Michael

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12974

Jan

This is the kind of thing, you know? I am... attracted to you. I, I don't know why, I... but, I am. And, I need to follow my instincts. At least that's what Dr. Perry thinks.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12975

Michael

Who is Dr. Perry? I...

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12976

Jan

This is the point, OK? You're wrong for me. In... In... every way. But I still find myself wanting to... be with you.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12977

Michael

And I, to you, in addition, feel the same feelings that you are as well.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12978

Jan

Good, good.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12979

Michael

So, umm... thanks for coming by. So, I, uh...

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12980

Jan

Well, good, OK. Thank you... for taking the time...

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12981

Michael

Well thanks for coming over, I appreciate -

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12982

Jan

Wait 15 minutes, find an excuse, and meet me at your condo.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12983

Michael

Jan, you... complete... me.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12984

Jan

Oh, God.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12985

Roy

Hey, remember when we were planning our honeymoon and you wanted to go to Hawaii and I wanted to go to Mexico?

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12986

Pam

Yeah.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12987

Roy

I was definitely right. Oh, brother.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12988

Kevin

What am I going to do? I'm gonna hang it up at home. I don't have a lot of art.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12989

Michael

I just had the best, most romantic week of my life in Sandals, Jamaica. Went with a lady, and we laid on the beach and drank fruity drinks for free, because it was all-inclusive. And then I flew back to Scranton, and then they lost one of my bags.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12990

Michael

Hey, Mister tally man, tally me banana, six hand, seven hand, eight hand, BRUNCH! So delicious. Dinner, too. And every morning I would watch the sunrise and I would eat a mango. That is how I want to feel all the time. It's called island living. You know, how they say take a chill pill? In Jamaica, I took one. Guy on the beach sold it to me for $40. And after I finished vomiting, I was more relaxed than I ever have been. Lost six pounds, too. That's how I want every day to be.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12991

Pam

Michael sends me a postcard from every vacation he goes on. Atlantic City, he wishes I was here. Busch Gardens, Virginia, all I got was this lousy postcard. And this time, I'm Jamaican-him-crazy. I don't know how far away he thought he was, because he put $10 worth of stamps on this.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12992

Dwight

Hello, you're back.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12993

Michael

Yeah, mon. Me just got back to the office.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12994

Dwight

While you were gone...

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12995

Michael

Me had an i-rey time.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12996

Dwight

While you were gone, Jim glued my desk drawers together. He changed my voicemail so that my voice sounded like a chipmunk. He told me that we had a meeting at 4:00 AM, and I was the only one who showed up.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12997

Michael

Dwight, please, please.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12998

Dwight

He turned over my...

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12999

Michael

I just got back from vacation, mon, all right? So chill. Let's don't... Don't harsh my mellow, mon.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13000

Dwight

I took a vacation once. Never again. While I was away, Jim had my desk shipped to me in Roswell.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13001

Michael

Presents. I got presents for everybody. Dwight, a genuine Rastafarian wig.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13002

Dwight

Unbelievable.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13003

Michael

Andy, I got you a genuine Jamaican T-shirt. They love Milli Vanilli down there.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13004

Andy

I give thanks, mon.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13005

Michael

You are so welcome, mon. Angela, you just got leied.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13006

Angela

No, I didn't.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13007

Michael

Yes, you did. Okay. Oh, Pam, I forgot to get you something.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13008

Pam

That's okay.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13009

Michael

I'm just kidding. Coconuts for your coconuts!

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13010

Pam

No.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13011

Michael

Try it on.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13012

Pam

No.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13013

Michael

Go ahead. Let me know if I miscalculated the size. I don't think I did.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13014

Pam

Thank you.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13015

Michael

Stanley, I got you some ganja. I'm just kidding. It's coffee. I bet you wish it was ganja.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13016

Michael

I just got back from vacay. Come on. Give me a break, man. Waves over Jamaica, $6.99.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13017

Creed

Did he actually give you some ganja?

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13018

Stanley

No.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13019

Creed

You want some?

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13020

Michael

Okay, let me tell you a little story. When I was on vacation, I met a man named Bavon. And Bavon takes people parasailing. And you know what he said to me? He said that he loves going to work every day. How many of you can say that you love going to work every day like Bavon? No one.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13021

Kevin

But, Michael, Buvon gets to go parasailing every day, and that's fun.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13022

Michael

His name is Bavon. And you know what? I'm sure Bavon gets sick of his job, too. I'm sure he would like to take a day off. I'm sure he would like to spend a vacation selling paper, but he has the right attitude. And that is something that you learn when you go to Jamaica, and you really apply yourself.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13023

Michael

I would love to take them all to Jamaica, but is that good management? Yes. But is it the best management? Well, I can't afford it, and corporate won't pay for it. So who's the real criminal?

