Robert California Quotes from The Office (page 2)

CEO of Dunder Mifflin Sabre, briefly.

445 quotes · page 2 of 5

1. Now then, how are we today?

   Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46985

2. Just fine, Kelly? Everything alright?

   Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46988

3. You feeling fulfilled in your life?

   Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46990

4. You guess? So, there is something you want that you do not have.

   Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46992

5. Because it's too terrifying to imagine. Now we're cooking. What is it, Kelly? What is this great fear of yours?

   Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46994

6. Yes. Dying alone, that is very scary. And how are you, Toby?

   Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 46996

7. What are we talking about?

   Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 47055

8. You seem unimpressed. Ghosts don't scare you?

   Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 47057

9. It's true. They've been preserved for thousands of years. They're all over.

   Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 47061

10. Why didn't you simply ask Andy to clarify? Asking is a very easy thing to do. You're obviously very close.. Oh I see. This no longer seems like my business.

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 47094

11. You were going to talk at the end of the' I'm not here.

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 47096

12. I'm never uncomfortable.

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 47098

13. I should go.

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 47107

14. Looks terribly real, doesn't it, Creed?

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 47130

15. Are you scared of snakes?

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 47132

16. What am I up to?

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 47136

17. When I was a boy, there was an empty house just up the hill from my family's. It was rumored a man committed suicide there after being possessed by the devil. One day, a young woman, Lydia, moved into the house with her infant child. That very night, Lydia was awakened by a loud, heinous hissing sound. She walked to the nursery, and there, in baby's crib, was a snake wrapped around baby's neck, squeezing tighter and tighter.

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 47142

18. The crib was full of dirt. Baby struggled to free itself from underneath, reaching and clawing, gasping for air. Embalmed bodies rose from their sarcophagi, lurching toward baby, for they were mummies.

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 47144

19. Amongst them was a man, tall, slim.

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 47146

20. Almost instinctively, she turned to her husband. 'Oh, wait,' she thought, 'I don't have a husband.' For Lydia and her husband had had an argument, one they couldn't get past. Each night, they slept one inch farther apart, until one night, Lydia left. It was about this time she lost herself in imaginary worlds. She had quit the book club, the choir, citing something about their high expectations. Her lips slowly grew together from disuse. Everytime she wanted to act and didn't, another part of her face hardened, until it was stone. And that fevered night, she rushed to the nursery, threw open the door, 'Baby, are you okay?' Baby sat up slowly, turned to mother and said, 'I'm fine, b!tch, I'm fine.'

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 47148

21. Fear plays an interesting role in our lives. How dare we let it motivate us. How dare we let it into our decision making, into our livelihoods, into our relationships. It's funny, isn't it, we take a day a year to dress up in costume and celebrate fear.

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 47150

22. What are we talking about?

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 47160

23. Have you seen a ghost?

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 47162

24. No, no. I'm very comfortable with all things sexual. Continue.

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 47167

25. Have you considered the possibility that you slept with a drifter?

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Quote 47169

26. This is atrocious.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Quote 47202

27. The ticketing software paints a picture of a sloppy, careless, error prone office.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Quote 47204

28. Did you need something from us?

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Quote 47207

29. Last week an accounting mistake resulted in a client getting their order for free.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Quote 47210

30. Who are they?

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Quote 47212

31. Andrew sometimes I feel like you don't know me at all.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Quote 47214

32. Simply'end the mistakes

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Quote 47216

33. When I come back next week and this report shows me no mistakes, we can talk about names, all day. Our favorite names, silly made up names, normal names said in a silly voice. Wouldn't that be nice?

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Quote 47218

34. End the mistakes. That is all I ask. And you can't have a favorite Iron Chef. It depends entirely on the secret ingredient. Sometimes I feel you don't know food at all.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Quote 47220

