Jim Halpert Quotes from The Office (page 14)

Salesman, prank enthusiast, permanent camera confidant.

6,816 quotes · page 14 of 69

1. Ok.

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2. Yeah.

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3. I know!

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4. No way. How do you confuse 28 Days with 28 Days Later?

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5. No, you're making this up!

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6. Yes. Fancy New Beesley would make that up. New apartment, new stories.

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7. And how many kitchens?

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8. Wow, you got totally taken for a ride Beesley.

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9. Most apartments these days have like three.

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10. Yes! How are you going to cook every meal of the day in one kitchen?

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11. Pam?

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12. Pam?

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13. Oh, yeah, I should, I should, I should probably go too.

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14. Oh, no no.

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15. Yeah, uh, well.

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16. Ok.

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17. Yeah. Bye Pam.

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18. See, that's weird.

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19. I saw the movie. I just don't know every line from the film.

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20. Sorry.

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21. I started biking into work. Josh does it and he lives a lot farther away than I do. And also it saves gas money, keeps me in shape... helps the environment. And now I know it makes me really sweaty for work.

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22. Thank you.

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23. Scuse me?

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24. Wow.

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25. Yup.

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26. Once a quarter, the sales staff at this branch has to stay late to do order form consolidation... which, amazingly, is even less interesting than it sounds.

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27. What's that?

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28. Yep.

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29. Oh, Holy Mother of God.

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30. Good.

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31. Oh.

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32. Can I have a ride, man? I... uh... I have my bike.

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33. Okay.

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34. Oh.

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35. I'm a drunk driver.

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36. Man, you can really hold your liquor, Billabelli.

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37. No kidding. And I am just going to lie down in the back, if that's all right.

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38. So good.

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39. Nope, I got eel.

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40. Hey.

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41. Oh, umm... kinda hard to explain.

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42. I don't have a ton of contact with the Scranton branch, but, before I left, I took a box of Dwight's stationery, so, from time to time, I send Dwight faxes. From himself. From the future. 'Dwight, at 8 A.M. today, someone poisons the coffee. Do not drink the coffee. More instructions will follow. Cordially, Future Dwight.'

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43. Really? Wow... that's bad.

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44. Well, I work here now.

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45. I worked in Scranton for a really long time. And uh, it's going to be weird that it's all disappearing. I mean, I always knew that the branch would shut down someday. I just figured it would be because Michael sold the building for some magic beans.

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46. Hey, do you have a second?

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47. I know it's not definite or whatever, but uh, do you know who's coming over here from Scranton?

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48. Okay, so is it like sales or... accountants?

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49. What does that mean?

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50. Say what you will about Michael Scott, but he would never do that.

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51. Wow.

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52. Thank you.

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53. No, it's just I'm not sure if I um... well to be quite honest with you, Jan, I have a few unpleasant memories of Scranton. And um...

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54. No. No, no. Just um... some personal stuff. And I'm not really ready to revist that, I don't think.

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55. Okay.

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56. I really don't know. How you doing with all this?

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57. You'd actually move to Scranton?

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58. New York City is 45 minutes down the road from here. And you wanna move to Scranton? I dunno. If I were you I'd move to New York?

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59. Hey, um, I think I am gonna take that job. And Scranton... it's not that bad. So, if they offer you a job there, I think you should take it.

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60. Okay.

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61. The Stamford branch is closing and everybody's just packing up their stuff. Andy Bernard made these tasteful hats.

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62. Yeah.

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63. You know what? I think you just need to meet him.

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64. Sounds good Andy.

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65. Yes. This is going to be very interesting. All right, I'm out of here. See you later?

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66. Right.

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67. Okay.

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68. Hi, I'm Jim. I'm new here.

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69. Yeah, I was just doing a little joke there about how we'd never met...

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70. Awesome! Good to be back. The place looks really good.

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71. You, too.

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72. Where do I stand with Pam? Um... no idea. I mean, we're friends. Always have been friends. Um... .that is where we stand.

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73. Hey, Dwight.

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74. Okay. Sounds good.

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75. I don't know what you're talking about.

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76. No. Looks good.

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77. I'm not.

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78. I am.

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79. Okay.

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80. Hey! How are you man? Good to see... you.

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81. Oh, I'm sorry. Are you sitting here now?

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82. Oh.

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83. You know, man, it's really you're call.

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84. Let me get that for you.

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85. This one taken? No. Good.

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86. Hey, Toby!

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87. How are you, man?

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88. I just wanted to say hi.

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89. Oh. Is that like your new thing?

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90. No. It's cool.

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91. All right. Good to be back.

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92. All right.

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93. No problem.

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94. ...what?

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95. Kelly!

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96. Really?

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97. Great. What's new with you?

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98. Oh, this looks promising.

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99. It reminds me of the orientation video showed on my first day. 'The Scranton Witch Project'.

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100. Terrible. Totally unconvincing.

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