Jim Halpert Quotes from The Office (page 18)

Salesman, prank enthusiast, permanent camera confidant.

6,816 quotes · page 18 of 69

1. I don't know. Feel like... Friday night crowds...

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2. Agoraphobic?

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3. Really?

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4. Absolutely correct.

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5. Kev, have a good weekend.

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6. Here we go...

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7. Ok...

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8. Sounds good.

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9. Hey...

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10. I guess... all things considered, I was lucky Dwight was there. And Roy was lucky that Dwight only used pepper spray. And not the nunchucks or the throwing stars.

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11. Hey man, I never got a chance to thank you... for stopping Roy. Thank you.

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12. Okay. Um... Got you something.

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13. You don't know what it is.

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14. It was a little glass display case for his for his bobblehead. That would have made us even, I think. He saves my life, I get him a box for his desk toy. Even Steven.

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15. Where'd you get that?

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16. Hey, Mike. Since Roy left I've been doing a lot more work, and I need a raise.

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17. I can't hear you.

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18. Still nothin'.

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19. No.

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20. Nice.

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21. Okay.

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22. And what happens in this one?

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23. Okay.

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24. Can I have a raise?

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25. Sex, Steve Martin, Terri Hatcher.

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26. What?

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27. I didn't say anything. I was waiting to see what happened.

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28. So, none of that tipped you off?

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29. Yeah, that was nuts.

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30. No, I mean, you guys really seem to have a strong connection.

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31. We'll see. I'm sure you guys will... find you way back to one another someday.

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32. Oh, yeah. Don't worry about it.

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33. Ok, if you don't want a gift, at least let me buy you a beer, or lunch or something.

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34. Boy I---

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35. It's like when he annoys me and I want to screw with him to get him back, he never sees it coming. But now, I want to be nice to him, and actually give him something, and he's like an eel. I just can't grab onto him. It's infuriating.

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36. Well... yes, that's probably what it is. So what do I do?

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37. Thanks, Kev. I'm good though.

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38. What's what?

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39. Wow. I guess word got around. That's a nice... honor.

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40. Didn't think you'd notice...

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41. I... will never say a word. And now, we are even.

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42. Hey, Andy. How are you, man?

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43. What's that?

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44. No, I'm not gonna call you that.

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45. Andy.

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46. Andy, Dwight says welcome back, and he could use a hug.

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47. Dwight says that he actually doesn't know one single fact about bear attacks.

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48. Andy! Nah, that's too far.

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49. You really wanna bet?

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50. Ok, you're on.

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51. No, don't worry about it. We'll just got double or nothin'.

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52. I don't know, we'll figure somethin' out.

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53. There's like ten green ones.

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54. I'm gonna say fifty.

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55. Oh, don't be that person.

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56. Kev's out.

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57. Okay, okay.

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58. Okay.

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59. I'd say like... 10,000 to 1?

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60. Well, you know, the first performance was a little off. But I really think they hit their stride, in the second show. Um, might even bring my parents tomorrow, to the matinee.

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61. Oh, excuse me. It's my... favorite part.

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62. Oh my God, there

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63. Oh. He's going to kill himself, pretending to kill himself.

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64. Hey uh, Michael. Don't jump on the bouncy castle. You can't do that, because you're going to get horribly, horribly injured.

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65. Dwight...

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66. Oh, you know what we should probably preserve the batteries.

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67. OK, Ryan you know what? You can do this.

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68. Come on.

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69. Come on. He'll listen to you.

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70. Oh!

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71. No no no!

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72. OK. careful, thanks.

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73. It's kind of blurry. That's better. Question. What kind of bear is best?

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74. False. Black bear.

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75. Fact. Bears eat beets. Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.

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76. Last week, I was in a drug store and I saw these glasses. Uh, four dollars. And it only cost me seven dollars to recreate the rest of the ensemble. And that's a grand total of... eleven dollars.

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77. ... MICHAEL!

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78. Absolutely. I couldn't be more sorry about this.

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79. One more. Why are you talking like that?

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80. Yeah, I gotta call out on that.

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81. All right.

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82. Yeah, I'm definitely gonna go alone.

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83. Oh, did the press ask for a story?

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84. What's that?

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85. You know her name.

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86. It's fine.

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87. What about music? Do you have any music?

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88. I was thinkin' about more like a CD, or... a CD.

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89. Lord, beer me strength.

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90. Did that

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91. Oh, is she that teacher in the white?

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92. Which one... is she?

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93. Wow.

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94. No, I don't think so.

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95. Nope.

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96. No.

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97. No.

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98. Oh, Andy. You know what? We don't have a

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99. Andy--- Ohh...

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100. Oh my God.

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