35. I'll see you next week Will.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Quote 47385

36. Jim what are you'What a surprise.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Quote 47387

37. Yeah.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Quote 47389

38. A game or a match?

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Quote 47391

39. In the box.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Quote 47413

40. Sounded like mine.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Quote 47441

41. Well, it's mine. You took it out of my bag.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Quote 47443

42. Can I have it?

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Quote 47445

43. Yep.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Quote 47447

44. Whoa, no, wait, wait, wait, whoa.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Quote 47449

45. ha, Jesus.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Quote 47450

46. Nah, it's good.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Quote 47452

47. Yeah.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Quote 47454

48. It's the standard one. The one everyone has.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Quote 47456

49. It depends Jim. Do you find one-day only Jet Blue sales to Buffalo interesting?

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Quote 47458

50. My serve!

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Quote 47460

51. Take it easy. Nice and easy.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Quote 47468

52. Oo!

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Quote 47470

53. You alright?

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Quote 47472

54. Skinned knee.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Quote 47474

55. Oo, a little ice on that maybe.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Quote 47476

56. Okay. My serve.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Quote 47478

57. Eleven love. I win again.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Quote 47491

58. I don't think so.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Quote 47493

59. Why? Not only are you terrible at squash, but you don't even seem to enjoy it. Jim, this is not enough of a challenge for me.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Quote 47495

60. Let's wait, until we have something to smoke about.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Quote 47501

61. Just taking a stroll. What exactly have I stumbled upon here?

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47605

62. You're a band.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47607

63. I miss being in a band.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47611

64. Tambourine? You know I'm the CEO, right?

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47614

65. I play harmonica. I think I have one in the car.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47616

66. Hey, you found us!

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47668

67. Darryl, Andy, Kevin, this is Curtis Dorough, local musician and the officiate at my wedding.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47670

68. You guys mind if they join us?

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47675

69. What should we play?

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47680

70. Midnight Rambler?

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Quote 47682

71. Oh, hi there.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 47904

72. Where is everyone? Where is Andy?

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 47906

73. Well, I was hoping to talk out some ideas with Andy. But what we have here... is perhaps better. By not going on the trip, you've shown you're the free-thinkers of the office.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 47908

74. So, here what we can do. Game changers- changes to the game such that the game can never be played the same way again. Everyone, brainstorm some innovations. Don't be afraid to get weird with it. Meredith! Excited!

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 47910

75. I am so eager to hear your game-changers. Let's dig in, shall we?

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 47958

76. Absolutely.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 47960

77. This idea hasn't gripped me. What else did you come up with?

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 47962

78. That was bad.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 47964

79. The situation you described, returning home to a wife complaining about her paper being too masculine, is not one I'm familiar with.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 47966

80. No.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 47968

81. I am not.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 47986

82. Kevin, you've been quiet. I'm curious to know what your game-changer is.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 47989

83. Cookies. Cookie placement.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 47991

84. Who else agrees with Kevin, that we're wasting facilities, manpower, on our underselling products when we should be pushing our top-performers? There you go. Consensus.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 47993

85. Interesting. So what is Dunder Mifflin's oatmeal cookie? What is the product that no one wants?

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 47998

86. That's the oatmeal cookie. Fantastic, Kevin. Fantastic.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 48000

87. And why is Black Rock suddenly the paragon by which all hedge funds must now be compared?

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 48020

88. Right. I mean you're an accountant. Those bogus prospectuses must drive you insane.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 48022

89. Kevin!

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 48041

90. Big Mac idea. That sounds encouraging.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 48044

91. Well what is the idea?

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 48047

92. Oh my. It was just actually cookies the whole time?

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 48050

93. Haha! There he is. You mind lending a hand? I'm typing up a memo to share your ideas with the board.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 48067

94. Great....ok.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Quote 48069

95. In four seconds my wife is going to be coming through that door. I told her she could work here. Under no circumstances can that be allowed to happen. There you are! Honey how on earth could you miss the elevator?

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48144

96. Everyone. I'd like to introduce my wife Mrs. Robert California. Mrs. California this is everyone.

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48148

97. Last night at dinner Susan and I were talking about her returning to work. So she's here today to see if there's a good fit. Something tells me it just might work out. This is Andy Bernard the regional manager.

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48150

98. Andy would you be so kind as to show Susan around the office. Show her the various departments. Find a place where she'll shine.

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48153

99. Andy. Let's see if there's a good fit first. Then we'll talk.

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48155

100. Two secretaries could convey a sense of importance and success to our clients. Certainly worth exploring; wouldn't you agree Andy?

     Season 8 · Episode 9 · Quote 48177