Michael

And the same thing goes for quarterly reports. They are unreadable. They're just numbers and boring and blech. So what I was thinking is that maybe we should have some sort of graphic, like if we have a bad quarter, put in a storm cloud? And... when we have a good quarter, fireworks? Or a racecar? Doesn't have to be a racecar. Use your imagination.

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18147

Jim

There's this cube on the screen, and it bounces around all day, and sometimes it looks like it's heading right into the corner of the screen, and at the last minute it hits a wall and bounces away. And we are all just dying to see it go right into the corner. Pam claims that she saw it one day when she was alone in the conference room. Okay. I believe she thinks she saw it.

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18148

Pam

I saw it. I saw it, and it was amazing! Who said I didn't see it? Did Jim say that I didn't see it? I saw it!

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18149

Michael

We have a lot of colored paper here... why oh why do we keep printing this on white?

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18150

Andy

Dah! Come on!

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18151

Michael

Yeah! I know. I know. It's bland.

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18152

Oscar

It's never gonna happen.

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18153

Kevin

Dude, you gotta believe.

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18154

Michael

Maybe, we could have some sort of riddle?

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18155

Jim

Wait for it.

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18156

Michael

Like, something that you have to look for. Sort of a 'Where's Waldo.'

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18157

Everyone

Oh! Yes!

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18158

Michael

Alright. Alright. Let's quit while we're ahead.

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18159

Kevin

That was so awesome.

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18160

Michael

That was awesome. Thank you.

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18161

Michael

Some days I am just on fire. What can I say?

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18162

Meredith

Hey... there he is.

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18163

Jim

Hey Meredith, how you feelin'?

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18164

Meredith

I never thanked you for coming to the hospital.

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18165

Jim

Oh, please, it was my pleasure. Well we all came, so...

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18166

Meredith

Well, I really appreciate you coming. I'm singling you ouuuut.

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18167

Jim

Haha...

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18168

Meredith

Anyway, I have this Sharpie...

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18169

Jim

Uh-huh.

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18170

Meredith

And I was wondering if you could sign my cast?

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18171

Jim

MmmHmm...

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18172

Meredith

Can you write where I can read it?

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18173

Jim

Oh yeah.

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18174

Meredith

I'll read this when I get home.

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18175

Jim

Alright...

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18176

Pam

Michael? This is the press release I was telling you about. Ryan wants you to share it with everyone.

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18177

Michael

Oh, does he?

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18178

Pam

He does.

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18179

Michael

Mmmmmm. Okay. Attention. Earthlings. I have some news. Beep beep beep beep, beep beep beep beep beep, beep beep beep beep beep, beep beep beep beep beep, beep beep beep beep. Okay. Today is the big day that I am heading to New York to attend a party with sushi and important people. On an unrelated note, if anyone has an interesting anectdote that is not boring and easy to memorize please drop by my office before I leave. Thank you.

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18180

Jim

Whoops. Is that really what Ryan wanted you to tell us?

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18181

Michael

And... today the Dunder-Mifflin Infinity website officially launches.

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18182

Michael

Well the website is the brain-child of my brain-child, Ryan. It is my brain-grandchild. And, uh, to celebrate it's birth, all of the different branches are going to have satellite parties, which will be connected via web-cams and fibers to the real party, which is going on in New York City at uh, a very exclusive nightclub, and that is where all of the VIP's, including yours truly, will be partying with uh New York City's finest, and I do not mean policemen...

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18183

Michael

The company is projecting record high sales, and that by 6:00 the website will be the new best salesman in the company. Wow! Watch out Dwight.

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18184

Dwight

That's ridiculous. I'm not going to be beaten by a website.

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18185

Jim

Actually it sounds like you are.

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18186

Dwight

Really? 'Cause Ryan says so?

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18187

Kelly

If that's from Ryan, does it mention if he's seeing anybody?

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18188

Michael

No. It doesn't. I'll find out tonight.

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18189

Stanley

Yes, please let us know.

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18190

Dwight

I can make more sales than a computer. In fact, I challenge that website to make more sales than me today.

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18191

Angela

Waste of time.

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18192

Michael

What's that, pipsqueak?

