Jim Halpert Quotes from The Office (page 15)

Salesman, prank enthusiast, permanent camera confidant.

6,816 quotes · page 15 of 69

1. Not bad, but you are Italian so... try it more Italian.

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2. You feel good?

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3. All right.

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4. Hey!

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5. Oh yeah. I'm trying to move away from that. Getting into more of a bottled water phase.

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6. Well, I'm evolving, Pam.

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7. Oh! Um... tonight, actually? No. I'm uh just still getting settled.

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8. Okay.

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9. Nope. You're not interrupting anything. Nope. I'm...

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10. Don't...

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11. All right. I should probably get back to work. Get back to work.

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12. All right!

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13. Does he ever.

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14. Yeah, it does, actually.

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15. Hey! Where you at, Filippelli?

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16. What's wrong? You didn't have a good first day?

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17. Yeah. Sure. Sounds good. I... . Hey! You know what? Can I give you a call right back?

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18. Ok, thanks.

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19. Hey.

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20. I thought you had already... left.

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21. Oh... Good.

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22. Oh, nothing. I just feel bad. I feel like things were a little weird today... or something.

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23. I just think I should tell you that... I've sort of started seeing someone. And uh...

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24. O..ok. Um..good.

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25. Right.

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26. Yeah. Good to be back.

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27. Hey, Kev. How you doing?

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28. Okay.

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29. Smart. Good. Hey, Angela.

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30. Bye, Angela. All right, Kev.

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31. See you later.

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32. Yeah, I never even knew that part of the office existed. Hey, who's that guy?

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33. Huh.

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34. Seems like a nice enough guy.

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35. What about, uh..

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36. Really?

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37. Thank you for all of this. This is so helpful. You know what? One last question. Um, who is that fine older gentleman in the corner?

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38. For the North.

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39. Obviously.

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40. Sorry. Man.

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41. Yeah.

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42. Hey.

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43. Just about... yup. Now.

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44. Yes. I have started to see Karen. It's very new, and... not really ready to talk about it openly yet, just because, I think, once the word gets out there, it might affect the way people behave around us or... I dunno. Just, not yet.

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45. Jim Halpert.

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46. ...Okay I can't... help you... with that.

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47. She is dating Ryan, I think.

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48. She's... high-maintenance.

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49. Yeah, trust me, that would be fun for no one.

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50. ...Absolutely you should.

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51. I know Pam pretty well. I know the things that she likes, and, just as important, I know the things that she hates. So, one of the things that she likes is pranks. And, the things that she hates...

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52. Frisbee-based competitions...

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53. She...

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54. Lead off with that. She loves hunting. She also loves those ads for Six Flags, with the old guy. Got it. Also... do you speak pig latin?

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55. Jonas Salk.

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56. Justin Timberlake?

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57. What is that, like... five pounds?

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58. Oh. Andy. I thought of one last tact you can take with Pam.

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59. Quick question - do you play the guitar?

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60. Hold on, let me think about that, yes, that'll work. But can you sing in a sexy high falsetto voice?

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61. Yup. That's perfect.

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62. Hey.

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63. Perfect.

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64. ...I'm messing with Andy. I'm sending him to all the women in the office with... just... terrible information on how to get them to go out with him.

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65. ...Oh, you know what? ... It was... gonna be Pam, but...

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66. Uh, you know what though? I feel like I already sicked him on Pam... we'll give her a break. Let's think of someone else.

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67. Where... did you learn all of this?

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68. So, not prison.

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69. What'd you do, Prison Mike?

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70. That is... quite the rap sheet, Prison Mike.

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71. Well, you're... in... prison, but, mmhmm.

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72. Okay, Michael. Come on. Let us out.

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73. Merry Christmas Dwight.

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74. Wow. What have we got here?

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75. Dead goose.

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76. All right.

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77. Wow. Win-Win.

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78. Wow. What kind of bike is that?

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79. But the paint's chipping. Is that your old bike, Michael?

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80. Oh, I think you're supposed to put a toy

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81. Carol.

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82. It's a bold move, to Photoshop yourself into a picture with your girlfriend and her kids on a ski trip with their real father. But then again, Michael's a bold guy. Is bold the right word?

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83. What?

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84. Are you serious?

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85. Last year, my boss, Michael Scott, took a day off because he said he had pneumonia, but really, he was leaving early to go to magic camp. Wow.

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86. You know what? Uh, I really don't think I should be doing this stuff anymore, you know?

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87. No, because of the promotion.

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88. It just feels a little bit, like...

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89. I feel like there's a chance for me to start over. And if I fall back into the same kind of things I used to do., then ... what am I doing?

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90. Will they still air 'Rudolph?'

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91. Yup, looks like the Scranton people and the Stamford people are finally coming together. And that's what you want, right?

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92. OK, I think I can help here.

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93. As ranking number two, I am starting a committee to determine the validity of the two committees and I am the sole member. The committee will act on this now.

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94. Could you please keep it down? I'm in session. I've determined that this committee is valid.

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95. Permission denied.

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96. OK. Wow, thanks for taking all the excuses, dude.

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97. Yes.

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98. No, it's not.

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99. Oh, she's asleep.

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100. Probably.

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