Every line from The Office season 6, episode 8, in script order. First aired November 5, 2009.
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Dwight
Good morning everybody. Who would like an authentic New York bagel? Hmmm? Stanley?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33226
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Stanley
Thank you.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33227
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Dwight
No, no, no, no. I got a pumpernickel just for you.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33228
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Andy
Wow. H & H. You went all the way to New York City to get us bagels?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33229
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Dwight
Oh, why? Is there a place closer that sells them?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33230
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Phyllis
This is really nice Dwight, thanks.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33231
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Andy
Thanks.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33232
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Dwight
Oh, don't mention it. You owe me one. You all owe me one.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33233
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Dwight
Good morning Michael.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33234
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Michael
Morning Dwight.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33235
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Dwight
Hungry?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33236
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Michael
No. I had a fish stick sandwich. Actually I had two fish stick sandwiches. My girlfriend didn't want hers. Because I guess I'm the only aphrodisiac she needs.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33237
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Dwight
Fish sticks are not an aphrodisiac.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33238
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Michael
Well, yeah...
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33239
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Dwight
You're thinking of deer penis.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33240
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Michael
It worked.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33241
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Dwight
Regardless. That was over two hours ago and it is now a scientific fact that you are hungry. Bagel?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33242
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Michael
I don't mind if I do.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33243
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Dwight
K. I brought cheese too.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33244
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Michael
I'm taking one for my lady friend.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33245
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Dwight
Excellent.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33246
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Michael
Brain food. Thank you very much.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33247
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Dwight
Okay. You owe me.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33248
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Dwight
Can't a guy just buy some bagels for his friends so they'll owe him a favor which he can use to get someone fired who stole a co-manager position from him anymore? Geez. When did everyone get so cynical?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33249
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Dwight
Pam, would you care for a bagel?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33250
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Pam
Oh, no thank you.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33251
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Dwight
That's right. You're a woman and you need to refuse food the first time. I'll try again. Please Pam, reconsider and have a bagel.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33252
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Pam
I have an early lunch.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33253
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Pam
Michael's been trying to get Jim and me to hang out ever since he started dating my mom. I don't know. I really hoped this thing would just die out, but today he's planning a birthday lunch for my mom and we have to go. No way out. No way out.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33254
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Erin
These are amazing. You took all these?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33255
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Ryan
I've always found beauty in uncommon places. Homeless people. Graffiti. Photography lets me capture all that. Have you ever been photographed before?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33256
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Erin
Oh just by like friends.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33257
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Ryan
Well here's what I've been doing around here. It's for a series on exposure in the workplace.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33258
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Helene
Whoohoo! Pammy?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33259
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Pam
Hey! Hey. Happy birthday.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33260
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Helene
Thank you.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33261
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Michael
My girls. There they are.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33262
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Michael
Birthday lunch. Birthday lunch-- there is no better medicine than birthday lunch. It'll cure all of your 'Gee I don't know if Michael should be dating my mother' and fixes all occurrences of 'I don't really see them together'. So, open wide Pam and take a big old spoonful of birthday lunch medicine. Take with food.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33263
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Angela
Pam, aren't you going to introduce us to Michael's girlfriend?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33264
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Pam
I think you guys all remember my mom from the wedding.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33265
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Michael
Yeah--
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33266
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Kevin
Hi.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33267
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Michael
I think everyone has meet Helene. Shall we?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33268
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Helene
Wait a minute. Is that another birthday present for me cause you already gave me a necklace.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33269
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Kelly
Oh my God I love it.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33270
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Helene
Tell her how you gave it to me.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33271
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Michael
No, that wouldn't be--
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33272
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Helene
He put it around my neck while I was still asleep this morning. What a nice way to wake up.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33273
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Michael
Yeah. The rest of the story has been censored due to-- inappropriosity.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33274
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Kevin
Because of sex?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33275
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Michael
Hey--
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33276
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Pam
Kevin!
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33277
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Michael
Please, Kevin. You're fired. Sorry, sorry. Work with a bunch of idiots. Shall we go?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33278
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Pam
Yes, let's go.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33279
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Erin
Oh, wait. Um-- Swartz Lumber is on the phone for you Pam and they say it's urgent.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33280
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Pam
Oh, you guys. Just one second. Oh my gosh! Are you serious? Shipping emergency. I don't think I can go to lunch.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33281
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Jim
Oh man, that's crazy. Right as we were on our way out too.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33282
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Pam
I know. Isn't that always how it goes?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33283
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Jim
Rarely. If ever. Let me give it a whirl. I'll talk to them.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33284
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Pam
I want to handle it.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33285
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Jim
That's okay.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33286
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Pam
I feel like its--
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33287
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Jim
It's my pleasure. Hello? Well that's great. Turns out the paper was there all along.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33288
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Creed
Thank God.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33289
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Creed
Something's up. That paper was never supposed to arrive.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33290
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Helene
So, Pammy-- are you still liking sales?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33291
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Pam
Yeah-- it's exciting.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33292
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Helene
Well, you know-- Michael and I were-- talking, and maybe if you put a little more face to face time with your clients you could improve your sales.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33293
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Jim
Pam's sales are fine actually.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33294
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Michael
Just want you to succeed Pammy. You know what, we shouldn't even be talking about business today.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33295
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Pam
Thank you.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33296
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Michael
Today is about family.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33297
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Pam
Why did I get in the car? I could of struggled. I have a whistle in my purse I didn't even blow it.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33298
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Andy
Oh, Dwight. I have a little surprise for you.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33299
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Dwight
Let me guess-- you ate the bagel I gave you and loved it.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33300
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Andy
Yes! And I wanted to return the favor. I was polishing my loafers and I happened to look over and noticed that your brief case was a little worse for the wear, so a little elbow grease and she's polished right up, back up to her former glory.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33301
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Dwight
Wow--
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33302
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Andy
Feel it against your cheek.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33303
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Dwight
I will.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33304
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Andy
You give me a gift-- Bam! Thank you note. You invite me somewhere-- Pow! RSVP. You do me a favor-- Wham! Favor returned. Do not test my politeness.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33305
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Dwight
Let me get that door for you--
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33306
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Andy
Whoa--
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33307
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Dwight
There you go!
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33308
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Andy
Thank you very much. Now I've got it for you.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33309
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Dwight
Oh... goodness... thanks. You know, here's a healthy fitness tip. If you clench your buttocks together while walking you can really take the pressure off your knees.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33310
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Andy
Is that right?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33311
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Dwight
Observe.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33312
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Andy
Huh.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33313
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Dwight
Right?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33314
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Andy
That really works.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33315
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Dwight
Yeah, feel free to use that. Anytime. Okay.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33316
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Andy
Hey-- oh, hold on a second. Do not walk around with your jacket cattywampus.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33317
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Dwight
And that needs to be straight as an arrow.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33318
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Andy
Whoa-- thank you very much. Oh boy.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33319
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Dwight
Thank you very much for that.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33320
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Andy
You are very welcome.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33321
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Dwight
Have a seat. Allow me.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33322
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Andy
Have a seat yourself.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33323
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Dwight
You know what? I am going to preemptively change the batteries in your wireless mouse.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33324
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Andy
Not necessary.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33325