Every quote from The Office season 6, episode 8, in script order. First aired November 5, 2009.
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Dwight
No, no, no!
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33326
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Andy
You didn't have to do that.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33327
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Dwight
Andy is complicating things. But I'm not worried. This will only up my game.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33328
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Michael
Hello. Scott. Table for four.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33329
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Hostess
Welcome Scott family. It'll be just a moment.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33330
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Pam
I use to love coming here. The chicken parm is good. Big part of my childhood. Oh, maybe Michael will start dating that too.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33331
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Michael
What table should we take? So many to choose from.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33332
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Jim
Wow.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33333
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Helene
Oh my God!
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33334
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Michael
What? All I see are boring old tables with no birthday decorations. Oh, wait a second! You mean this one? Wow!
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33335
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Pam
Michael, you did all this?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33336
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Michael
Not about taking credit. Let's just say we all did it.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33337
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Helene
Well, thank you. All of you.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33338
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Michael
Well, it was actually me alone, so-- wow look at this place. Really makes me want to go to Italy some day.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33339
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Helene
Oh you'll love it. You can have my guide books. I think I'm done with those really long plane rides.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33340
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Michael
Oh. Thank you. Thanks for lending me the books.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33341
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Pam
So, mom... which birthday are we celebrating this year?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33342
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Helene
Sticking with 49.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33343
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Pam
49 again? That's nine years in a row. This is now our longest family tradition.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33344
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Michael
That's funny.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33345
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Helene
Well, as long as you're running numbers Pam, then help me out with this one. Let's see your six months pregnant, but you've only been married for 30 days, so what does that add up to?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33346
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Jim
Oh, burn. Burn on you... and a little bit on me, too.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33347
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Michael
You're 54 years old.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33348
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Helene
No. I'm 58.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33349
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Michael
You're 58 years old?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33350
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Helene
Uh huh.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33351
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Michael
Congratulations.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33352
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Michael
The only time you should care about a woman's age is if she is too young for you and I am not robbing the cradle. If anything I am robbing the grave.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33353
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Pam
Mom, have you decided what you want to be called?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33354
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Helene
Oh, well I like Nana, but I also like the classic Grandma.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33355
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Pam
Please be Grandma.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33356
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Jim
Definitely Grandma.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33357
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Pam
I want you to be Grandma.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33358
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Helene
Oh, Michael what do you think? Grandma?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33359
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Michael
That--
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33360
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Pam
Yay, Grandma!
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33361
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Michael
Hey, would you guys ever do a triathlon, do you think?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33362
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Pam
Maybe.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33363
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Michael
Helene?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33364
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Helene
Oh, oh no. I don't think so.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33365
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Michael
I am. I'm definitely going to do it. I've already got the run and the bike thing down. Just need to learn how to swim. Come on, you in?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33366
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Helene
Oh no, I think a triathlon is pretty much something I can rule out. It just-- doesn't interest me.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33367
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Michael
So it's a matter of interest. Good, okay. It's not anything you would have ever done.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33368
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Helene
Hmm... I might have done it when I was younger, but now there's just other things I'd rather be doing, instead of running and jumping and swimming--
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33369
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Michael
Well there's no jumping in a triathlon.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33370
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Helene
Oh--
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33371
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Michael
You're thinking of the broad jump. Would you try-- bungee jumping?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33372
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Helene
No, no...
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33373
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Michael
Snowboarding?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33374
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Helene
You want to go snowboarding?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33375
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Michael
I might.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33376
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Helene
Michael, what are you talking about?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33377
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Michael
Nothing. Just life-- and doing things-- before you die. I don't know.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33378
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Michael
Do I really want to go snowboarding? No. But I would like to if I wanted to.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33379
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Andy
Aye-yi-yi!
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33380
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Dwight
What's going on in here?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33381
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Oscar
Andy bought lunch.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33382
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Dwight
Oh... no... really?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33383
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Andy
Yep, yep. Took a page right out of the old Schrute book of niceness.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33384
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Dwight
There is no book. There's only a survival guide.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33385
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Andy
You bought breakfast for everyone, so I got lunch for everyone.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33386
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Dwight
Okay, well, allow me. You know what-- gosh these tacos are awfully complicated to make. I will make everyone's tacos! Gra-ga-ga-ga-ga!
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33387
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Michael
So we should get the check?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33388
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Pam
What about your gift Michael?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33389
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Michael
Oh, no, no, no. No. It's stupid. You'd hate it. I hate it.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33390
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Helene
I'm sure I won't.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33391
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Michael
Yes you will.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33392
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Pam
He locked himself in his office all morning working on it.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33393
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Helene
Gimme. Look at this wrapping paper. It's got the word love on it in every language.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33394
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Pam
Aww--
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33395
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Michael
I literally-- I put no thought into the wrapping at all. Might as well of been toilet paper.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33396
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Helene
A scrapbook of our first memories by Michael Gary Scott. For my girlfriend Helene on your birthday.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33397
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Michael
That's just an arbitrary title.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33398
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Helene
Ok, there's a penny. What's that from?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33399
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Jim
Penny for your thoughts.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33400
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Helene
It was from the wishing well at the mall. You threw it in. I went back later, waded in and I found it.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33401
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Jim
Wow.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33402
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Pam
That's amazing.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33403
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Michael
It's not amazing... at all. It's sort of weird that I went and did that. And now your wish won't come true, so that blows.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33404
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Helene
A poem!
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33405
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Michael
Oh that I plagiarized I think.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33406
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Helene
I can not go to school today said little Peggy Ann McKay...
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33407
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Jim
Shel Silverstein.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33408
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Pam
Yeah.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33409
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Helene
Um-- I have the measles and the mumps, a gash, a rash and purple bumps. And my teachers really mean-- Happy Birthday , I love you Helene.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33410
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Pam
That's really nice Michael.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33411
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Michael
I think it sucks.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33412
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Helene
I think it's wonderful, absolutely wonderful.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33413
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Michael
Well, that's because you and I have very different tastes and you like lame things. It's a generational-- sort of gap between us.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33414
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Helene
God... it's a scrapbook.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33415
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Pam
Home run Michael.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33416
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Jim
You set the bar so high.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33417
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Michael
That was a bunt.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33418
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Andy
Whoa, whoa Dwight. I'm going to do this.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33419
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Dwight
Hey, hey, hey-- relax I got it covered.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33420
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Andy
No, I insist.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33421
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Dwight
No, no, no, no, no, no, I insist.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33422
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Andy
Ok, Dwight this is ridiculous.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33423
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Dwight
Don't worry about it. You can just owe me.
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33424
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Pam
Hey. Where'd you go?
Season 6 · Episode 8 · Quote 33425