"The Merger" Quotes (page 2)

Every line from The Office season 3, episode 8, in script order. First aired November 16, 2006.

584 quotes · page 2 of 6

  1. Martin

    ...which is why they need a passing game.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11552

  2. Jim

    Right.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11553

  3. Michael

    No way. Get him out of here. We don't want any of this kind in here. Good to see you, man.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11554

  4. Jim

    Okay.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11555

  5. Michael

    How are you? Martin Nash, I presume? This is a little gift bag for you.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11556

  6. Martin

    Oh! Thanks.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11557

  7. Michael

    Free of charge. Follow me, I will show you where all the slaves work. Not... so, your desk is...

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11558

  8. Jim

    Hi, I'm Jim. I'm new here.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11559

  9. Pam

    Oh my god! It's really you!

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11560

  10. Jim

    Yeah, I was just doing a little joke there about how we'd never met...

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11561

  11. Pam

    I know. I don't care.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11562

  12. Jim

    Awesome! Good to be back. The place looks really good.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11563

  13. Pam

    It's really good to see you.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11564

  14. Jim

    You, too.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11565

  15. Jim

    Where do I stand with Pam? Um... no idea. I mean, we're friends. Always have been friends. Um... .that is where we stand.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11566

  16. Dwight

    Well, well, well. Look what the cat dragged in from Stamford.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11567

  17. Jim

    Hey, Dwight.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11568

  18. Dwight

    Fact - I am older. I am wiser. Do not mess with me.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11569

  19. Jim

    Okay. Sounds good.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11570

  20. Dwight

    What are you doing?

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11571

  21. Jim

    I don't know what you're talking about.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11572

  22. Dwight

    I have a smudge on my forehead?

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11573

  23. Jim

    No. Looks good.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11574

  24. Dwight

    Why are you looking at my forehead?

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11575

  25. Jim

    I'm not.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11576

  26. Dwight

    Meet my eye line, Jim!

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11577

  27. Jim

    I am.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11578

  28. Dwight

    Stop acting like an idiot!

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11579

  29. Jim

    Okay.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11580

  30. Ryan

    Hey, buddy. Welcome back.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11581

  31. Jim

    Hey! How are you man? Good to see... you.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11582

  32. Ryan

    I'm good! How are you? So...

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11583

  33. Jim

    Oh, I'm sorry. Are you sitting here now?

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11584

  34. Ryan

    Yeah.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11585

  35. Jim

    Oh.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11586

  36. Ryan

    Um... unless you really, really want it back.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11587

  37. Jim

    You know, man, it's really you're call.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11588

  38. Ryan

    Cool, thank you.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11589

  39. Jim

    Let me get that for you.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11590

  40. Ryan

    Yuh.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11591

  41. Jim

    This one taken? No. Good.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11592

  42. Ryan

    Yeah. Jim is a nice guy. That's why I got the desk.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11593

  43. Toby

    Hey, this came with the Stamford book. Can you take care of it?

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11594

  44. Kevin

    Oh, yes I can.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11595

  45. Kevin

    In general, they do not give me much responsibility. But they do let me shred the company documents. And that is really all I need.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11596

  46. Andy

    Michael Scott. Thank you. I appreciate it, Mike.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11597

  47. Michael

    Right.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11598

  48. Dwight

    Hello. I don't believe we've been introduced. Dwight Schrute. Assistant Regional Manager.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11599

  49. Andy

    Andy Bernard. Regional Director in Charge of Sales.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11600

  50. Dwight

    So you'll be reporting to me, then.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11601

  51. Andy

    Umm, on the contrary.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11602

  52. Dwight

    My title has 'Manager' in it.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11603

  53. Andy

    And I'm a director.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11604

  54. Dwight

    Oh.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11605

  55. Andy

    Which on a film set is the highest title there is. Do you know anything about film?

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11606

  56. Dwight

    I know everything about film. I've seen over 240 of them.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11607

  57. Andy

    Congratulations.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11608

  58. Jim

    Hey, Toby!

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11609

  59. Toby

    Hey, Jim!

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11610

  60. Jim

    How are you, man?

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11611

  61. Toby

    Oh, really good.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11612

  62. Jim

    I just wanted to say hi.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11613

  63. Toby

    How are you? Hey. Welcome back.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11614

  64. Jim

    Oh. Is that like your new thing?

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11615

  65. Toby

    No, I'm sorry, it's...

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11616

  66. Jim

    No. It's cool.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11617

  67. Toby

    No, it's nothing. We'll just...

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11618

  68. Jim

    All right. Good to be back.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11619

  69. Toby

    So... okay.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11620

  70. Jim

    All right.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11621

  71. Toby

    All right... sorry... sorry about that.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11622

  72. Jim

    No problem.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11623

  73. Toby

    It was just...

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11624

  74. Jim

    ...what?

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11625

  75. Toby

    Nothing.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11626

  76. Kevin

    This thing is so awesome. It will shred anything. Ooh! It will shred a CD. It will shred... a credit card. It will shred... oh! Shoot.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11627

  77. Michael

    I present the orientation video.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11628

  78. Dwight

    We need to talk!

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11629

  79. Michael

    Not now.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11630

  80. Dwight

    Which is higher? Assistant Regional Manager or Regional Director in Charge of Sales?

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11631

  81. Michael

    I told you the titles are irrelevant. They just relate to pay scale.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11632

  82. Dwight

    Okay. So who gets paid more? Me or Andy?

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11633

  83. Michael

    It is not a matter of more or less. Your pay is just different. Okay? All right! Show time, part one.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11634

  84. Dwight

    Ok. Who reports to who?

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11635

  85. Michael

    I don't care! Dwight! You all report to me! That's all that matters! The rest of it just work out amongst yourselves, ok?

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11636

  86. Dwight

    And then if I want...

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11637

  87. Michael

    Work it out amongst your selves!

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11638

  88. Dwight

    I...

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11639

  89. Michael

    Please! I have a company to run. Well, you let me run the company?

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11640

  90. Dwight

    I...

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11641

  91. Michael

    Will you?

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11642

  92. Dwight

    One...

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11643

  93. Michael

    Please?

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11644

  94. Kelly

    Jim!

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11645

  95. Jim

    Kelly!

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11646

  96. Kelly

    Oh! Oh my god! I have so much to tell you!

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11647

  97. Jim

    Really?

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11648

  98. Kelly

    Yes! Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes? They had a baby and they named it Suri. And then Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie? They had a baby, too, and they named it Shiloh. And both babies are amazing!

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11649

  99. Jim

    Great. What's new with you?

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11650

  100. Kelly

    I just told you.

    Season 3 · Episode 8 · Line 11651