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18193

Angela

Waste of time. The website's going to win.

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18194

Dwight

You believe a computer can beat me?

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18195

Angela

I don't care, but yes.

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18196

Dwight

Well I will prove you wrong.

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18197

Angela

I don't care, and you won't.

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18198

Dwight

We'll see.

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18199

Angela

I won't be watching, and I won't.

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18200

Pam

Dwight mercy killed Angela's cat. It's very complicated. It's caused a lot of unpleasantness between Dwight and Angela. Who are both already prone to unpleasantness.

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18201

Phyllis

Stanley, you're dancing!

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18202

Stanley

No I'm not.

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18203

Ryan

Yeah. I created a website. Look, at the end of the day, apples apples flying at 30,000 feet. This is a paper company and I don't want us to get lost in the weeds or into a beauty contest.

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18204

Voice of Thomas Dean

I told you I don't want you doing these things in here. You can use your own office or do it in the hall.

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18205

Ryan

Convergence. Viral marketing. We're going guerrilla. We're takin' it to the streets while keeping an eye on the street. Wall Street. I don't want to reinvent the wheel here. In other words, it is what it is. Buyin' paper just became fun.

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18206

Andy

And this is where I will record your sales.

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18207

Dwight

Hmm. Very nice. Very nice.

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18208

Andy

And then I will say something positive, like kudos or job well done.

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18209

Jim

Or zipadeedoodaah.

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18210

Andy

I can't tell if he's mocking me.

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18211

Dwight

Just ignore him.

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18212

Andy

Ehh, can't do that. Really hard for me to let things go.

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18213

Jim

I was... mocking.

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18214

Andy

Thank you.

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18215

Dwight

I just feel like we need something more to acknowledge when I make a sale.

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18216

Andy

Yes like a chime or a bell...

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18217

Jim

Or a gong.

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18218

Dwight

Go to my car. Open the trunk. Inside you will see many pelts. Under the smallest one is a case. Inside that case is a bear horn. Bring it to me.

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18219

Andy

Yes!

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18220

Kevin

Isn't 7 pm a little late for a lunch party?

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18221

Angela

Lunch party? It's supposed to say launch party! What is wrong with you?

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18222

Phyllis

Angela is worse than usual lately, and we have a party to throw. So I Googled how to deal with difficult people, and I got all of this. So we're gonna try out some new things today.

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18223

Phyllis

So how do you feel about the fact that the banner says lunch?

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18224

Angela

I feel angry. Angry at you. Angry at you for doing something stupid. Angry at me for believing you could do something not stupid.

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18225

Phyllis

I'm so sorry to hear that, that must be awful.

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18226

Angela

It is awful. You've made this day awful!

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18227

Kevin

Maybe you could just change the U into an A.

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18228

Angela

Then it would say lanch party, Kevin. Would it really be better if it said lanch party?

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18229

Michael

Ohh, lunch party.

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18230

Angela

It's supposed to say launch!

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18231

Michael

Okay, wow! Easy, booster seat, nobody cares about this party anyway.

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18232

Angela

I care!

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18233

Angela

Plan a party, Angela. Oh! And the entire world will see it. Oh! And here's $65.00 for your budget. Oh and here are four idiots who'll do nothing but weigh you down. Oh. And your cat's still dead.

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18234

Andy

Twenty seconds to go time.

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18235

Dwight

Got it. Carb up.

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18236

Jim

Really? Power gel?

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18237

Dwight

Hey, you wanna win? You gotta fuel like a winner.

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18238

Andy

Okay. We start. As soon as I make... this shot. Aaannnddd go!

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18239

Dwight

Uhyeaahhh! Hello, Susan? Dwight Schrute.

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18240

Jim

What would you say if I told you we could pull a prank on Dwight and at the same time not be working?

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18241

Dwight

Today I'm prepared to give you 15% off our normal prices.

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18242

Jim

What?

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18243

Pam

He's going through a break-up.

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18244

Jim

Yeah, I'm aware of that. But he's also being super annoying. And I'm not a perfect person.

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18245

Andy

Yeah!

Season 4 · Episode 3 · Line 18246

"Launch Party" Quotes