Jim Halpert Quotes from The Office (page 23)

Salesman, prank enthusiast, permanent camera confidant.

6,816 quotes · page 23 of 69

1. Nope.

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2. I think it's great that the company's making a commercial because not very many people have heard of us. I mean, when I tell people that I work at Dunder Mifflin, they think that we sell mufflers, or muffins, or mittens, or... And frankly all of those sound better than paper, so I let it slide.

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3. You playing that game again?

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4. Oh it has losers.

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5. Who are you talking to, specifically?

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6. Hey.

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7. Why don't we take a quick ten second break from that so I can show you what's going on here. Okay, this is Dwight's Second Life. He's on it all the time. So much so that his little guy here has created his own world. It's called Second Second Life, for those people who want to be removed even further from reality.

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8. Yeah.

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9. [sighs]

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10. Oh, it's just my avatar guy. Whatever.

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11. Not much, it's just for tracking Dwight so---

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12. Yep.

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13. I... why don't we go back to this animation.

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14. Ah, show me how this works.

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15. I hope you're not killing yourself on this, because I'm sure it's good enough for Michael's ad that will probably be seen by no one.

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16. Okay. Do you want me to stay?

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17. Pam is staying late tonight to uh, achieve her dreams. So I'm pretty proud of her, unfortunately she was my ride home.

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18. I, ah...

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19. Good morning. Yeah I'm sorry, I looked away for a second and Creed snatched your hash browns.

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20. You're welcome.

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21. Hey, could you do me a favor? Could you put that in the DVD player?

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22. Hey everybody! Just want to welcome you all to the premiere of the real Dunder Mifflin commercial, the Michael Scott director's cut. Hope you like it.

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23. Animation? All her by the way.

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24. I just thought you should---

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25. Ahh.

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26. Okay.

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27. I don't want -

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28. Mmm...

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29. All right! I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be doing, but...

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30. Yup.

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31. Right.

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32. Mmmhmm. Why don't you start by telling me what you got.

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33. Love it.

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34. Mm, can't do that.

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35. Definitely can't do that.

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36. You know what?

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37. Okay, Scott, why don't you take your head out of the clouds and come back down to planet Earth so we can make a commercial.

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38. I'm just doing my job, man.

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39. Good! Fine! I've got one Andy Bernard that will direct this puppy for half your fee...

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40. What? What?

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41. What?

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42. Okay, make a commercial.

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43. Closed.

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44. Michael is on a mission to prove that he's creative. Which I think is odd, because Michael actually might be the most creative person I've ever known. Every day, Michael says and thinks things that no one has ever said or thought before.

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45. Oh, I don't think that is what's happening.

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46. So tell me again why I can't be part of your club?

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47. Oscar?

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48. So what are you going to do?

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49. Did they?

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50. We just passed the exit for Corcroan.

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51. What are we doing?

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52. We're going to Utica?

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53. I'm not going to Utica right now.

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54. No.

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55. I can't believe you guys. I'm not going to go further piss off my ex-girlfriend.

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56. No, I'm not calling Karen.

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57. What are you doing? Stop it, Dwight!

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58. Are you kidding me?

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59. Well, that kind of sucks, because it had all the photos of my brother's new baby on it, so...

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60. Okay.

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61. You know what? I'm just going to call a cab from here.

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62. Alright. Wait, what are you planning on doing?

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63. Oh, God.

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64. No.

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65. No, no absolutely we are not doing this.

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66. Are you kidding me? We've been driving around with this stuff in the trunk the whole time?

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67. So the deal was, Dwight doesn't blow anything up, and I wear a costume. And a moustache.

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68. What?

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69. Okay, you know what?

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70. Why don't we play that alphabet game that you were talking about?

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71. It doesn't matter.

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72. Doesn't matter.

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73. That doesn't make sense, couldn't be.

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74. Oh my God!

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75. Michael, watch the road!

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76. Michael! Michael, pull over!

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77. Pull over, pull over!

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78. I can't believe we're here, I can't believe this is happening.

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79. No, Michael. I'm not leaving the car.

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80. Guy's going by. Shh.

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81. No, no, you won't do that. Nope.

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82. Dwight, nothing with the eyes, please?

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83. Oh my God, that's her! That's her, go, go, go.

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84. Shut up, you, shut up! This is the dumbest thing we've ever done.

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85. Okay, you know what? You don't need to be updating me as much as you're updating me.

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86. No, no, don't do anything to them.

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87. Alright, Great Scott, if you found that choking hazard poster, just head on home.

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88. Isn't that thing huge?

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89. No, that is a terrible idea, don't do this.

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90. Okay! First of all, stop using my name. And second of all-

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91. Damn it guys!

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92. Oh my God, oh my God, Karen is back!

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93. No, I'm not doing that.

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94. No, I'm not doing that!

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95. Hey Karen.

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96. First of all, hi.

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97. You good? I'm just checking on the other branches. Michael wants me to do that from time to time, so...

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98. Copy that.

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99. Yes?

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100. Yeah, trying to quit though.

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