Jim Halpert Quotes from The Office (page 13)

Salesman, prank enthusiast, permanent camera confidant.

6,816 quotes · page 13 of 69

1. What's gay-dar?

   Season 3 · Episode 1 · Quote 9547

2. I miss that.

   Season 3 · Episode 1 · Quote 9550

3. Let's find out.

   Season 3 · Episode 1 · Quote 9658

4. Oh! Lots of results.

   Season 3 · Episode 1 · Quote 9660

5. It's really good to see you, man.

   Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9737

6. Yeah, sold about forty thousand.

   Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9740

7. No, it's not. I did. Yep.

   Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9743

8. You know, when I saw Dwight, I realized how stupid and petty all those pranks I pulled on him were. And then he spoke. I wonder how hard it would be to get a copy of his room key.

   Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9745

9. Oh, Dwight. I've missed you so much.

   Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9752

10. That is a lot of liquor.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9778

11. And a dart board.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9780

12. Oh, no, sorry, it's an inside joke. There's this bartender at Stamford who, uh... you know what? You'd just have to be there.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9785

13. Yeah.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9788

14. All right, nice meeting you, Ted. Take care.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9813

15. Oh yeah?

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9832

16. Oh, tell him I say hi.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9834

17. Hey, how is... Toby?

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9836

18. Oh, no, it was... you know, a good opportunity for me, a promotion. I got a chance to...

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9838

19. Michael, it's really not a competition.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9840

20. Michael.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9860

21. Dwight's room key. And... Dwight's room. What can I say? Old habits die hard.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9897

22. Oh my God. Dwight got a hooker! Oh my God, I gotta call... well, I gotta call somebody, I don't even know who to call. Dwight got a hooker!

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9899

23. Michael. Am I the first to arrive?

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9924

24. Can I get a drink?

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9926

25. Can I get a drink?

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9928

26. Yeah.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9930

27. Michael...

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9932

28. Wait, wait. I didn't transfer because of you. You're a good boss. You're a great boss.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9934

29. Michael, it's not about... I transferred because of Pam.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9936

30. No, I just... I heard something about that. It's just, I kind of put it all on the line. Twice, actually. And she said no. Twice.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9938

31. Nope, that's okay.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9940

32. That's all right.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9942

33. Yeah. Okay, maybe.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9944

34. Hey.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9947

35. How are you?

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9949

36. No, we used to. Now we're friends.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9953

37. At the Stamford branch, they all play this World War II video game called Call of Duty, and they're all really into it. I'm told it started as a team building exercise. Unfortunately I really suck at it. We didn't play many video games in Scranton. Instead we'd do stuff like, uh, Pam and I would sometimes hum the same high pitched note, and try to get Dwight to make an appointment with an ear doctor. And uh, Pam called it... Pretendenitus.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10035

38. I'm just killing Germans, any way I can.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10047

39. Wait, are we playing teams?

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10049

40. Yeah I think we can be a big help to your company. Ok, see you next week. Bye. Again?

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10113

41. Oh, I'm sorry I don't know... what we're talking about...

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10122

42. Um, sniper rifle?

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10125

43. I'm sorry what are you whispering about?

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10208

44. I'm trying---

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10210

45. Oh.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10212

46. What?

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10214

47. Wow. Psychopath.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10215

48. [leaving his desk for the day, pretends pull the pen out of a pretend grenade, and tosses it to Karen]

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10253

49. Oh? Someone's left out in the open, taking a little siesta. Not smart. Yes! Finally killed you...

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10280

50. Hey, Jan.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10282

51. Pretty good.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10284

52. [baffled expression]

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10286

53. Things are a little bit... different here in Stamford. It's not bad.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Quote 10287

54. Oh yeah, definitely.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10332

55. What's up?

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10336

56. Oh.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10338

57. Mmm, that's where you're wrong. I'm your project supervisor today, and I have just decided that we're not doing anything until you get the chips that you require. So, I think we should go get some. Now, please.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10340

58. Okay, that is a 'no' on the on the West Side Market.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10393

59. Wow. Never pegged you for a quitter.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10395

60. Really?

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10397

61. Oh, there's no game. We're just trying to get these chips for Karen.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10400

62. I have no idea. We went right for the copier.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10403

63. And then we checked the fax machine.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10405

64. Hi, yeah. This is Mike from the West Side Market. Well, we get a shipment of Herr's salt and vinegar chips, and we ordered that about three weeks ago and haven't ... . yeah. You have 'em in the warehouse. Great. What is my store number... six. Wait, no. I'll call you back. Shut up.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10426

65. Nice!

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10478

66. Sounded good.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10480

67. Where'd I find what?

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10503

68. I called the manufacturer, who referred me to distributor, who referred me to the vending machine company, who told me that they sell them in the machines in the building next door.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10504

69. Umm... sure.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10525

70. He's so cute.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10527

71. That's okay. Oh, no, it's not. I'm sorry, is that your husband in the tub with him?

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10529

72. Sounds good.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Quote 10531

73. What?

    Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10637

74. Is it?

    Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10639

75. No, I didn't. I took back my chair that you took from me, but I didn't take your chair.

    Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10641

76. So I guess I can't get up.

    Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10643

77. Sure.

    Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10649

78. Love me, love me, say that you love me, fool me, fool me,

    Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10685

79. Go on and fool me. Love me, love me, say that you love me

    Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10687

80. fool me, fool me, go on and fool me. Love me,

    Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10689

81. Love me, say that you love me. Fool me, fool me, go on and fool me.

    Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10691

82. Ah, hey.

    Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10790

83. Hi.

    Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10792

84. Sorry, I forgot Kevin's extension. It's a fantasy football thing.

    Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10794

85. And I was just going to go through the system cause I didn't think you'd be there. Why, why are you still there?

    Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10796

86. Wow. Do you think you could send me a copy of that?

    Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10798

87. So...

    Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10800

88. Oh, I'm sorry. Go ahead.

    Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10802

89. Oh, good.

    Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10804

90. What time is it here? Um, we're in the same time zone.

    Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10806

91. How far away did you think we were?

    Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10808

92. Yeah. I have a question for you.

    Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10810

93. How many words per minute does the average person type?

    Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10812

94. Shut up. Mavis Beacon doesn't even type 90.

    Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10814

95. Ok, I said average.

    Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10816

96. Forget it. I was just about to brag but forget it.

    Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10818

97. No.

    Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10820

98. 65. Ok, no need to laugh.

    Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10822

99. Respectable?

    Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10824

100. Right.

     Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10826