold, say I.

   Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19836

8. Yep. No, I mean I really liked it. I thought was uh, a fun read.

   Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19838

9. Mm-hmm.

   Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19840

10. Yeah.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19842

11. No, that wasn't fun.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19844

12. Of course I read it.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19846

13. Angela. Nope. The ashes.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19849

14. Well, you're driving, right?

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19865

15. Mmm... I'd prefer to sit in back.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19867

16. Nnnno. Uh, turns out, it was just a really bad idea involving fire. But I think I fixed it.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19874

17. I have to. Pam, if I'm not there, someone's going to go to jail. Or die.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19876

18. Well, I promise you that has nothing to do with it.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19878

19. Well, yeah I don't want to see her get physically harmed, that's for sure.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19880

20. All right, I'm gonna go now.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19882

21. Okay, I will.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19884

22. You embarrassed me.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19891

23. Got it.

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19910

24. Absolutely, yes.

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19912

25. When Michael plays the hypothetical game, I always say yes.

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19913

26. Yeah?

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19915

27. And I am always busy.

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19917

28. Oh, can't go today, 'cause I'm donating blood.

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19918

29. Is there a limit?

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19920

30. Well, is that it? Or?

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19922

31. How so?

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19924

32. What's that?

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19926

33. Right.

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19928

34. Not gonna change.

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19930

35. I thought we had that looked at.

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19932

36. Hmm, no, the choice is actually yours. Are you sure you want to do this?

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19948

37. OK, great.

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19950

38. Yup.

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19952

39. That'd be great.

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19954

40. Oh, wasn't it just someone's birthday?

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19972

41. I do remember, yeah.

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19974

42. You know what, I have an idea. Why don't we just do one big shared party?

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19976

43. There are thirteen people working in this office, so thirteen times a year Michael gets a cake and balloons, and some sort of joke gift and makes a toast. There are two types of toasts. One is a joke about how old you are.

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19978

44. And the other is something inappropriate. Or horrible. Or both. What else? He only sings the high harmony to 'Happy Birthday.' And he's a very big believer in surprise parties. Maybe even, arguably, possibly to a fault.

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19980

45. So... I think, yeah, I think getting these out of the way might be productive.

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19987

46. We can just have one big fun party. Everybody's happy, nobody wastes their time.

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19988

47. It's a pretty good idea, don't you think?

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19991

48. No... I think it's a great idea.

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 19993

49. You know, try sending them another invoice.

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20000

50. Alright. Oh, did you see my memo by the way?

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20002

51. Right? I was just thinking...

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20004

52. Right! Exactly. Knew I could count on you.

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20006

53. What's that?

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20018

54. Oh, sure.

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20020

55. OK.

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20022

56. Yeah, people like me I guess.

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20024

57. Well I think Meredith was just --

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20027

58. Everybody's birthday.

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20029

59. What do you want?

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20031

60. You want a birthday pie?

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20033

61. Well, I'm gonna to talk to Angela and we're gonna see what we can do about a pie.

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20035

62. It will be Angela.

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20037

63. Andy.

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20046

64. Not your birthday.

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20048

65. Alright, I'll look into it, but the answer's no.

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20050

66. Hey, Andy, I have some calls to make.

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20052

67. Alright.

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20054

68. OK, I'm gonna go into this office here to do some work. So I will be in here.

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20056

69. Hey guys, what're we talking about?

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20072

70. Toby.

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20077

71. Oh, thanks man.

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20079

72. Is there anything --

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20081

73. Oh, OK.

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20083

74. What?

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20085

75. I remember that.

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20087

76. Seriously?

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20089

77. Toby's great. He's great, but sometimes he can be a little bit much. I don't see the harm in that. Well, it's a cake Toby, so, c'mon.

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20091

78. OK. Yeah, you know what, we're just gonna throw you in. Because more the merrier, right?

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20092

79. That's a bummer. OK, then we need to...Hey everybody. Hi, how you doing? Can I have your attention please? 'Cause we have to talk about this birthday thing.

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20095

80. Yes, conference room in five minutes... No. No. We're gonna solve it right here. We're actually gonna talk about it out here. So, who has problems with the birthday thing? One, two, three, everybody. OK, so then we just shouldn't do it.

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20097

81. Yup, Phyllis called me Michael. And I will always and forever be haunted by that fact.

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20102

82. Hey.

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20109

83. Sure glad you're back.

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20111

84. You have no idea.

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20113

85. Well, I tried to put all the birthdays together at once.

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20115

86. So, terrible idea.

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20117

87. You did do it?

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20119

88. Well, I don't think I'll be here in ten years.

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20121

89. That's what who said?

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20123

90. That's what she said.

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20125

91. How much time do I have?

    Season 4 · Episode 7 · Quote 20150

92. All right, let's run it back.

    Season 4 · Episode 8 · Quote 20222

93. Sure.

    Season 4 · Episode 8 · Quote 20231

94. Wow.

    Season 4 · Episode 8 · Quote 20232

95. Oh, I can't beat Darryl.

    Season 4 · Episode 8 · Quote 20234

96. What, seriously? What is she saying?

    Season 4 · Episode 8 · Quote 20236

97. So you're asking me to defend your honor against Kelly?

    Season 4 · Episode 8 · Quote 20240

98. Bring me players.

    Season 4 · Episode 8 · Quote 20242

99. Good game Meredith.

    Season 4 · Episode 8 · Quote 20314

100. Dwight! Thank God you're here. As it turns out, one of our biggest clients is a ping pong master, and I have to play him tomorrow, or we lose the account. Can you help me out? Will you help me practice?

     Season 4 · Episode 8 · Quote 20317