Stanley Hudson Quotes from The Office (page 6)

Salesman, crossword solver, pretzel day devotee.

763 quotes · page 6 of 8

1. Let's just make this kid open this damn car.

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2. Texas justice.

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3. No you will not.

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4. How many paper supplies and ink cartridges to go with that? Ok, sure.

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5. Is he still doing his boycott?

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6. You brought balloons to a play?

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7. Interesting subject matter. I'm surprised you pulled it off.

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8. Not again...

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9. You're always asking for our attention.

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10. Seems recent.

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11. That's what I was thinking, you kept announcing scores.

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12. We sell better?

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13. I would like to stay. This pertains to me.

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14. Why do you always assume I have diabetes?

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15. I'm outta here.

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16. Hmpf!

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17. What's a seven letter word for purse?

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18. Nope. Starts with an H.

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19. Hmmm. Thank you.

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20. Hold up! That clock is slow. It is five o'clock, I will see you all tomorrow:

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21. Night, everybody.

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22. How many freakin' vampires am I supposed to care about these days?

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23. Raaah!

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24. This is not the meal I was promised. I'm going to have no energy for the rest of the day.

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25. I would run to Mexico if that's where the sandwiches are.

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26. You could feed the hungry. Us.

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27. I...

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28. You don't have our attention.

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29. I'm listening.

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30. Yes, I have a dream. And It's not some M.L.K. Dream for Equality. I want to own a decommissioned Lighthouse. And I want to live at the top. And nobody knows I live there. And there's a button that I can press, and it'll launch that lighthouse into space.

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31. I want my money back.

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32. Get us out of this!

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33. It's a bad bet.

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34. Michael, are you that blind?

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35. Dwight, why is the toilet paper only half a ply?

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36. Don't tell me how to do my business.

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37. Are you just gonna sit there, Office Administrator, or are you going to do something?

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38. Why not just go one for the year?

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39. I will not work in a roach billboard.

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40. Are you trying to kill me?

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41. Pam got those sugar-free cookies I like. I'm doing fine.

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42. Yeah, who's a little girl now?

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43. So do they bring in food, or do you get to go out?

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44. You lucky son of a bitch.

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45. I have been trying to get on jury duty every single year since I was 18 years old. To get to go sit in an air-conditioned room downtown, judging people while my lunch is paid for... that is the life.

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46. Great.

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47. I'm out.

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48. Click the 'x'

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49. In the box.

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50. Woman, you've had a computer for years!

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51. The flirtatious tickling.

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52. So something good happening to Stanley is crazy now?

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53. Marry me Holly.

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54. Deangelo, you're going to starve to death.

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55. Need a hand?

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56. What are you doing? Have you lost your mind?

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57. Have you lost your mind! Get off my property before I call the police!

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58. I was.

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59. More meetings and-

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60. Where's the rest of it, it's got no balls.

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61. Yeah wow!

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62. Gimme those clients!

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63. Yes, what is this about?

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64. Mmhmmm.

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65. Is that it?

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66. Is that it?

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67. [refills his coffee near a sign that reads 'Honor System: $0.50' with a camera pointed at it]

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68. We all saw you do it.

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69. Good morning.

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70. The hell you will! I worked for the last boss for 15 years. According to my doctor, I don't have another 15 years if I want to keep up the same dietary and sexual lifestyle, which I intend to.

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71. My next boss will be my last boss. He'll be at my funeral. So I would appreciate it if you would take this seriously.

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72. I'll get over it.

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73. It might be easier if you take a deep breath, lift from the knees, and shove it up your butt.

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74. I came up with a new thing this summer. I act like I'm telling someone how to do somethin'. I go on with a long description and then I say, 'and shove it up your butt.' It's stupid, but it's my thing now.

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75. What?

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76. Go in there and just ask the man what it means.

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77. Well, you take the first letter from each name, assign it a number, add 'em all up, and SHOVE IT UP YOUR BUTT!

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78. What's that?

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79. That's pizza.

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80. We get that every year.

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81. How on earth are we supposed to sell'?

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82. If we could just double our sales, we already would have. You're not making any sense.

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83. How 'bout you want us to work harder, pay us more.

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84. You've got to unleash the power of the Pyramid!

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85. I like what we have.

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86. Any chance Connecticut Casual is Pennsylvania Business, i.e. this is what I'm wearing to your party.

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87. Just some chef.

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88. What the hell is going on here?

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89. How did you get in my car?

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90. If ghosts are real, how come everyone knows what they look like? It's not like a bunch of people got together and agreed on a lie.

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91. Closing time every new beginning'

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92. I've never heard that song before. And once I heard it, I did not care for it, but that song means it's time to go home. Now'it's my favorite song.

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93. Goodnight.

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94. This doomsdays device sounds like a scare tactic to me.

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95. Try mose1234.

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96. Well'I was saving this for my retirement, which I guess is today.

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97. I know how to save the company, everyone. Just write a petition, get everyones' signature, including our clients, march down to Florida, and shove it up your butt! Ha!

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98. This doomsday device sounds like a scare tactic to me. Y2K all over again.

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99. Oh, I was all about the Y2K bug. Paid some guy to update my PC, threw out my microwave, canceled my plane ticket, sold all my stocks, spent New Year's Eve with a gas mask on my face. I was even wearing a diaper! Someone said Y2K would get the toilets.

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100. If your woman is like mine, I bet you come home to hear the same thing all the time. This paper is so hard. It scratches. Why can't there be a paper just for me? Well now there is. 'Papyr.' Paper for women. It's pink, scented and silky soft. Now, you can watch the game and she can write a letter to her sister.

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