Every quote from The Office season 6, episode 8, in script order. First aired November 5, 2009.
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Michael
Oh, just went to the bathroom.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33426
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Pam
And then you stopped at the bar on the way back?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33427
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Michael
I got thirsty.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33428
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Pam
Okay, weirdo. Come on. It's time for cake.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33429
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Michael
Honestly, for a long time I thought I was going to grow old with Holly. And then I met Helene. And she is great and she already knows and has done everything that I have ever wanted to do and can tell me about it. But, I think I want to do those things myself.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33430
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Pam
Cakes really good.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33431
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Helene
Oh, I know. I love how they use butter cream frosting.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33432
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Michael
Finish your cake, Helene.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33433
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Helene
Hmmm?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33434
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Michael
I want you to enjoy that cake because I have something terrible I need to tell you and I want you to enjoy your cake before I tell you this terrible, terrible thing.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33435
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Michael
Helene I think you're a wonderful person and I-- God-- I've enjoyed dating you and being your boyfriend so much. But I have to consider Pam's feelings as a friend and a co-worker I can not in good conscience continue to date you, when I know what this is doing to her.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33436
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Pam
Michael. Michael ,it's okay.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33437
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Michael
No it's not.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33438
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Pam
I know that it took me a little while to come around and its still a little weird to get used to, but you obviously make my mom very happy. And that makes me happy.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33439
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Michael
Wow. That just-- you've really grown.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33440
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Pam
Well--
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33441
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Michael
Thank you Pam. And I hope you are as gracious during this next part. Helene, once again you are a wonderful person and you have lived a great life and I envy it. And I want it someday, but just in the future. You need somebody who-- who understands your references. Who is Kafkaesque? I've never-- I don't know him. There's another woman. And her name is Italy... and skydiving... and bungee jumping.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33442
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Jim
Okay, so--
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33443
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Michael
And I want kids. And you... unfortunately, have already completed that part of your journey down there.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33444
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Pam
Michael.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33445
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Michael
It's not my decision. It's mother nature. And mother has very strict rules about fer-- -- tility.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33446
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Helene
I, um-- I got it.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33447
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Helene
I'm 58. What am I supposed to do now?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33448
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Michael
Well, hobbies--
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33449
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Jim
Stop.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33450
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Andy
Ahh.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33451
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Dwight
What's going on?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33452
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Andy
Stupid things wedged up there. No one in this office will help me.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33453
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Dwight
Alright, move it.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33454
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Andy
What if Dwight dies and I still owe him something? That is a recipe for a ghost.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33455
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Dwight
Oh yeah, you're going to owe me big time.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33456
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Andy
It's like a little envelope-- there you go.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33457
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Dwight
Got it. To Dwight. Wha-- Starbucks gift card.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33458
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Andy
Surprise! It's from everybody. $15 value.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33459
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Dwight
Dammit. I am no closer to taking Jim down. What a waste of a day. I could of grown poisoned mushrooms that would have been this high by now. They're mushrooms. They don't get that high.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33460
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Michael
Pamela Beesly Halpert--
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33461
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Pam
What?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33462
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Michael
May I have a word with you in my office please?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33463
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Pam
I am working.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33464
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Michael
Well, this is a work related matter.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33465
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Pam
Really?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33466
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Michael
Yes.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33467
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Pam
Really?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33468
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Michael
Yes. Join me please, won't you? I am going to give you a raise.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33469
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Pam
Why?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33470
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Michael
Because of all the good work you've done.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33471
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Pam
I have the lowest sales record of anyone here.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33472
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Michael
That's-- no, no-- it's not about numbers, Pam. It's about attitude.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33473
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Pam
I have the worst attitude of any person here.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33474
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Michael
Do you want the raise or what?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33475
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Pam
Yeah, I'll take it.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33476
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Michael
Hey, Pam, Pam-- with this raise there are strings attached. And the string is attached from my heart to your mean attitude.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33477
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Pam
You're bribing me?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33478
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Michael
No! No-- no I am not. Unless you want me to. DO you want me to? Cause I will. I will bribe you. No. Your face is saying don't-- unless I haven't offered you enough... your face isn't changing. What is it? Talk to me face. Tell me what Pam's brain is thinking. Come on! What do you want? What do you want? Do you want a million dollars? Do you want to hit me? Want me to get down on one knee and beg you or--
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33479
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Pam
I want to hit you.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33480
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Michael
What?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33481
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Pam
I want to hit you. I'll do that.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33482
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Michael
Oh-- okay , what? I don't-- Are you kidding?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33483
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Pam
No. Are you kidding?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33484
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Michael
Ye-- No. Alright. I'll take off my jacket and tense my stomach and you can just--
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33485
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Pam
No. I don't think I can hit you in the office.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33486
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Michael
Okay.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33487
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Pam
So, um... we'll do it after work. In the parking lot. In front of everyone. I'm going to hit you as hard as I can.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33488
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Michael
Okay.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33489
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Pam
Okay.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33490
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Michael
Okay.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33491
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Pam
See you then.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33492
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Michael
See you.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33493
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Ryan
Hey.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33494
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Michael
Hey.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33495
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Ryan
Quick question.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33496
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Kelly
Yeah.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33497
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Ryan
Are you scared?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33498
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Michael
Never. About what? A little-- what are you talking--
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33499
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Ryan
We heard about the punch.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33500
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Michael
What punch?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33501
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Kelly
Pam. She's going to punch the crap out of your face after work.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33502
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Michael
I'm pretty sure we said slap.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33503
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Kelly
No, it's a punch and Pam has that crazy pregnancy strength now.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33504
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Ryan
I'm getting concerned that you don't seem to understand what's going to happen. Do you?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33505
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Michael
I-- mmm-- I'm good.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33506
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Ryan
alright. See you there.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33507
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Michael
Hey.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33508
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Jim
Hey.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33509
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Michael
Do you and Pam ever get frisky?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33510
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Jim
Inappropriate.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33511
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Michael
I mean-- do you ever wrestle with each other?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33512
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Jim
All the time.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33513
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Michael
Really?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33514
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Jim
Yeah.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33515
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Michael
She strong?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33516
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Jim
She wants it bad Michael.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33517
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Michael
Can you stop this?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33518
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Jim
I can.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33519
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Michael
Okay.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33520
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Jim
And I don't support her choice to hit you.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33521
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Michael
I don't either.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33522
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Jim
But at the same time she looks crazy and I do understand her reasoning.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33523
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Michael
Mmm-hmm. I know.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33524
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Jim
I just need some time.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33525