Every line from The Office season 6, episode 8, in script order. First aired November 5, 2009.
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Dwight
No, no, no!
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33326
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Andy
You didn't have to do that.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33327
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Dwight
Andy is complicating things. But I'm not worried. This will only up my game.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33328
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Michael
Hello. Scott. Table for four.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33329
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Hostess
Welcome Scott family. It'll be just a moment.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33330
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Pam
I use to love coming here. The chicken parm is good. Big part of my childhood. Oh, maybe Michael will start dating that too.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33331
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Michael
What table should we take? So many to choose from.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33332
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Jim
Wow.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33333
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Helene
Oh my God!
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33334
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Michael
What? All I see are boring old tables with no birthday decorations. Oh, wait a second! You mean this one? Wow!
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33335
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Pam
Michael, you did all this?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33336
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Michael
Not about taking credit. Let's just say we all did it.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33337
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Helene
Well, thank you. All of you.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33338
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Michael
Well, it was actually me alone, so-- wow look at this place. Really makes me want to go to Italy some day.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33339
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Helene
Oh you'll love it. You can have my guide books. I think I'm done with those really long plane rides.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33340
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Michael
Oh. Thank you. Thanks for lending me the books.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33341
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Pam
So, mom... which birthday are we celebrating this year?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33342
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Helene
Sticking with 49.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33343
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Pam
49 again? That's nine years in a row. This is now our longest family tradition.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33344
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Michael
That's funny.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33345
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Helene
Well, as long as you're running numbers Pam, then help me out with this one. Let's see your six months pregnant, but you've only been married for 30 days, so what does that add up to?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33346
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Jim
Oh, burn. Burn on you... and a little bit on me, too.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33347
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Michael
You're 54 years old.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33348
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Helene
No. I'm 58.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33349
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Michael
You're 58 years old?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33350
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Helene
Uh huh.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33351
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Michael
Congratulations.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33352
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Michael
The only time you should care about a woman's age is if she is too young for you and I am not robbing the cradle. If anything I am robbing the grave.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33353
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Pam
Mom, have you decided what you want to be called?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33354
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Helene
Oh, well I like Nana, but I also like the classic Grandma.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33355
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Pam
Please be Grandma.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33356
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Jim
Definitely Grandma.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33357
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Pam
I want you to be Grandma.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33358
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Helene
Oh, Michael what do you think? Grandma?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33359
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Michael
That--
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33360
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Pam
Yay, Grandma!
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33361
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Michael
Hey, would you guys ever do a triathlon, do you think?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33362
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Pam
Maybe.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33363
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Michael
Helene?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33364
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Helene
Oh, oh no. I don't think so.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33365
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Michael
I am. I'm definitely going to do it. I've already got the run and the bike thing down. Just need to learn how to swim. Come on, you in?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33366
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Helene
Oh no, I think a triathlon is pretty much something I can rule out. It just-- doesn't interest me.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33367
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Michael
So it's a matter of interest. Good, okay. It's not anything you would have ever done.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33368
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Helene
Hmm... I might have done it when I was younger, but now there's just other things I'd rather be doing, instead of running and jumping and swimming--
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33369
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Michael
Well there's no jumping in a triathlon.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33370
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Helene
Oh--
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33371
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Michael
You're thinking of the broad jump. Would you try-- bungee jumping?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33372
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Helene
No, no...
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33373
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Michael
Snowboarding?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33374
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Helene
You want to go snowboarding?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33375
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Michael
I might.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33376
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Helene
Michael, what are you talking about?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33377
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Michael
Nothing. Just life-- and doing things-- before you die. I don't know.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33378
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Michael
Do I really want to go snowboarding? No. But I would like to if I wanted to.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33379
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Andy
Aye-yi-yi!
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33380
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Dwight
What's going on in here?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33381
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Oscar
Andy bought lunch.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33382
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Dwight
Oh... no... really?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33383
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Andy
Yep, yep. Took a page right out of the old Schrute book of niceness.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33384
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Dwight
There is no book. There's only a survival guide.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33385
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Andy
You bought breakfast for everyone, so I got lunch for everyone.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33386
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Dwight
Okay, well, allow me. You know what-- gosh these tacos are awfully complicated to make. I will make everyone's tacos! Gra-ga-ga-ga-ga!
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33387
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Michael
So we should get the check?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33388
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Pam
What about your gift Michael?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33389
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Michael
Oh, no, no, no. No. It's stupid. You'd hate it. I hate it.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33390
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Helene
I'm sure I won't.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33391
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Michael
Yes you will.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33392
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Pam
He locked himself in his office all morning working on it.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33393
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Helene
Gimme. Look at this wrapping paper. It's got the word love on it in every language.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33394
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Pam
Aww--
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33395
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Michael
I literally-- I put no thought into the wrapping at all. Might as well of been toilet paper.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33396
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Helene
A scrapbook of our first memories by Michael Gary Scott. For my girlfriend Helene on your birthday.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33397
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Michael
That's just an arbitrary title.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33398
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Helene
Ok, there's a penny. What's that from?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33399
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Jim
Penny for your thoughts.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33400
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Helene
It was from the wishing well at the mall. You threw it in. I went back later, waded in and I found it.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33401
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Jim
Wow.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33402
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Pam
That's amazing.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33403
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Michael
It's not amazing... at all. It's sort of weird that I went and did that. And now your wish won't come true, so that blows.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33404
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Helene
A poem!
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33405
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Michael
Oh that I plagiarized I think.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33406
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Helene
I can not go to school today said little Peggy Ann McKay...
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33407
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Jim
Shel Silverstein.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33408
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Pam
Yeah.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33409
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Helene
Um-- I have the measles and the mumps, a gash, a rash and purple bumps. And my teachers really mean-- Happy Birthday , I love you Helene.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33410
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Pam
That's really nice Michael.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33411
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Michael
I think it sucks.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33412
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Helene
I think it's wonderful, absolutely wonderful.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33413
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Michael
Well, that's because you and I have very different tastes and you like lame things. It's a generational-- sort of gap between us.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33414
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Helene
God... it's a scrapbook.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33415
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Pam
Home run Michael.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33416
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Jim
You set the bar so high.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33417
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Michael
That was a bunt.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33418
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Andy
Whoa, whoa Dwight. I'm going to do this.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33419
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Dwight
Hey, hey, hey-- relax I got it covered.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33420
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Andy
No, I insist.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33421
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Dwight
No, no, no, no, no, no, I insist.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33422
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Andy
Ok, Dwight this is ridiculous.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33423
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Dwight
Don't worry about it. You can just owe me.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33424
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Pam
Hey. Where'd you go?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33425