Stanley Hudson Quotes from The Office (page 7)

Salesman, crossword solver, pretzel day devotee.

763 quotes · page 7 of 8

1. In the African-American community-

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2. Thought it was worth a try.

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3. how about that two-hole-punch letter? Only the lawyers want that punch at the top and they use legal.

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4. It's my birthday.

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5. Holiday wishes.

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6. We know exactly what holiday you're referring to.

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7. I've been here eighteen years and have suffered through some weird thematic Christmases. A Honolulu Christmas, A Pulp Fiction Christmas, A Muslim Christmas, Moroccan Christmas. Mo-rocca Christmas. I don't want it. Christmas is Christmas is Christmas is Christmas.

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8. I don't want no Kwanza wreath, I don't need a dreidel in my face, that's it's own thing. And who's that black Santa for?! I don't care! I know Santa ain't black! I could care less. I want Christmas! Just give me plain baby Jesus, lying in a manger, Christmas!

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9. That's right.

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10. Go on, kid. You know you don't belong here.

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11. Atlanta.

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12. Keep talking all you want.

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13. That's it. I'm going to go watch the boats on the river.

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14. Yeah, I'm sitting on twenty-five hundred in sales I can make at any time but those are my wait till the separation is legal sales.

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15. You've been meatballed!

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16. Are you ready for some meatball?

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17. Look for your stapler!

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18. Oh okay. Good night. What's the haul?

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19. Good day.

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20. We'll never have to buy meatballs again.

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21. I moved them. Pants only need a chair if there's a person in them.

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22. Yeah, you owe us. I had to stay until six twice to cover for you. My wife got to the TV first, had to sit through damn Rizzoli and damn Isles.

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23. What?

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24. What the hell, Jim? I covered for your bony butt.

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25. We'll see you tomorrow.

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26. I know what you can do Jim. Take those black licorice, then go get some of those red licorice, take 'em in your hand, roll 'em up real tight...

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27. Dammit Jim! You stole my afternoons, now you stole my line! It's not 'shove it up your butt' it's....I'll kill you! I'll kill you dead!

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28. EAT IT!

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29. You still had eight weeks more than we did.

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30. What?!

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31. Respect it? You're trying to tell me Kevin Malone deserves more than Stanley Hudson.

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32. If anybody's going to Florida, it should be me. Every shirt I have that isn't a work shirt is a Tommy Bahama. I'm the only person in this office who watches Burn Notice.

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33. Florida Stanley smiles. Florida Stanley is happy to go to work. Florida Stanley is who you want on your Florida team.

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34. Why is it so hot in here?

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35. How did a mosquito get in here?

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36. Mmm! Ugh!

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37. Laugh it up, Halpert. I'm in Florida for a month without my family. I'm gonna enjoy this. Want to get in? You can work the iPod.

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38. You're a nice guy, Jim, but you have no idea how to vacation. Find some Kenny Loggins.

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39. Did I say 'Messina?'

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40. Get the damn phone.

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41. Life is short. 'Drive fast and leave a sexy corpse.' That's one of my mottoes.

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42. It's just rum. I'm not bored, I'm a pirate.

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43. It's whatever you want.

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44. Or do you only drink with your kids?

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45. Sounds like a hoot. I'm in.

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46. Aw, let him do it.

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47. Yup.

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48. What's under the cloth?

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49. My friend and I are new here in Tallahassee. Would you like to get a cocktail?. Maybe go out for a little dancing. Beautiful day, no?

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50. My mini bar is oddly out of rum.

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51. Oh, hello.

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52. Got it. Good night. Careful Jim, it gets easier and easier.

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53. mm-hmm.

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54. uh-huh.

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55. I'm on break.

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56. Don't talk to me.

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57. Good to be back.

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58. And we are grateful.

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59. Who's a native?

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60. No. Um-um.

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61. She's right, Andy. you're being a jabroni

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62. You two better watch yourselves.

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63. Can we expect any payroll interruptions?

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64. Oh, my god. It's called a garbage can.

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65. They're like the new Jim and Dwight.

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66. Mm, swish.

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67. American Diabetes Association.

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68. Well somebody owned somebody. And I don't think anybody would buy an Andy.

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69. Do not care.

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70. What's he measuring?

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71. Well I'm not getting paid to work in a microwave oven.

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72. There are a hundred packs..

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73. Shh!

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74. Ninety nine cases..yeah.

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75. How many times do you need to take a stroll?

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76. Boy, I will hammer spank your rear.

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77. No question.

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78. Next stop pies!

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79. Hurry it up for god's sake. They're gonna be out of banana cream!

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80. Ugh. I don't want to sit through a whole concert of that.

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81. Show some pride. This is crap.

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82. Why should we help you?

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83. When is my birthday?

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84. I don't know, because we're not friends.

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85. Now we're talkin'.

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86. We've got all afternoon to talk about that.

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87. I'll have the surf and turf with a side order of lobster.

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88. Not enough lobster. Side order.

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89. Don't be pushy Jim. It's tacky.

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90. Is it white wine?

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91. Ooh, bring it over.

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92. [chuckles]

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93. I did enjoy grinding your beans, son.

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94. Shuckin' your peas.

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95. Yeah.

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96. No. I want Tropical Christmas.

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97. I love Philly. Dirty town.

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98. See you next Christmas.

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99. Ugh. I'm not eating mystery meat.

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100. Uh-Uh. No, Dwight. No.

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