Every line from The Office season 6, episode 8, in script order. First aired November 5, 2009.
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Michael
Oh, just went to the bathroom.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33426
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Pam
And then you stopped at the bar on the way back?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33427
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Michael
I got thirsty.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33428
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Pam
Okay, weirdo. Come on. It's time for cake.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33429
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Michael
Honestly, for a long time I thought I was going to grow old with Holly. And then I met Helene. And she is great and she already knows and has done everything that I have ever wanted to do and can tell me about it. But, I think I want to do those things myself.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33430
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Pam
Cakes really good.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33431
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Helene
Oh, I know. I love how they use butter cream frosting.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33432
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Michael
Finish your cake, Helene.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33433
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Helene
Hmmm?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33434
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Michael
I want you to enjoy that cake because I have something terrible I need to tell you. I want you to enjoy your cake before I tell you this terrible, terrible thing.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33435
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Michael
Helene I think you're a wonderful person and I-- God-- I've enjoyed dating you and being your boyfriend so much. But I have to consider Pam's feelings as a friend and a co-worker I can not in good conscience continue to date you, when I know what this is doing to her.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33436
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Pam
Michael. Michael ,it's okay.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33437
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Michael
No it's not.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33438
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Pam
I know that it took me a little while to come around and its still a little weird to get used to, but you obviously make my mom very happy. And that makes me happy.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33439
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Michael
Wow. That just-- you've really grown.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33440
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Pam
Well--
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33441
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Michael
Thank you Pam. And I hope you are as gracious during this next part. Helene, once again you are a wonderful person and you have lived a great life and I envy it. And I want it someday, but just in the future. You need somebody who-- who understands your references. Who is Kafkaesque? I've never-- I don't know him. There's another woman. And her name is Italy... and skydiving... and bungee jumping.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33442
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Jim
Okay, so--
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33443
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Michael
And I want kids. And you... unfortunately, have already completed that part of your journey down there.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33444
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Pam
Michael.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33445
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Michael
It's not my decision. It's mother nature. And mother has very strict rules about fer-- -- tility.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33446
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Helene
I, um-- I got it.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33447
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Helene
I'm 58. What am I supposed to do now?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33448
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Michael
Well, hobbies--
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33449
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Jim
Stop.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33450
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Andy
Ahh.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33451
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Dwight
What's going on?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33452
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Andy
Stupid things wedged up there. No one in this office will help me.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33453
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Dwight
Alright, move it.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33454
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Andy
What if Dwight dies and I still owe him something? That is a recipe for a ghost.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33455
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Dwight
Oh yeah, you're going to owe me big time.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33456
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Andy
It's like a little envelope-- there you go.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33457
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Dwight
Got it. To Dwight. Wha-- Starbucks gift card.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33458
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Andy
Surprise! It's from everybody. $15 value.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33459
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Dwight
Dammit. I am no closer to taking Jim down. What a waste of a day. I could of grown poisoned mushrooms that would have been this high by now. They're mushrooms. They don't get that high.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33460
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Michael
Pamela Beesly Halpert--
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33461
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Pam
What?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33462
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Michael
May I have a word with you in my office please?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33463
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Pam
I am working.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33464
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Michael
Well, this is a work related matter.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33465
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Pam
Really?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33466
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Michael
Yes.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33467
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Pam
Really?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33468
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Michael
Yes. Join me please, won't you? I am going to give you a raise.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33469
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Pam
Why?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33470
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Michael
Because of all the good work you've done.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33471
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Pam
I have the lowest sales record of anyone here.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33472
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Michael
That's-- no, no-- it's not about numbers, Pam. It's about attitude.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33473
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Pam
I have the worst attitude of any person here.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33474
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Michael
Do you want the raise or what?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33475
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Pam
Yeah, I'll take it.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33476
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Michael
Hey, Pam, Pam-- with this raise there are strings attached. And the string is attached from my heart to your mean attitude.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33477
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Pam
You're bribing me?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33478
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Michael
No! No-- no I am not. Unless you want me to. DO you want me to? Cause I will. I will bribe you. No. Your face is saying don't-- unless I haven't offered you enough... your face isn't changing. What is it? Talk to me face. Tell me what Pam's brain is thinking. Come on! What do you want? What do you want? Do you want a million dollars? Do you want to hit me? Want me to get down on one knee and beg you or--
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33479
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Pam
I want to hit you.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33480
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Michael
What?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33481
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Pam
I want to hit you. I'll do that.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33482
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Michael
Oh-- okay , what? I don't-- Are you kidding?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33483
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Pam
No. Are you kidding?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33484
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Michael
Ye-- No. Alright. I'll take off my jacket and tense my stomach and you can just--
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33485
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Pam
No. I don't think I can hit you in the office.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33486
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Michael
Okay.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33487
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Pam
So, um... we'll do it after work. In the parking lot. In front of everyone. I'm going to hit you as hard as I can.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33488
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Michael
Okay.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33489
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Pam
Okay.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33490
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Michael
Okay.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33491
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Pam
See you then.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33492
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Michael
See you.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33493
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Ryan
Hey.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33494
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Michael
Hey.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33495
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Ryan
Quick question.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33496
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Kelly
Yeah.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33497
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Ryan
Are you scared?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33498
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Michael
Never. About what? A little-- what are you talking--
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33499
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Ryan
We heard about the punch.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33500
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Michael
What punch?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33501
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Kelly
Pam. She's going to punch the crap out of your face after work.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33502
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Michael
I'm pretty sure we said slap.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33503
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Kelly
No, it's a punch and Pam has that crazy pregnancy strength now.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33504
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Ryan
I'm getting concerned that you don't seem to understand what's going to happen. Do you?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33505
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Michael
I-- mmm-- I'm good.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33506
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Ryan
alright. See you there.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33507
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Michael
Hey.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33508
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Jim
Hey.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33509
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Michael
Do you and Pam ever get frisky?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33510
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Jim
Inappropriate.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33511
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Michael
I mean-- do you ever wrestle with each other?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33512
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Jim
All the time.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33513
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Michael
Really?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33514
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Jim
Yeah.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33515
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Michael
She strong?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33516
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Jim
She wants it bad Michael.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33517
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Michael
Can you stop this?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33518
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Jim
I can.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33519
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Michael
Okay.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33520
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Jim
And I don't support her choice to hit you.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33521
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Michael
I don't either.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33522
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Jim
But at the same time she looks crazy and I do understand her reasoning.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33523
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Michael
Mmm-hmm. I know.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33524
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Jim
I just need some time.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33525