Every line from The Office season 4, episode 14, in script order. First aired May 15, 2008.
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Michael
Oh, hey, do you still work here?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22097
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Toby
I'd like to introduce you to my replacement.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22098
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Michael
Nah.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22099
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Toby
Come on.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22100
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Michael
No. I think I will pass.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22101
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Toby
Michael Scott, this is Holly.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22102
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Holly
Hi.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22103
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Michael
Hi. Yeah. Right. Okay, well, they hired a female Toby. Good for the world. Thank you, God, for creating two of you. Here's how things work here: my job is to make the office fun. Your job is to make the office lame. And we have an eternal struggle, you and I. And only one of us can be the winner. Spoiler alert: I'm gonna win.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22104
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Holly
Man, someone doesn't like H.R.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22105
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Michael
Yeah.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22106
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Holly
What did you do to him?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22107
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Toby
Nothing.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22108
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Michael
T-No. He tortured me... with his awfulness.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22109
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Holly
Yeah, I know what you mean. I nearly fell asleep when he gave me a tour of the files. Um, well look, I'll let you get back to work, but I-I really look forward to working with you, Mr. Scott.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22110
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Michael
Y-You can-Michael.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22111
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Michael
Thanks to Toby, I have a very strong prejudice against Human Resources. I believe that the department is a breeding ground for monsters. What I failed to consider though, is that not all monsters are bad. Like E.T. Is Holly our extraterrestrial? Maybe. Or maybe she's just an awesome woman from this planet.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22112
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Creed
The pleasure's all mine.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22113
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Holly
Oh, thanks. I'm really looking forward to sitting down with you and finding out more about what you do here.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22114
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Creed
Any time.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22115
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Holly
What do you do here?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22116
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Creed
...Excuse me.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22117
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Creed
What is wrong with this woman? She's asking about stuff that's nobody's business. 'What do I do?'... Really, what do I do here? I should've written it down. 'Qua' something, uh... qua... quar... quibo, qual...quir-quabity. Quabity assuance! No. No, no, no, no, but I'm getting close.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22118
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Dwight
Have you been introduced to Kevin?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22119
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Holly
No. Which one's Kevin?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22120
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Dwight
He's here on a special work program. He's slow, you know, in his brain.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22121
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Holly
Oh. Good for you guys.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22122
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Dwight
Yeah.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22123
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Dwight
Hazing is a fun way to show a new employee that she is not welcome or liked.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22124
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Dwight
Accounting department, listen up. Holly, Human Resources. Angela, Oscar, and Kevin.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22125
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Holly
Hello. Hello. Hi.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22126
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Kevin
Hi.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22127
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Holly
What do you do?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22128
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Kevin
I do the numbers.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22129
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Holly
Oh, good for you.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22130
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Kevin
Do you want a M&M?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22131
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Holly
Oh, no, that is so sweet. But thank you though.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22132
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Kevin
Yeah. I keep them here at my desk so that everybody doesn't take them.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22133
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Holly
Well that is a very safe place for them.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22134
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Kevin
Yeah.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22135
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Michael
Here she is! Holly... You know, if we hung Holly from the ceiling, we'd have to kiss underneath of her. So-I know. Oh, sorry. Question, are you real, or are you a Hollygram?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22136
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Holly
Oh... Nice, I've never heard that one before actually.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22137
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Michael
I bet.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22138
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Holly
That's good.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22139
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Michael
I bet. Are these guys boring your ears off?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22140
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Holly
No, no, I...
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22141
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Michael
Oh... What, um, what is your commute like? How long does it take to get in?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22142
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Holly
Ooh, uh...
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22143
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Michael
You know, I should make you a mix. Do you have a, uh, a CD player?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22144
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Holly
Um... Y-yeah. Okay.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22145
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Michael
All right.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22146
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Holly
Thanks.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22147
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Michael
Yep.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22148
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Holly
Great.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22149
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Pam
Do you like it? It's a photo of everyone in the office. So you can take it to Costa Rica.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22150
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Toby
You're-you're not in it.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22151
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Pam
Well I was taking the picture.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22152
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Toby
I love it. I love it... I would love a picture of the two of us, to also take to Costa Rica.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22153
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Pam
Sure, do you have a camera here?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22154
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Toby
No, uh... Does anyone have a camera here? No one has a camera here. Uh...
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22155
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Pam
Okay...
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22156
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Toby
I'm gonna... I'll go get one. Stay.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22157
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Jim
So I just got the fax closing the sale, and uh, it's big. It is really big.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22158
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Ryan
Congratulations!
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22159
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Jim
Thanks.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22160
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Ryan
Don't interrupt.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22161
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Jim
I just-
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22162
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Ryan
Congratulations on doing your job. Did you enter the sale on the website?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22163
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Jim
No, I didn't. I just logged it in right here, so...
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22164
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Ryan
All right, try to be a team player here, Jim. Log it in the website.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22165
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Jim
All right, well it already went through, so...
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22166
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Ryan
Don't worry about that. Just re-log it.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22167
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Jim
Hello?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22168
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Michael
Hmm... Jim? I am downloading some N3P...
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22169
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Jim
That's not it.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22170
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Michael
Music...
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22171
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Jim
Yeah.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22172
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Michael
For a CD mix tape...
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22173
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Jim
Close.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22174
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Michael
For Holly.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22175
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Jim
Mmhmm.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22176
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Michael
And I'm looking for perfect songs that work on two levels.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22177
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Jim
What are the two levels?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22178
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Michael
The two levels being, uh, 'Welcome to Scranton'...
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22179
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Jim
Mmhmm.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22180
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Michael
And 'I... love you.'
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22181
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Jim
Okay. Let's start with the 'I love you' level.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22182
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Michael
Hey, what's the group that was from Scranton that made it big? Was that U2?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22183
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Jim
Yes. You don't love Holly.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22184
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Michael
I think I do.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22185
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Jim
But you just met her.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22186
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Michael
Well, it was love at first sight. Actually, it was-no, it was when I heard her voice. It was love at first see with my ears.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22187
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Jim
Oh, okay, it doesn't work like that.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22188
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Michael
Well, you're not a romantic.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22189
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Jim
Actually, I think I am. And I have a little bit of experience in office romance.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22190
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Michael
Oh really?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22191
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Jim
Yeah.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22192
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Michael
Like, with who?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22193
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Jim
We've been through this.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22194
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Michael
Pam?
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22195
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Jim
Yes, we are still dating. And guess what? I took it slow.
Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22196