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13024

Michael

How many of you know the meaning of the Jamaican term, Hakuna Matata?

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13025

Jim

Are you stoned?

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13026

Michael

I...

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13027

Jim

In the picture, are you high?

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13028

Michael

Oh, that's red eye.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13029

Jim

Is that not what happens when you're high?

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13030

Kevin

You look like you have the munchies.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13031

Michael

Well...

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13032

Kelly

I have the munchies. I'm gonna get some of those chocolate wafers.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13033

Michael

Hey, can we just focus?

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13034

Pam

Michael and Jan together in Jamaica. I guess I would just need a little bit more evidence than seeing it with my own eyes.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13035

Ryan

I don't know if Michael and Jan really went to Jamaica, because Michael's way into Photoshop. For example, I never went with him to Egypt.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13036

Phyllis

Where did you save the list of exchanges?

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13037

Stanley

I will gladly give you that information when my bonus comes through.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13038

Phyllis

But I won't be able to do inventory without it.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13039

Stanley

Then you won't be able to do inventory.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13040

Phyllis

Yeah, I really like Stanley, but I'm not always sure if he likes me. I guess that's okay, 'cause I don't really like him.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13041

Dwight

Come on. Come on.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13042

Michael

Okay. Well, Jan's email password is not Dunder Mifflin, Sandals, Jamaica, Michael, Michael Scott, Jan Scott, or Mrs. Jan Scott.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13043

Dwight

Try Dwight.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13044

Michael

Her passwords aren't going to be Dwight, Dwight. That's stupid. Okay.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13045

Michael

Don't you have some sort of chaser or gobbler thing that you can send out that's able to eat up that other emails? I read about something like that. Well, I am in America and I am online, so I do think it involves you. Uh-huh. And if I were a subscriber, would then you be able to send out the gobbler? I'd... Yes, I will hold.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13046

Someone

So your trip to Scottsdale was good?

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13047

Jan

Oh yeah, Arizona's beautiful. Yeah. It's great to... great to see my sister.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13048

Someone

Burnt.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13049

Jan

Oh, yeah, I know. I don't... I don't normally lay out in the sun a lot, but, you know, when it's Scottsdale... I was visiting my sister and...

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13050

Meredith

When a woman gets older, she'll go just about anywhere with just about anyone. I've done some things I'm not so proud of, but I've seen the world.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13051

Angela

Your body is a temple. You have to respect it. You can't just whore it out.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13052

Kevin

I should be turned on. But, last year, remember, I had that skin cancer scare, and so now all I can think is that I hope she was wearing sunscreen. God, I would love to rub some on her.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13053

Dwight

The worst part about the Internet, when a secret is out, everyone knows. The best part about the Internet, that video of the dancing Indian midget, crossbow.org, massively multiplayer online gaming, i.e. Everquest. I also enjoy online banking.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13054

Pam

Okay. So I went on the Internet, and she is not gonna find another apartment for that price. I mean this one is twice as much, and it doesn't have parking. Does she like to park?

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13055

Jim

Oh, loves it.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13056

Pam

Okay. This one is the same price but it's got...

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13057

Jim

Green walls.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13058

Pam

I think that's mold.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13059

Jim

Ooh... fancy.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13060

Dwight

Spiderman, Peter Parker, would not reveal his love for Mary Jane for fear that she might be captured and harmed by the Green Goblin. Now, if Michael had studied the Spidey principles that I'd drawn up for him, Jan's boobs might not be all over the Internet.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13061

Dwight

Attention everyone! May I have your attention, please? Listen up. If we all work really hard and focus, we should be out of here in seven hours. Now, somewhere in these stacks, I have hidden a deck of cards. That should motivate you to keep your eyes open. If you find the deck of cards, you can redeem it with me in exchange for a free soft drink. Get back... Back to work!

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13062

Pam

Yes, it is The Island Luau Inventory '07. It's actually a success compared to Disco Audit '05.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13063

Roy

What's the problem?

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13064

Ryan

We have seven fewer boxes of Canariola copier paper in stock than we're supposed to.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13065

Roy

Let me see this. Looks good to me.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13066

Stanley

I wouldn't have come, but I know Jan is showing up soon. I don't wanna miss the show.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13067

Michael

Hey! Hey! Stop your mouth, please.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13068

Kelly

Eighty-six. Eighty-seven. Eighty-eight. Eighty-nine.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13069

Andy

Hey Dwight, I bet I can stack faster than you can.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13070

Dwight

Please, I can double your pace.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13071

Andy

Oh, yeah? Prove it, champ. You ready?

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13072

Dwight

Let's go.

Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 13073

"Back from Vacation" Quotes (page 3)