Jim Halpert Quotes from The Office (page 21)

Salesman, prank enthusiast, permanent camera confidant.

6,816 quotes · page 21 of 69

1. Yeah.

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2. Bat birth control

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3. Which we are.

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4. You know what though, I've actually seen ads for nurses that you can hire by the hour, for parties and bachelor events.

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5. Great, it's gonna cost a couple a hundred buck and ah... oh actually more with tips.

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6. Baquette.

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7. Eww.

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8. I can imagine.

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9. You couldn't have taken off all your clothes in the men's room?

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10. Gross.

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11. Alright.

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12. Oh, I'm sorry, is this a working office, and not a French beach?

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13. Oh, would you look at that.

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14. Ooo! An estate sale. Wanna go in?

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15. OK, but what if I told you all the money you spend here, goes to preventing a disease that's already been cured.

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16. That's what I thought.

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17. Right. Let's do some good.

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18. Oh, and I get to carry it.

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19. ...talk about it.

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20. What are you doing here? Did you come back for us, or...

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21. Well, you're probably dehydrated.

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22. Glass of water would be a start.

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23. Wow! You are a downer. We were having a pretty nice day.

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24. You are?

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25. I'm sorry, are you saying that Meredith was drunk at 9 AM?

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26. Definitely not.

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27. Conference room?

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28. Hey.

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29. Oh wow, thank you.

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30. I'm just gonna grab some chips, you want some?

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31. I guess. How dare you.

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32. Ummm... yup. Yes, we are.

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33. Actually, we've been dating for a couple months.

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34. Ohh..

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35. Hey. So now that we are dating, uh, we just wanted to know if we had to sign one of those 'we're dating' things for the company.

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36. Oh.

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37. Sorry, uh do we need to sign one, or...?

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38. What?

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39. Oh, OK.

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40. Great.

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41. Wait a second. Last time I checked, Dunder Mifflin already has a website. And quite frankly, I'm not really sure what's wrong with it.

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42. Swore I wouldn't tell anyone this, but in the interest of revealing secrets. Oh my God, this will make your brain explode. Umm, Dwight and Angela dating. Have been for six months.

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43. Swear to God.. Aww this is great. I was actually gonna wait and tell you on your birthday, but this is much more fun.

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44. Wait. What? You knew? And you didn't say anything?

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45. Fair enough. Wow! We should have started dating like a long time ago.

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46. Oh no, we're just sitting here.

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47. OK.

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48. And... that is why we waited so long to tell people.

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49. Why do you have the Big picture up again? You used that already, when you burned your foot.

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50. Hey, Amy. How ya doing?

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51. Nice to meet you.

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52. Hey.

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53. Alright I just have to ask now that we're public, um, is the magic gone?

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54. I knew it. Oh man, just like that huh?

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55. Be honest.

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56. That's honest. Alright, fair enough. It was really fun while it lasted though, wasn't it?

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57. For me, it was.

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58. Alright.

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59. Why don't we just go by ourselves?

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60. What about a gift basket full of cash?

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61. Yeah, he's definitely something.

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62. That whole lifestyle, his whole vibe, you find that appealing?

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63. I guess he can't get any girl he wants.

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64. Into a lake.

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65. I know. I love it there.

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66. Mmhmm, yeah, last time I was there I had a lot of fun.

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67. Sounds great.

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68. Yeee... (grunts in frustration)

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69. That was slightly harsh, don't you think?

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70. You didn't set up your BlackBerry, Dwight?

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71. As opposed to...

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72. What about cars?

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73. They do? So, cars are flightless airplanes.

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74. Got it. They're like the penguins of the airplane family.

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75. Thanks.

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76. There's this cube on the screen, and it bounces around all day, and sometimes it looks like it's heading right into the corner of the screen, and at the last minute it hits a wall and bounces away. And we are all just dying to see it go right into the corner. Pam claims that she saw it one day when she was alone in the conference room. Okay. I believe she thinks she saw it.

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77. Wait for it.

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78. Hey Meredith, how you feelin'?

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79. Oh, please, it was my pleasure. Well we all came, so...

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80. Haha...

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81. Uh-huh.

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82. MmmHmm...

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83. Oh yeah.

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84. Alright...

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85. Whoops. Is that really what Ryan wanted you to tell us?

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86. Actually it sounds like you are.

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87. Or zipadeedoodaah.

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88. I was... mocking.

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89. Or a gong.

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90. Really? Power gel?

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91. What would you say if I told you we could pull a prank on Dwight and at the same time not be working?

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92. What?

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93. Yeah, I'm aware of that. But he's also being super annoying. And I'm not a perfect person.

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94. Not sure. Just became self-aware. So much to figure out. I think I am programmed to be your enemy. I think it is my job to destroy you when it comes to selling paper.

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95. Sure we'll go.

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96. Oh I'm sorry. What?

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97. Nope.

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98. Definitely not. If anything it was a tie.

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99. How's it going?

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100. Yeah?

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