Every line from The Office season 3, episode 8, in script order. First aired November 16, 2006.
-
Michael
That's it!
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11752
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Andy
What is love?
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11753
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Michael
Yes, yes! Okay!
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11754
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Andy
Baby, don't hurt me.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11755
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Michael
Okay, here we go.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11756
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Andy & Michael
Don't hurt me! Baby, don't hurt me!
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11757
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Michael
Oh!
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11758
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Andy
Baby, don't hurt me!
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11759
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Michael
Oh! Oh! Oh!
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11760
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Andy
Whoa-oh-oh-oh
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11761
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Michael
Scuse me! Scuse me!
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11762
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Andy & Michael
Whoa-oh-oh-oh! Whoa-oh-oh...
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11763
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Michael
You me? You me? Me you? You! You! You me! Bow Bow Bow!
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11764
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Andy
Whoa-oh-oh-oh.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11765
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Michael
You me? You me? Me you me! You! You! You me you! You! Oh my nose is so itchy, why's my nose so itchy!
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11766
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Andy
Oh, probably because of all the nose candy.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11767
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Michael
Okay, I told you these guys had a sense of humor.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11768
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Dwight
Very funny, Michael!
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11769
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Michael
Okay! Okay!
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11770
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Dwight
Really funny, Michael!
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11771
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Michael
All right, all right, I'm on a roll.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11772
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Michael
Why are the new people on the table? To show them that we are not above them.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11773
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Karen
Shouldn't we be equals?
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11774
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Michael
Not today. No. Tony! Please join your cohorts on the table if you would.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11775
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Tony
Uh... this is difficult, for me.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11776
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Michael
I understand. We're all friends.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11777
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Tony
No. I mean I can't physically. I can't get on the table.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11778
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Michael
Oh, well. Just use the momentum of your lower half to hoist yourself up.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11779
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Tony
[starts to climb table]
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11780
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Michael
You know what? I'll help. I will...
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11781
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Tony
No, please. No.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11782
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Michael
Don't be shy! Dwight! Let's do this!
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11783
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Dwight
Do this. Come on. Ready?
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11784
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Michael
Come on. We're doing this thing! Let's get up.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11785
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Dwight
On three. One... two... three.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11786
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Michael
Bend at the knees. Okay, here we go. Here we go. I'm under this... I'm under this hock here. I don't know what I'm grabbing here.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11787
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Tony
All right. All right. Stop. Put me down.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11788
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Michael
We've almost got it. Push it! Push it!
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11789
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Tony
Let me go!
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11790
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Michael
I'm right in your crack!
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11791
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Tony
Put me down right...
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11792
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Michael
Up and over.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11793
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Tony
Put me down!
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11794
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Michael
Up and over.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11795
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Tony
Put me down right now!
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11796
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Michael
You've got it.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11797
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Tony
I'VE HAD ENOUGH!
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11798
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Michael
You've got it, you've got it.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11799
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Tony
PUT ME DOWN RIGHT NOW or else!
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11800
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Michael
Whoa Whoa Whoa! Okay.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11801
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Dwight
Hey, hey. Easy.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11802
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Michael
Easy.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11803
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Tony
I'm sorry!
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11804
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Michael
Don't...
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11805
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Tony
It's just not going to work for me.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11806
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Michael
What...
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11807
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Tony
I have to go.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11808
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Michael
I don't understand.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11809
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Tony
I was on the fence about this and... it's just not a good fit.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11810
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Michael
Well, we'll squeeze you in.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11811
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Tony
I can't work here. I have to quit.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11812
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Michael
You can't quit! On the first day. That's heresy, my friend! Okay, let's talk about this. What happened? I mean, what... Was it Toby? Did he say something? Cause he's... what?
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11813
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Tony
No. Toby was helpful. He was very kind. It's just your management style.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11814
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Michael
My management style? So... didn't you think 'Lazy Scranton' was funny?
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11815
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Tony
No. Was it supposed to be funny?
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11816
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Michael
Okay. Well, don't bother quitting because you're fired.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11817
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Tony
Excuse me?
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11818
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Michael
You are fired! I'm sorry, but we don't have quitters on this team! Just clean out your desk!
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11819
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Tony
But there's nothing in my desk except coupons.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11820
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Michael
Don't try to apologize to me, man! It's too late. Just get out! Take your bad vibes with you.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11821
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Dwight
That was my advice. Remember? I'm the one who suggested that you fire him.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11822
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Michael
Probably the best advice you ever gave me, Dwight.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11823
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Dwight
And what advice has Andy given to you today that you have acted on? Would 'none' be an accurate estimate? None advice? Fire Andy. Fire. Andy.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11824
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Andy
Dwight may have won the battle. But I will win... the next battle.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11825
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Hannah
Tony was right. This environment is dysfunctional.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11826
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Angela
Maybe that's because some people treat it like their own private Hooters strip club.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11827
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Michael
Whoa, Angela! Hold on. Hooters is a restaurant. With over 400 locations worldwide.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11828
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Stanley
Back to work. We don't have to get along. We just have to work together.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11829
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Michael
No. We do have to get along. Can't we all just get along? Or have we forgotten the words of the Reverend King.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11830
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Michael
The word merger comes from the word marriage. And that was what today was supposed to be. The loving union between people. Instead, it has become like when my Mom moved in with Jeff. And once again, it becomes my job to fix it.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11831
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Michael
Hey! Hey, everybody! Something happened! Those guys from Vance Refrigeration, they let the air out of our tires.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11832
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Dwight
What!
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11833
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Michael
Yeah! They punk'd us! They punk'd us good! Come on. Come on!
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11834
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Karen
Does Bob Vance work for Vance Refrigeration?
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11835
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Jim
Does he ever.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11836
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Michael
Man, they got us so bad. We cannot let them get away with this. We have got to pull together as one and steal their refrigerators.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11837
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Dwight
YEAH!
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11838
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Michael
Yeah.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11839
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Toby
I don't... I don't think we can do that.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11840
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Michael
Go home, Toby. Just...
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11841
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Martin
Hey! Why doesn't your car have a flat tire?
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11842
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Michael
Why? I will tell you why. Because they saved the worst for me. They put a hate note under my windshield wiper. Check this out. It's so hateful. 'You guys SUCK! You can never pull together as one and revenge us. That is why you SUCK!'
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11843
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Hannah
For crying out loud.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11844
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Michael
No. No, no, no. No. You are falling for it. You're playing right into their hands. This is just what they want you to do. Don't, oh...
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11845
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Martin
What's up with this guy?
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11846
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Stanley
Got an hour? I'll try to explain.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11847
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Michael
THIS IS EGREGIOUS! This is egregious!
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11848
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Stanley
Trust me. It only gets worse.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11849
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Martin
Is he always like this?
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11850
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Ryan
Sometimes he brings more costumes.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11851