Receptionist turned office administrator and Michael Scott Paper Company co-founder.
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It's just, like, so creepy.
Season 3 · Episode 21 · Quote 15772
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Oh, some guy exposed himself to Phyllis in the parking lot.
Season 3 · Episode 21 · Quote 15775
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Yeah, Bob Vance took her for a walk to calm down.
Season 3 · Episode 21 · Quote 15777
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It's disgusting and demeaning.
Season 3 · Episode 21 · Quote 15784
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Phallus?
Season 3 · Episode 21 · Quote 15819
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I don't often miss Roy. But I can tell you one thing. I wish someone had flashed me when I was with Roy. Because that would have been the ass-kicking of the year. Especially if it had been Jim. He would not have wanted me to have seen Jim's... Whoo, I am... I am saying a lot of things.
Season 3 · Episode 21 · Quote 15821
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That's OK. I don't feel like answering phones.
Season 3 · Episode 21 · Quote 15823
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'Sleeves down to the wrists, buttoned-up collars, and muted colors.' Nobody dress like that.
Season 3 · Episode 21 · Quote 15828
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Yeah.
Season 3 · Episode 21 · Quote 15873
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Uh, Phyllis got a good look.
Season 3 · Episode 21 · Quote 15875
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Oh.
Season 3 · Episode 21 · Quote 15878
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Oh, yeah. You really shouldn't litter.
Season 3 · Episode 21 · Quote 15881
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What do you want to dish about?
Season 3 · Episode 21 · Quote 15917
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OK. New topic. Kelly, how are things with Ryan?
Season 3 · Episode 21 · Quote 15919
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Michael, you shouldn't do anything that you're uncomfortable with.
Season 3 · Episode 21 · Quote 15928
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Oh, my God.
Season 3 · Episode 21 · Quote 15930
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Michael, you need to get out of this.
Season 3 · Episode 21 · Quote 15934
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No, normal women don't do stuff like that. This is bad.
Season 3 · Episode 21 · Quote 15936
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Read the pros first.
Season 3 · Episode 21 · Quote 15938
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What was the last one?
Season 3 · Episode 21 · Quote 15943
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Michael... you shouldn't be with someone who doesn't make you happy.
Season 3 · Episode 21 · Quote 15947
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Maybe. But it sounds like you're just wrong for each other.
Season 3 · Episode 21 · Quote 15951
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No one said it has no calories.
Season 3 · Episode 21 · Quote 15957
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I'm kind of in-between boyfriends right now. So I don't need anything sexy. But I do need some new hand towels. I figure I can cut up this robe.
Season 3 · Episode 21 · Quote 15970
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Don't answer it.
Season 3 · Episode 21 · Quote 15974
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Here, uh... Meredith? Why don't you put your hazards on.
Season 3 · Episode 21 · Quote 15981
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I think I've got it.
Season 3 · Episode 21 · Quote 15983
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I don't think we really need that, Michael.
Season 3 · Episode 21 · Quote 15985
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You know, I changed a tire today. All by myself. This bathrobe's already coming in handy. Coming!
Season 3 · Episode 21 · Quote 15987
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Good luck, Michael.
Season 3 · Episode 21 · Quote 15997
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Don't leave a -
Season 3 · Episode 21 · Quote 16001
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It is totally inappropriate, but on the other hand...
Season 3 · Episode 21 · Quote 16057
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About 40 times a year, Michael gets really sick, but has no symptoms. Dwight is always gravely concerned.
Season 3 · Episode 22 · Quote 16072
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Michael?
Season 3 · Episode 22 · Quote 16075
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David Wallace is on line one.
Season 3 · Episode 22 · Quote 16077
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Oh, great. I forgot mine and I'm wearing a two piece.
Season 3 · Episode 22 · Quote 16109
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Thanks Toby.
Season 3 · Episode 22 · Quote 16111
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I thought we were just having fun at the beach.
Season 3 · Episode 22 · Quote 16113
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You want me to write down people's indefinable qualities?
Season 3 · Episode 22 · Quote 16116
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I have the most boring job in the office, so... why wouldn't I have the most boring job on beach day?
Season 3 · Episode 22 · Quote 16118
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Like what?
Season 3 · Episode 22 · Quote 16131
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Well... no, I don't... exactly... what?
Season 3 · Episode 22 · Quote 16133
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There's nothing better than a beautiful day at the beach, filled with sun, surf, and uh... diligent note-taking.
Season 3 · Episode 22 · Quote 16188
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Does it have to do with these shopping bags filled with hot dogs?
Season 3 · Episode 22 · Quote 16193
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When's the contest?
Season 3 · Episode 22 · Quote 16195
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How am I supposed to... get...
Season 3 · Episode 22 · Quote 16197
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I think they're even. At various times you gave Jim ten points, Dwight a gold star, and Stanley a thumbs up. And I don't really know how to compare those units.
