Every line from The Office season 4, episode 1, in script order. First aired September 27, 2007.
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Pam
Alright, I will get a card at the hospital and we'll sign it outside her room.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17072
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Michael
Pam.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17073
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Pam
Sales people can go later in the day. Hourly works can go at lunch.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17074
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Michael
Ok, good good, so we'll just all go down there together at lunch.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17075
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Pam
I...
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17076
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Michael
Excellent!
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17077
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Pam
I was thinking that we...
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17078
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Michael
Good work Pam.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17079
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Pam
But...
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17080
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Michael
Yaaaaaay, Pam! Alright, since I am the boss I will drive as well. Who wants shotgun?
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17081
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Stanley
You can't be serious. You ran a woman over this morning.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17082
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Michael
Everyone inside the car was fine, Stanley!
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17083
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Michael
Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me... No, don't sue me. That is the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17084
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Michael
Eww. I hate hospitals. In my mind they are associated with sickness. Oh... She looks like an angel.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17085
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Kelly
She looks awful.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17086
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Michael
No... OK, she always looks like that... That is not my fault.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17087
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Jim
I think she's awake.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17088
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Michael
No... She's in a coma.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17089
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Nurse
No.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17090
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Michael
OK... Meredith, Ooooohhhhh. I brought all your friends from the office dear.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17091
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Meredith
At the same time.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17092
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Michael
Yeah.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17093
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Stanley
Hello Meredith.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17094
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Meredith
This is weird.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17095
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Michael
Brought you some balloons. Why don't we... here you go. Tie these up, cheer up your tubes... Oh! Shhhh... For God's sake!
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17096
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Kevin
Whoa!
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17097
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Michael
Nurse.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17098
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Meredith
No don't bother the nurse, just put it back in.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17099
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Michael
I am going to be sick... I'm gonna puke.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17100
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Jim
I wouldn't... I wouldn't worry about it. Don't touch it.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17101
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Nurse
What, what are you doing? Just gimme that.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17102
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Meredith
Thanks.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17103
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Kevin
[applauds]
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17104
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Phyllis
Does it hurt terribly?
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17105
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Meredith
No, it's not too bad. They have me on a lot of painkillers.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17106
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Creed
Oh really, what kind? Codeine, Vicodin, Percocet, Fentanyl, Oxycontin, Palladone? What...
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17107
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Meredith
I have no idea.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17108
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Creed
Oh.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17109
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Meredith
Well it was really great of all of you to come and visit me at the same time. I'll see you guys at the office.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17110
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Michael
Oh, OK... Wait up, wait up, guys guys guys, hold on a second. You know what I was thinking might be sort of fun? Is if you forgave me in front of everybody.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17111
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Meredith
Michael, I'm not gonna do that.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17112
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Michael
Cause you know what they say in the Bible about forgiveness? Forgiveness is next to Godliness.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17113
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Angela
No, that's not. That's next to cleanliness.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17114
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Michael
Well, just shhhh... just just...
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17115
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Meredith
You cracked my pelvis
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17116
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Michael
Look, I just... I don't understand what is preventing you from laughing this off and giving me a big hug.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17117
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Meredith
You're not forgiven.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17118
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Michael
Come on. [starts to climb onto the bed with meredith.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17119
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Pam
Michael! Michael!
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17120
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Meredith
[screams]
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17121
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Michael
Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked. But it's not like a compulsive need to be liked. Like my need to be praised.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17122
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Angela
Hey.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17123
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Dwight
Hey monkey.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17124
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Angela
Any problems?
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17125
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Dwight
Well you left the TV on, and your cat is dead.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17126
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Angela
What!?
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17127
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Dwight
Sparkles, the white one, is dead.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17128
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Angela
Sprinkles.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17129
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Dwight
That was the sick one, right?
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17130
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Angela
Uh-huh. But I thought she had more time.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17131
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Dwight
No.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17132
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Angela
Did she look... When you saw her how was she looking?
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17133
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Dwight
Really dead. Like a... just a dead cat.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17134
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Angela
[sobbing]
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17135
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Dwight
So... Hey come on, don't be sad, just... OK... just. She's in a better place.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17136
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Angela
Alright.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17137
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Dwight
Actually the place that she's in is the freezer, because of the odor.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17138
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Angela
[still sobbing]
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17139
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Pam
It's gonna be OK.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17140
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Michael
OK, you know what? Everybody, let's just get over the whole Meredith thing. She cracked her pelvis, a tiny little crack. She going to be fine, so let's just...
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17141
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Pam
Michael, Angela's cat died.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17142
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Michael
Sprinkles?
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17143
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Angela
[nods]
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17144
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Michael
Oh, sh... I'm sorry Angela. Man what a day huh? How could it get any worse? Her computer crashes with the porn, and then Meredith with the accident, and then... Sprinkles! God, that's 3 things. I'll tell you what's going on. This office is cursed, and we need to do something about it.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17145
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Michael
Well, I am taking responsibility. It is up to me to get rid of the curse that hit Meredith with my car. I'm not superstitious, but... I'm... I am a little-stitious.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17146
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Michael
Did anyone do anything involving an Indian burial ground?
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17147
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Oscar
Like what?
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17148
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Michael
Like park on it. Or dig up a body... Toby? Anything you want to tell us?
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17149
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Toby
No, I did not violate an Indian burial ground. In fact I had some good luck recently, Alfredo's Pizza, picked my business card out of the basket, so... uh, I got a week of free pies.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17150
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Pam
That's cool.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17151
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Toby
Yeah.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17152
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Michael
Perfect. So our tragedy is your good luck. Satan.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17153
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Angela
Sprinkles never hurt a soul. God in your infinite wisdom how could you do this? She wasn't ready. She had so much left to accomplish.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17154
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Dwight
She's only a cat.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17155
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Angela
You never... you don't like them.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17156
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Dwight
Cats do not provide milk or wool or meat.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17157
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Oscar
Dwight please!
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17158
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Michael
Dwight, you haven't seen Meredith yet, have you?
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17159
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Dwight
No, I have not.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17160
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Michael
Well, I think you should go to the hospital, and pay your respects.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17161
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Dwight
I do not respect her, but I will go.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17162
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Michael
Alright, I would now like to talk about each of your individual religious beliefs.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17163
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Toby
Oh, Michael, you can't ask about religious beliefs...
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17164
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Michael
Satan is a master of lies. Everything he says is the opposite.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17165
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Toby
Alright, well then you can ask about religious beliefs.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17166
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Michael
Thank you for the permission. Psych! Alright let's just go around the room, and tell me what you believe in.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17167
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Stanley
I'm... um, Catholic.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17168
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Michael
OK.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17169
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Darryl
Presbyterian.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17170
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Michael
Alright.
Season 4 · Episode 1 · Line 17171