Robert California Quotes from The Office (page 4)

CEO of Dunder Mifflin Sabre, briefly.

445 quotes · page 4 of 5

1. I am loving the chemistry between you two.

   Season 8 · Episode 18 · Quote 50873

2. I bet. I'm excited.

   Season 8 · Episode 18 · Quote 50875

3. If I may, try holding the putter... yeah, with your wrists here. And your thumbs here.

   Season 8 · Episode 18 · Quote 50907

4. That's right. Your little finger.

   Season 8 · Episode 18 · Quote 50909

5. I'll let Dwight have his fun. Today will not be his day.

   Season 8 · Episode 18 · Quote 50935

6. I'm gonna tank the Sabre store at the presentation to the board.

   Season 8 · Episode 18 · Quote 50937

7. Well, the store is lovely. You created a wonderful space to showcase our product line. Great job. Cheers.

   Season 8 · Episode 18 · Quote 50939

8. But, there's a reason we sell our products online and over-the-phone. Have you ever used Sabre electronics, Jim? They're cheap. They're unintuitive. The Sabre store would work if we adopted the carnival model of leaving town once everyone's wives do us.

   Season 8 · Episode 18 · Quote 50941

9. I couldn't just kill the project from the start. Jo Bennett endorsed it. Shame though, I did like Dwight.

   Season 8 · Episode 18 · Quote 50943

10. Bravo, Dwight! Very good! Shame.

    Season 8 · Episode 18 · Quote 50945

11. What baffles me is how you could take a perfectly good idea, which the great Jo Bennett rightfully signed off on, and then utterly botch it in execution.

    Season 8 · Episode 18 · Quote 51097

12. I don't see Dwight. He clearly had the infinite wisdom to stay as far away from this clown show as possible.

    Season 8 · Episode 18 · Quote 51099

13. That was never on the table.

    Season 8 · Episode 18 · Quote 51101

14. And yet Todd, it's you who's fired.

    Season 8 · Episode 18 · Quote 51103

15. Nellie.

    Season 8 · Episode 19 · Quote 51160

16. How are you adjusting to life in Scranton so far?

    Season 8 · Episode 19 · Quote 51162

17. Good.

    Season 8 · Episode 19 · Quote 51164

18. Ah, well, it is astounding what a difference that can make, isn't it?

    Season 8 · Episode 19 · Quote 51166

19. Now. Let's find you something fun to do here, shall we?

    Season 8 · Episode 19 · Quote 51168

20. We have a manager.

    Season 8 · Episode 19 · Quote 51170

21. Excuse me, has anyone seen Andy this morning?

    Season 8 · Episode 19 · Quote 51172

22. Andy, it's Robert. Why aren't you at work?

    Season 8 · Episode 19 · Quote 51175

23. I don't care, I don't care. Please come to work immediately.

    Season 8 · Episode 19 · Quote 51177

24. He just hung up on me mid-sentence.

    Season 8 · Episode 19 · Quote 51180

25. Not much we can do about this until he gets here.

    Season 8 · Episode 19 · Quote 51182

26. Sometimes the flowers arrange themselves, Jim.

    Season 8 · Episode 19 · Quote 51184

27. This is an odd situation. But it's very interesting how it's playing out.

    Season 8 · Episode 19 · Quote 51208

28. We live in this world of routines and rhythms. Kevin ate someone's lunch. Phyllis has a new necklace. Who is this woman?

    Season 8 · Episode 19 · Quote 51209

29. I am not. Huh.

    Season 8 · Episode 19 · Quote 51272

30. Let me guess, you want one too? Take the family to Disneytown?

    Season 8 · Episode 19 · Quote 51274

31. Jim, I told Andy to come in, and yet he is still not in. By contrast, Nellie Bertram saw a vacuum and filled it. To make no mention of her business experience or her relationship with Jo Bennett, my boss.

    Season 8 · Episode 19 · Quote 51276

32. Jim, would you prefer a nature metaphor or a sexual metaphor?

    Season 8 · Episode 19 · Quote 51278

33. When two animals are having sex, one of them...

    Season 8 · Episode 19 · Quote 51280

34. ' is communicating a message to the other. Nothing is mutua-- this isn't very helpful. You're gonna want to hear the sexual metaphor.

    Season 8 · Episode 19 · Quote 51282

35. All life is sex. And all sex is competition.

    Season 8 · Episode 19 · Quote 51284

36. And there are no rules to that game. That wasn't so perverted, now was it?

    Season 8 · Episode 19 · Quote 51286

37. My point is, there is one person in charge of every office in America, and that person is Charles Darwin. In the end, doesn't he decide who the manager is?

    Season 8 · Episode 19 · Quote 51288

38. Look at this wonderful recognition of Nellie's leadership. I believe.

    Season 8 · Episode 19 · Quote 51358

39. Good morning, Robert,' says no one because our receptionist is in Florida. Pam!

    Season 8 · Episode 20 · Quote 51400

40. Is this a video conference you're having with 'Drake, featuring Swizz Beatz'?

    Season 8 · Episode 20 · Quote 51402

41. People, you should come to work already warm. Nine to ten a.m. is the most productive potential that a human being-

    Season 8 · Episode 20 · Quote 51404

42. Nellie, really, nine fifty?

    Season 8 · Episode 20 · Quote 51406

43. Ah.

    Season 8 · Episode 20 · Quote 51408

44. I've never believed willpower was very important in a woman.

    Season 8 · Episode 20 · Quote 51410

45. I don't think you would have shown up to work nearly an hour late for no reason.

    Season 8 · Episode 20 · Quote 51412

46. No, no, no, no. There's something going on. Some stress in your life.

    Season 8 · Episode 20 · Quote 51414

47. Nellie?

    Season 8 · Episode 20 · Quote 51426

48. You're clearly under a lot of... stress with the moving and the work situation you've found yourself in.

    Season 8 · Episode 20 · Quote 51428

49. Let's help her out, shall we? Go above and beyond today to show her some of that warm Scranton hospitality. Jim. Dwight. Take the day. Help Nellie move those boxes into her new place.

