Every line from The Office season 4, episode 3, in script order. First aired October 11, 2007.
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Dwight
I hadn't noticed.
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18447
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Andy
You hadn't noticed she's a woman?
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18448
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Dwight
[impatient sigh]
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18449
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Andy
I hear she's single and ready to mingle. I'm thinking about making a play for her. What do you think? Crazy, right?
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18450
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Dwight
I think it's inappropriate to date someone you work with.
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18451
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Andy
Isn't that part of the fun?
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18452
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Dwight
No. I think you should date Kelly.
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18453
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Andy
She works here too, how is that any different?
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18454
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Dwight
Uh, she works in the annex. You're also welcome to date Toby.
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18455
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Andy
Okay.
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18456
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Michael
Good news.
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18457
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Stanley
We get to go home?
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18458
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Michael
Guess who just ordered from your favorite pizza place, Alfredo?
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18459
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All
[murmurs of approval]
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18460
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Kevin
Wait! Alfredo's Pizza Cafe? Or Pizza by Alfredo?
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18461
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Michael
Same thing.
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18462
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Kevin
No, no.
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18463
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All
[disagreeing with Michael]
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18464
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Michael
You know what? I don't understand when you all talk at the same time.
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18465
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Kevin
Oscar, talk to him.
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18466
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Oscar
Michael, there's a very big difference between these two pizza places. Both in quality of ingredients, and overall taste. Which one did you order from?
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18467
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Michael
Pizza by Alfredo.
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18468
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All
[shouts of disapproval]
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18469
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Michael
Okay, okay, what's better? A medium amount of good pizza? Or all you can eat of pretty good pizza?
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18470
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All
Medium amount of good pizza.
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18471
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Michael
[sighs, walks back into office]
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18472
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Kevin
Oh no, it's bad. It's real bad. It's like eating a hot circle of garbage.
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18473
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Phyllis
You can pick one of these things. It's unreasonable for you to ask me to do all of this.
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18474
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Angela
It should take no time at all if you put the care into it that you normally do.
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18475
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Phyllis
[Balls up post-its and throws them in Angela's face]
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18476
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Angela
Ow!
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18477
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Phyllis
That seemed to shut her up.
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18478
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Andy
Are you looking for dinner and a movie? Because you're not going to find it in that box.
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18479
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Andy
Just so happens that I know where you can find it, but again, not in the box.
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18480
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Andy
Angela, are you hearing words that I'm saying?
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18481
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Angela
What?
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18482
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Andy
Hello.
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18483
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Angela
I have been working on a party for three weeks that just got thrown out the window. So now I've got to pull together a whole new party, and my useless number two quit, so now there's no one in charge of orchids, chocolates, or the thing that's made of ice. And my upper back itches, and it's itched all day, and I can't reach it, and Kevin had Greek food for lunch again.
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18484
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Andy
They say you should never mix business with pleasure. Really? Well then, explain to me how a putt-putt golf company operates.
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18485
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Michael
Yup.
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18486
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Pam
The Pizza by Alfredo guy is here.
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18487
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Michael
You don't have to say it like that.
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18488
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Pam
I said it normal.
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18489
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Michael
Hey
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18490
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Pizza guy
Hey. Sixty-three fifty, and that's not including tip.
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18491
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Michael
Right, I have a coupon, so half of sixty-three fifty, and half the tip of sixty-three fifty.
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18492
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Pizza guy
The half off coupon only applies to orders of two pizzas.
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18493
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Michael
Yeah, I told them on the phone that I was ordering eight pizzas.
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18494
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Pizza guy
I don't care what you told them on the phone, that's our policy.
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18495
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Michael
You didn't actually think I was going to spend sixty bucks on pizza?
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18496
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Oscar
It's not pizza.
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18497
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Michael
Okay, it doesn't say it anywhere on the coupon, and if it's policy, it should say it on the coupon.
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18498
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Pizza guy
[shrugs]
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18499
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Michael
What do you mean hmm-um?
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18500
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Pizza guy
Not my problem.
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18501
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Michael
It is your problem. That's no way to do business, okay? I ordered eight pizzas with a half-off coupon, so I would like eight pizzas for half-off. End of story.
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18502
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Pizza guy
Great story. It's sixty-three fifty, and that's not including tip.
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18503
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Michael
I'm not giving that to you.
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18504
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Pizza guy
Well then you're not getting you're pizzas.
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18505
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Michael
No, no you're not going anywhere. You're staying here until we figure this out.
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18506
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Pizza guy
What?
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18507
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Michael
You know what? This young man needs to learn that's not how you treat people. I don't care if it's pizza. Good business is about respect and accountability and follow through. You don't just make promises and pull the rug out from under somebody, do you? Dwight, please escort this young man into the conference room. Right now, get in the conference room.
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18508
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Pizza guy
I'm not going in there.
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18509
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Michael
Yes you are, yes you are, and you will come out when you decide to give me a discount on the pizza. Please, thank you.
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18510
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Pizza guy
This is stupid.
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18511
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Michael
No, you don't even know what stupid is. It's about to get all stupid up in here.
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18512
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Stanley
You find anything?
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18513
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Kevin
We think it's a straight forward kidnapping.
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18514
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Oscar
Stanley, could you look up 'accomplices'?
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18515
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Stanley
Why can't you guys do it?
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18516
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Oscar
Because we're looking up jail time.
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18517
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Stanley
Fine.
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18518
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Dwight
I've seen this kid before. He's one the kids who sneaks on my farm and steals my hemp.
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18519
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Pizza guy
Yeah, I know that guy. He's that farmer that grows really crappy weed.
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18520
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Michael
You ready to give me my discount now?
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18521
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Pizza guy
No.
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18522
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Michael
Okay, what have you been doing in here this whole time?
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18523
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Pizza guy
What kind of business is this?
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18524
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Dwight
We're a paper company. The best paper company in the whole wide world.
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18525
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Michael
Alright, Dwight, knock it off. You better think about what you are doing young man.
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18526
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Pizza guy
You better think about what you're doing.
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18527
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Michael
No! I'm an adult, I don't have to think or do anything. You're a kid, a little snot-nosed, punk kid who thinks he's better than everyone else, because he's some hot shot, and you don't know anything about sales. So stop being a disrespectful little jerk, okay?
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18528
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Pizza guy
Sales?
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18529
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Michael
Yeah sales, you sell pizza. Last time I checked that's called sales.
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18530
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Pizza guy
You're such a loser.
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18531
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Dwight
What did you just call him?
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18532
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Pizza guy
A loser.
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18533
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Dwight
What did you say?
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18534
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Pizza guy
A loser.
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18535
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Michael
Alright stop, stop making him say it! You just made this worse, a whole lot worse.
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18536
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Dwight
I can make him talk, Michael.
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18537
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All
Michael, Michael
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18538
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Michael
Stop talking all at once!
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18539
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Jim
You need to let him go.
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18540
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Michael
Let go of the little jerk boy before he has learned his lesson?
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18541
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Jim
Yes.
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18542
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Michael
You know what Jim, the world would be a better place if people were held accountable for their actions.
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18543
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Jim
Yes, but not by kidnapping.
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18544
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Michael
I'm not kidnapping him, I'm keeping him until I get what I want.
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18545
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Jim
As a hostage.
Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18546