Every line from The Office season 3, episode 11, in script order. First aired January 4, 2007.
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Jim
Yeah.
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12874
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Pam
You sure?
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12875
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Jim
Yeah. Yes. Um, I'm just in this, like, stupid fight with Karen.
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12876
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Pam
Oh. You want to talk about it?
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12877
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Jim
Really?
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12878
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Michael
I have a special assignment for you.
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12879
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Dwight
Who's the target?
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12880
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Michael
A sensitive email has been released to the office. It contains a file, a picture. The file name is 'Jamaican Jan Sun Princess.'
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12881
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Dwight
What's it of?
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12882
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Michael
Not important.
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12883
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Dwight
Unless you're willing to tell me everything, I cannot accept this assignment.
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12884
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Michael
OK, forget it.
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12885
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Dwight
OK, I accept it.
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12886
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Jim
So, I dunno, I just feel likes we've been dating a month, right? Same street. I think that might be a little close. A little much.
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12887
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Pam
Hmm.
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12888
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Jim
Hmm, what?
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12889
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Pam
How far away does she live now, like ten minutes?
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12890
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Jim
Yeah, I guess.
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12891
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Pam
Honestly, I think you should go easy on her.
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12892
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Pam
No, I didn't mind helping Jim with his problem. That's what friends do. I help Phyllis all the time. Just yesterday, I untangled a piece of tape from her hair. So, yeah.
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12893
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Jim
Hey, thanks a lot.
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12894
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Pam
Oh, don't worry about it. I mean, it's better than listening to Michael play a conch shell... which is what I was doing. Oh, also, Michael went to Jamaica with Jan!
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12895
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Jim
Oh, yeah, How have we not talked about this already? I mean what happened there? Kidnapping?
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12896
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Toby
Hey I need to talk to you right now.
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12897
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Michael
Not now, not ever.
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12898
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Toby
About you and Jan.
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12899
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Michael
Aww, none of your business.
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12900
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Toby
Wish it were true, but it, it uh, seems from that photo that you took, you've entered into an intimate relationship.
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12901
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Michael
That photo is my personal property and if you are telling me you went on my computer and stole that photo, then I am going to call the cops.
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12902
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Toby
Michael, nine different people emailed me that photo, including my ex-wife... we don't talk now.
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12903
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Michael
This is probably the icebreaker you need.
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12904
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Toby
You know, for your own protection, you should disclose the relationship to HR.
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12905
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Michael
I bet you would love all the details, wouldn't you? Skeevy little perv.
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12906
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Toby
All right, if you're having a relationship with your superior, you must disclose it.
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12907
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Michael
No, no, no. I am not dating Jan. She was very clear about that. Just two like souls having a romantic time in the most romantic place on earth. Got enough, weirdo?
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12908
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Toby
All right, thanks Michael.
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12909
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Michael
OK.
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12910
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Angela
OK, we only have three hours people to plan a whole luau, and you're not helping.
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12911
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Karen
What are the ingredients of poi?
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12912
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Phyllis
I called every grocery store in Scranton, and no one sells whole pigs.
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12913
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Angela
Did you try the petting zoo?
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12914
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Pam
Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam. Just a second. Michael, it's Jan on the phone for you.
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12915
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Michael
Oh, God, no. No, no! Hang up! Hang up! Tell her I'm not here. Tell... tell her, I ran out for cash. I hit a deer. I hit a deer with my car. Tell her I hit a cat. Tell her I hit a cat.
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12916
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Pam
He'll call you back. OK, great.
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12917
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Michael
She bought it? OK. OK.
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12918
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Dwight
Michael hit a deer?
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12919
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Dwight
Michael! Michael! There's an emergency in the warehouse.
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12920
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Michael
There an accident? Somebody hurt?
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12921
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Dwight
No, it's... involves the photograph.
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12922
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Michael
Oh. God. No, no, no, no, no.
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12923
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Roy
Mike, you are a rock star, man. You are the man! Well done.
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12924
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Michael
All right.
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12925
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Roy
That corporate booty, he likes to hit it!
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12926
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Michael
Hello. Hi. Attention everyone. Um, apparently, there is an email circulating around that contains a very PG-13 rating picture of me and a woman---
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12927
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Kevin
Jan.
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12928
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Michael
No, Kevin. A woman. Maybe Jan, maybe...
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12929
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Jim
Urkel Grue.
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12930
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Michael
My point is that, if you get it, I would ask that you just delete it. Sight unseen. Let's be professional, all right?
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12931
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Michael
Feelin'... feelin' hot, hot, hot!
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12932
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Pam
Hey.
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12933
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Michael
Hey.
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12934
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Pam
What are you doing out here?
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12935
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Michael
Island living. You know?
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12936
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Pam
Jan called. She's coming in later to talk to you.
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12937
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Michael
Did she say what it's about?
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12938
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Pam
That's all she said.
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12939
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Andy
Ole ole - ole ole... Ole ole - ole ole. People in the party - hot hot hot
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12940
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Jim
Uh, I think you dropped this
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12941
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Karen
You sure?
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12942
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Jim
Definitely.
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12943
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Dwight
I have disconnected the office T1 line. I have ordered that that be taken down and destroyed all print outs from the bathroom.
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12944
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Michael
There are copies in the bathroom?
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12945
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Dwight
There were. A lot of them.
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12946
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Michael
All right.
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12947
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Karen
I think I owe you one.
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12948
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Pam
Sorry?
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12949
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Karen
For talking sense into Halpert. The Day's Inn room 228 was starting to get really depressing.
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12950
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Pam
Oh, yeah, no. Don't worry about it. I mean, he was being ridiculous.
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12951
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Karen
Yeah, but... thanks. Seriously.
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12952
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Pam
Sure.
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12953
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Darryl
Oh, yes! Yes! What'd I tell you? I knew he'd turn up You see that? This is the greatest night of my life.
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12954
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Dwight
Who did this to you? Where is he?
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12955
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Pam
What? No, it's not... it's nothing.
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12956
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Dwight
It's hot in here.
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12957
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Pam
Yeah.
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12958
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Dwight
Yeah.
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12959
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Pam
Thanks. You don't need to stay here.
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12960
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Dwight
I know. So you're PMSing pretty bad, huh?
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12961
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Jan
Hello everyone. Hello Michael.
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12962
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Michael
Guh.
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12963
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Kevin
Hi Jan, you look... tan.
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12964
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Jan
I was in Scottsdale visiting my sister.
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12965
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Kevin
Yeah. How was it?
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12966
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Jan
Very sunny. Family's important. Michael, I would like to speak with you, in your office.
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12967
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Michael
OK, yup.
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12968
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Jan
Why am I here, Michael?
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12969
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Michael
I...
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12970
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Jan
In the last year, I've gone through a divorce, an identity theft, a husband who would not... communicate. This is nether here or there. My psychiatrist thinks that I have some self-destructive tendencies and that for once, I should indulge them. You following me?
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12971
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Michael
I... I... Yes.
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12972
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Jan
I think I owe it to myself to find some kind of happiness, you know? I mean, even, even if it means... lowering my expectations or, or redefining the word, itself.
Season 3 · Episode 11 · Line 12973