thedundies.com

Jim Halpert Quotes from The Office (page 13)

Salesman, prank enthusiast, permanent camera confidant.

6,816 quotes · page 13 of 69

  1. What's gay-dar?

    Season 3 · Episode 1 · Line 9547

  2. I miss that.

    Season 3 · Episode 1 · Line 9550

  3. Let's find out.

    Season 3 · Episode 1 · Line 9658

  4. Oh! Lots of results.

    Season 3 · Episode 1 · Line 9660

  5. It's really good to see you, man.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9737

  6. Yeah, sold about forty thousand.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9740

  7. No, it's not. I did. Yep.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9743

  8. You know, when I saw Dwight, I realized how stupid and petty all those pranks I pulled on him were. And then he spoke. I wonder how hard it would be to get a copy of his room key.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9745

  9. Oh, Dwight. I've missed you so much.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9752

  10. That is a lot of liquor.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9778

  11. And a dart board.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9780

  12. Oh, no, sorry, it's an inside joke. There's this bartender at Stamford who, uh... you know what? You'd just have to be there.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9785

  13. Yeah.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9788

  14. All right, nice meeting you, Ted. Take care.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9813

  15. Oh yeah?

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9832

  16. Oh, tell him I say hi.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9834

  17. Hey, how is... Toby?

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9836

  18. Oh, no, it was... you know, a good opportunity for me, a promotion. I got a chance to...

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9838

  19. Michael, it's really not a competition.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9840

  20. Michael.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9860

  21. Dwight's room key. And... Dwight's room. What can I say? Old habits die hard.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9897

  22. Oh my God. Dwight got a hooker! Oh my God, I gotta call... well, I gotta call somebody, I don't even know who to call. Dwight got a hooker!

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9899

  23. Michael. Am I the first to arrive?

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9924

  24. Can I get a drink?

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9926

  25. Can I get a drink?

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9928

  26. Yeah.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9930

  27. Michael...

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9932

  28. Wait, wait. I didn't transfer because of you. You're a good boss. You're a great boss.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9934

  29. Michael, it's not about... I transferred because of Pam.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9936

  30. No, I just... I heard something about that. It's just, I kind of put it all on the line. Twice, actually. And she said no. Twice.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9938

  31. Nope, that's okay.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9940

  32. That's all right.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9942

  33. Yeah. Okay, maybe.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9944

  34. Hey.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9947

  35. How are you?

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9949

  36. No, we used to. Now we're friends.

    Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9953

  37. At the Stamford branch, they all play this World War II video game called Call of Duty, and they're all really into it. I'm told it started as a team building exercise. Unfortunately I really suck at it. We didn't play many video games in Scranton. Instead we'd do stuff like, uh, Pam and I would sometimes hum the same high pitched note, and try to get Dwight to make an appointment with an ear doctor. And uh, Pam called it... Pretendenitus.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10035

  38. I'm just killing Germans, any way I can.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10047

  39. Wait, are we playing teams?

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10049

  40. Yeah I think we can be a big help to your company. Ok, see you next week. Bye. Again?

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10113

  41. Oh, I'm sorry I don't know... what we're talking about...

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10122

  42. Um, sniper rifle?

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10125

  43. I'm sorry what are you whispering about?

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10208

  44. I'm trying---

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10210

  45. Oh.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10212

  46. What?

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10214

  47. Wow. Psychopath.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10215

  48. [leaving his desk for the day, pretends pull the pen out of a pretend grenade, and tosses it to Karen]

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10253

  49. Oh? Someone's left out in the open, taking a little siesta. Not smart. Yes! Finally killed you...

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10280

  50. Hey, Jan.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10282

  51. Pretty good.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10284

  52. [baffled expression]

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10286

  53. Things are a little bit... different here in Stamford. It's not bad.

    Season 3 · Episode 3 · Line 10287

  54. Oh yeah, definitely.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Line 10332

  55. What's up?

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Line 10336

  56. Oh.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Line 10338

  57. Mmm, that's where you're wrong. I'm your project supervisor today, and I have just decided that we're not doing anything until you get the chips that you require. So, I think we should go get some. Now, please.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Line 10340

  58. Okay, that is a 'no' on the on the West Side Market.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Line 10393

  59. Wow. Never pegged you for a quitter.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Line 10395

  60. Really?

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Line 10397

  61. Oh, there's no game. We're just trying to get these chips for Karen.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Line 10400

  62. I have no idea. We went right for the copier.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Line 10403

  63. And then we checked the fax machine.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Line 10405

  64. Hi, yeah. This is Mike from the West Side Market. Well, we get a shipment of Herr's salt and vinegar chips, and we ordered that about three weeks ago and haven't ... . yeah. You have 'em in the warehouse. Great. What is my store number... six. Wait, no. I'll call you back. Shut up.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Line 10426

  65. Nice!

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Line 10478

  66. Sounded good.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Line 10480

  67. Where'd I find what?

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Line 10503

  68. I called the manufacturer, who referred me to distributor, who referred me to the vending machine company, who told me that they sell them in the machines in the building next door.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Line 10504

  69. Umm... sure.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Line 10525

  70. He's so cute.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Line 10527

  71. That's okay. Oh, no, it's not. I'm sorry, is that your husband in the tub with him?

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Line 10529

  72. Sounds good.

    Season 3 · Episode 4 · Line 10531

  73. What?

    Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10637

  74. Is it?

    Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10639

  75. No, I didn't. I took back my chair that you took from me, but I didn't take your chair.

    Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10641

  76. So I guess I can't get up.

    Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10643

  77. Sure.

    Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10649

  78. Love me, love me, say that you love me, fool me, fool me,

    Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10685

  79. Go on and fool me. Love me, love me, say that you love me

    Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10687

  80. fool me, fool me, go on and fool me. Love me,

    Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10689

  81. Love me, say that you love me. Fool me, fool me, go on and fool me.

    Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10691

  82. Ah, hey.

    Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10790

  83. Hi.

    Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10792

  84. Sorry, I forgot Kevin's extension. It's a fantasy football thing.

    Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10794

  85. And I was just going to go through the system cause I didn't think you'd be there. Why, why are you still there?

    Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10796

  86. Wow. Do you think you could send me a copy of that?

    Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10798

  87. So...

    Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10800

  88. Oh, I'm sorry. Go ahead.

    Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10802

  89. Oh, good.

    Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10804

  90. What time is it here? Um, we're in the same time zone.

    Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10806

  91. How far away did you think we were?

    Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10808

  92. Yeah. I have a question for you.

    Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10810

  93. How many words per minute does the average person type?

    Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10812

  94. Shut up. Mavis Beacon doesn't even type 90.

    Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10814

  95. Ok, I said average.

    Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10816

  96. Forget it. I was just about to brag but forget it.

    Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10818

  97. No.

    Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10820

  98. 65. Ok, no need to laugh.

    Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10822

  99. Respectable?

    Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10824

  100. Right.

    Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10826