Every quote from The Office season 3, episode 8, in script order. First aired November 16, 2006.
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Michael
That's it!
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11752
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Andy
What is love?
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11753
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Michael
Yes, yes! Okay!
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11754
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Andy
Baby, don't hurt me.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11755
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Michael
Okay, here we go.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11756
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Andy & Michael
Don't hurt me! Baby, don't hurt me!
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11757
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Michael
Oh!
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11758
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Andy
Baby, don't hurt me!
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11759
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Michael
Oh! Oh! Oh!
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11760
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Andy
Whoa-oh-oh-oh
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11761
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Michael
Scuse me! Scuse me!
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11762
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Andy & Michael
Whoa-oh-oh-oh! Whoa-oh-oh...
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11763
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Michael
You me? You me? Me you? You! You! You me! Bow Bow Bow!
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11764
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Andy
Whoa-oh-oh-oh.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11765
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Michael
You me? You me? Me you me! You! You! You me you! You! Oh my nose is so itchy, why's my nose so itchy!
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11766
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Andy
Oh, probably because of all the nose candy.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11767
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Michael
Okay, I told you these guys had a sense of humor.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11768
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Dwight
Very funny, Michael!
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11769
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Michael
Okay! Okay!
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11770
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Dwight
Really funny, Michael!
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11771
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Michael
All right, all right, I'm on a roll.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11772
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Michael
Why are the new people on the table? To show them that we are not above them.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11773
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Karen
Shouldn't we be equals?
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11774
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Michael
Not today. No. Tony! Please join your cohorts on the table if you would.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11775
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Tony
Uh... this is difficult, for me.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11776
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Michael
I understand. We're all friends.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11777
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Tony
No. I mean I can't physically. I can't get on the table.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11778
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Michael
Oh, well. Just use the momentum of your lower half to hoist yourself up.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11779
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Tony
[starts to climb table]
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11780
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Michael
You know what? I'll help. I will...
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11781
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Tony
No, please. No.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11782
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Michael
Don't be shy! Dwight! Let's do this!
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11783
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Dwight
Do this. Come on. Ready?
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11784
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Michael
Come on. We're doing this thing! Let's get up.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11785
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Dwight
On three. One... two... three.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11786
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Michael
Bend at the knees. Okay, here we go. Here we go. I'm under this... I'm under this hock here. I don't know what I'm grabbing here.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11787
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Tony
All right. All right. Stop. Put me down.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11788
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Michael
We've almost got it. Push it! Push it!
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11789
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Tony
Let me go!
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11790
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Michael
I'm right in your crack!
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11791
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Tony
Put me down right...
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11792
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Michael
Up and over.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11793
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Tony
Put me down!
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11794
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Michael
Up and over.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11795
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Tony
Put me down right now!
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11796
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Michael
You've got it.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11797
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Tony
I'VE HAD ENOUGH!
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11798
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Michael
You've got it, you've got it.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11799
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Tony
PUT ME DOWN RIGHT NOW or else!
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11800
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Michael
Whoa Whoa Whoa! Okay.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11801
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Dwight
Hey, hey. Easy.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11802
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Michael
Easy.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11803
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Tony
I'm sorry!
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11804
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Michael
Don't...
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11805
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Tony
It's just not going to work for me.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11806
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Michael
What...
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11807
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Tony
I have to go.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11808
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Michael
I don't understand.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11809
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Tony
I was on the fence about this and... it's just not a good fit.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11810
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Michael
Well, we'll squeeze you in.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11811
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Tony
I can't work here. I have to quit.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11812
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Michael
You can't quit! On the first day. That's heresy, my friend! Okay, let's talk about this. What happened? I mean, what... Was it Toby? Did he say something? Cause he's... what?
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11813
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Tony
No. Toby was helpful. He was very kind. It's just your management style.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11814
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Michael
My management style? So... didn't you think 'Lazy Scranton' was funny?
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11815
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Tony
No. Was it supposed to be funny?
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11816
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Michael
Okay. Well, don't bother quitting because you're fired.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11817
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Tony
Excuse me?
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11818
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Michael
You are fired! I'm sorry, but we don't have quitters on this team! Just clean out your desk!
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11819
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Tony
But there's nothing in my desk except coupons.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11820
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Michael
Don't try to apologize to me, man! It's too late. Just get out! Take your bad vibes with you.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11821
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Dwight
That was my advice. Remember? I'm the one who suggested that you fire him.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11822
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Michael
Probably the best advice you ever gave me, Dwight.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11823
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Dwight
And what advice has Andy given to you today that you have acted on? Would 'none' be an accurate estimate? None advice? Fire Andy. Fire. Andy.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11824
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Andy
Dwight may have won the battle. But I will win... the next battle.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11825
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Hannah
Tony was right. This environment is dysfunctional.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11826
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Angela
Maybe that's because some people treat it like their own private Hooters strip club.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11827
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Michael
Whoa, Angela! Hold on. Hooters is a restaurant. With over 400 locations worldwide.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11828
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Stanley
Back to work. We don't have to get along. We just have to work together.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11829
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Michael
No. We do have to get along. Can't we all just get along? Or have we forgotten the words of the Reverend King.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11830
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Michael
The word merger comes from the word marriage. And that was what today was supposed to be. The loving union between people. Instead, it has become like when my Mom moved in with Jeff. And once again, it becomes my job to fix it.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11831
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Michael
Hey! Hey, everybody! Something happened! Those guys from Vance Refrigeration, they let the air out of our tires.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11832
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Dwight
What!
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11833
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Michael
Yeah! They punk'd us! They punk'd us good! Come on. Come on!
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11834
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Karen
Does Bob Vance work for Vance Refrigeration?
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11835
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Jim
Does he ever.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11836
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Michael
Man, they got us so bad. We cannot let them get away with this. We have got to pull together as one and steal their refrigerators.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11837
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Dwight
YEAH!
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11838
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Michael
Yeah.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11839
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Toby
I don't... I don't think we can do that.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11840
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Michael
Go home, Toby. Just...
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11841
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Martin
Hey! Why doesn't your car have a flat tire?
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11842
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Michael
Why? I will tell you why. Because they saved the worst for me. They put a hate note under my windshield wiper. Check this out. It's so hateful. 'You guys SUCK! You can never pull together as one and revenge us. That is why you SUCK!'
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11843
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Hannah
For crying out loud.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11844
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Michael
No. No, no, no. No. You are falling for it. You're playing right into their hands. This is just what they want you to do. Don't, oh...
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11845
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Martin
What's up with this guy?
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11846
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Stanley
Got an hour? I'll try to explain.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11847
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Michael
THIS IS EGREGIOUS! This is egregious!
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11848
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Stanley
Trust me. It only gets worse.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11849
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Martin
Is he always like this?
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11850
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Ryan
Sometimes he brings more costumes.
Season 3 · Episode 8 · Quote 11851