Season 3 · Episode 22 · Quote 16264
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I really doubt it, Michael.
Season 3 · Episode 22 · Quote 16266
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I'm gonna do it. And I fully expect to burn my feet and go to the hospital. That's the right spirit when doing a coal walk, right?
Season 3 · Episode 22 · Quote 16286
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I'd like to try it.
Season 3 · Episode 22 · Quote 16288
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But I'm not kidding. I really want to do it.
Season 3 · Episode 22 · Quote 16290
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Do you want us to count to three?
Season 3 · Episode 22 · Quote 16303
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Michael, do something!
Season 3 · Episode 22 · Quote 16320
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Oooh, uh hah, ooh! Wha-hoo! Ahhhh...
Season 3 · Episode 22 · Quote 16336
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Hey! I want to say something. I've been trying to be more honest lately and I just need to say a few things. I did the coal walk! Just, I did it! Michael, you couldn't even do that. Maybe I should be your boss? Wow, I feel really good right now. Why didn't any of you come to my art show? I invited all of you. That really sucked. It's like sometimes some of you act like I don't even exist. Jim, I called off my wedding because of you. And now we're not even friends. And things are just like weird between us, and that sucks. And I miss you. You were my best friend before you went to Stamford, and I really miss you. I shouldn't have been with Roy. And there were a lot of reasons to call off my wedding. But the truth is, I didn't care about any of those reasons until I met you. And now you're with someone else. And that's... fine. It's... whatever. That's not what... I'm not... Okay, my feet really hurt. The thing that I'm just trying to say to you, Jim... and to everyone else in this circle I guess, is that I miss having fun with you. Just you, not everyone in the circle. Okay, I am going to go walk in the water now. Yeah. It's a good day.
Season 3 · Episode 22 · Quote 16339
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Sometimes Michael gets nostalgic and he talks about the classic gang. That's Michael, me, Jim, Dwight, Angela, Kevin, Oscar, Stanley, Phyllis, Creed, Meredith, Kelly and Ryan. We're a regular Ocean's Eleven.
Season 3 · Episode 22 · Quote 16347
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Jim, David Wallace is calling for you.
Season 3 · Episode 22 · Quote 16348
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You remember you fired Roy for attacking Jim and I don't talk to him anymore really.
Season 3 · Episode 22 · Quote 16351
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Um, Karen left her blindfold on the longest but she also threw her egg at Jim.
Season 3 · Episode 22 · Quote 16393
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I think they were just having fun.
Season 3 · Episode 22 · Quote 16395
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It tells me nothing.
Season 3 · Episode 22 · Quote 16397
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There's 800 of them!
Season 3 · Episode 22 · Quote 16399
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Hey. I think it looks great.
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16469
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After I had my little outburst at the beach, Jim was really nice about it. He just basically said that he missed my friendship too and I would always mean a lot to him and I understand where he's coming from. For the record, I am not embarassed at all. It needed to be said, and I said it, and it only took me three years to summons the courage, so thank you.
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16471
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Hey.
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16483
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Um, about the beach...
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16485
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Oh, no it's not that, I've actually been thinking that for a long time, and I'm glad I said it. I just... I'm sorry if it made you feel weird.
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16487
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Wow, very funny.
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16522
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[smiles]
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16525
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He's from that company in Pitts...
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16569
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What do you want me to do?
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16581
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What about Meredith?
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16583
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So, um, Michael needs us in the conference room.
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16592
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Uh, sure.
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16595
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I really hope you get the job.
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16597
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Just don't get back together with her.
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16613
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This was a terrible relationship. You were not happy when you were with her.
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16617
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You're so much happier now. Just go in there and be strong.
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16619
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Right.
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16621
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Oh my God.
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16627
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That's crazy!
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16629
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Wow!
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16631
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No, it's fine. I'm sure it must have been weird for Jim when Roy and I were joking around... that
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16637
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Good luck.
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16654
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I'm happy for him. I hope he gets the job. I really just want him to be happy. And I know that sounds cliche. And I know saying it sounds cliche, sounds cliche... Maybe I'm being cliche. I don't care. Cause I am what I am. That's Popeye.
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16656
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What happened?
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16687
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Thank you.
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16731
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Really?
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16733
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You will be your own assistant.
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16735
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Okay. So... you would be the Regional Manager,
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16737
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Mm-hmm.
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16739
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Absolutely, I do.
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16741
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I learned from Jim, if Dwight ever asks you to accept something secret... you reply, 'Absolutely, I do.'
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16742
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Then who do you think will get the job?
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16755
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What is the cash value of a Schrute Buck?
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16762
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I literally cannot wait to see what Dwight has planned. And I wish Jim were here.
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16770
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HEY! COME ON! Let's listen to Dwight's presentation!
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16806
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How'd it go?
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16886
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Did... Karen get the job?
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16896
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Dwight, hello.
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16899