    Season 8 · Episode 20 · Quote 51430

50. The rest of you, let's throw a party at the end of the day to welcome the newest member of our little community.

    Season 8 · Episode 20 · Quote 51432

51. This humble but sincere effort is all for our valued new colleague. Excellent.

    Season 8 · Episode 20 · Quote 51609

52. Cheers.

    Season 8 · Episode 20 · Quote 51611

53. no, Nellie, she-

    Season 8 · Episode 20 · Quote 51636

54. Oh, no, you-

    Season 8 · Episode 20 · Quote 51640

55. Why is Jim treating the magician poorly?

    Season 8 · Episode 20 · Quote 51642

56. Well Nellie, I'm sorry. If I'd known Jim and Pam would use this party as an excuse to abuse a magician-

    Season 8 · Episode 20 · Quote 51652

57. Interesting. Yes. No, yes, I see that. Great work, team. Great party.

    Season 8 · Episode 20 · Quote 51654

58. Nellie! You've been terrific in your interim capacity. But, Andrew is the rightful manager so if you would just give him his office-

    Season 8 · Episode 21 · Quote 51755

59. I'm sorry?

    Season 8 · Episode 21 · Quote 51757

60. I'm not accustomed to people saying no to me.

    Season 8 · Episode 21 · Quote 51759

61. You're both adults. I'm sure you can figure this out between yourselves.

    Season 8 · Episode 21 · Quote 51761

62. I never allow sexual desire to influence a business decision. So I find it best to excuse myself temporarily until I've had a chance to make love and then go back and analyze the situation rationally. Buffett operates the same way.

    Season 8 · Episode 21 · Quote 51762

63. Andrew, not everyone here is important. And the word is 'impotence.'

    Season 8 · Episode 21 · Quote 51829

64. It seems Andy is the only one with this problem. Fascinating.

    Season 8 · Episode 21 · Quote 51852

65. Jim, maybe you could tell us about one of those times.

    Season 8 · Episode 21 · Quote 51866

66. No, that's absolutely the case.

    Season 8 · Episode 21 · Quote 51877

67. Andy, why don't you tell us about the best erection of your life? Or does anyone else have any remarkable erections they'd like to share?

    Season 8 · Episode 21 · Quote 51880

68. I almost didn't come in today.

    Season 8 · Episode 21 · Quote 51886

69. Andy, why don't you just take a seat?

    Season 8 · Episode 21 · Quote 51895

70. Andy, Erin, you can join us now.

    Season 8 · Episode 21 · Quote 51902

71. Andy, we're going to go with Nellie as manager and put you back on the sales team. I promise you, in time, we'll all laugh about this incident. I already think it's kind of funny.

    Season 8 · Episode 21 · Quote 51923

72. Excuse me?

    Season 8 · Episode 21 · Quote 51925

73. Well you can't say no.

    Season 8 · Episode 21 · Quote 51927

74. Look, Andrew, we can discuss the specifics of the job.

    Season 8 · Episode 21 · Quote 51954

75. Andrew, if you say no one more time, you're fired. So... is there anything else you wanna say?

    Season 8 · Episode 21 · Quote 51960

76. Ugh, I hate ties! I feel like I'm being strangled like I'm at some erotic asphyxiation sex club over on I-84. The red room say? Or Dominick's?

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Quote 52012

77. Andrew.

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Quote 52050

78. I stepped in right away and start--

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Quote 52070

79. Well...

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Quote 52072

80. So, Thomas Oregon is an evil figure?

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Quote 52074

81. and the hero, who's that based on?

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Quote 52076

82. Andrew, I think this may have been a bad idea. Why don't you let me pay for you and Erin to go out to a great romantic dinner tonight?

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Quote 52081

83. Andy you should leave. Now.

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Quote 52083

84. Thank you. Why do we love dogs? Want me to tell you why? There is no answer. Our love for them confounds reason!

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Quote 52136

85. The state senator, Robert Lipton, loves dogs. he asked me if I loved dogs. you know what I said? Yes!

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Quote 52138

86. Bella here was a therapy dog for ten years. when her owner passed away she came to this organization for placement. But people don't often adopt older dogs, so Bella and eleven heroes like her are being cared for by our generous volunteers because frankly nobody else will

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Quote 52140

87. Andy, that's very kind--

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Quote 52142

88. Andy why don't we discuss this at a--

    Season 8 · Episode 22 · Quote 52144

89. Everyone, conference room, now.

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52238

90. Shh' shh'

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52271

91. Can everyone just, please' I had a one-man saturnalia last night, in celebration of the finalization of my divorce. I got into a case of Australian reds, and ' how should I say this ' Columbian whites. What ' what is this about, uh, Binghamton?

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52274

92. Closing the Binghamton branch never occurred to me before today. Or, I guess, last night. But, in vino veritas as they say, I'm not gonna start doubting my drunken self now.

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52276

93. Wonderful.

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52278

94. Pam, when's the last time you lived so intensely that your brain literally couldn't hold the memories in?

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52280

95. Apparently, I left a phone message for Nellie last night, and I need you to find out what I said.

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52282

96. Yes, 'course. Why don't you list the things that would keep you from helping me.

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52284

97. Let's do it now. What's number one?

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52286

98. There we go.

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52288

99. Where's the Advil, Jim? I think I've hit my limit on the Tylenol ' Oh.

    Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52321

100. Andrew, what do we have to do to get rid of you? Hire you back and send Erin back to Florida?

     Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52323