Jim Halpert Quotes from The Office (page 2)

Salesman, prank enthusiast, permanent camera confidant.

6,816 quotes · page 2 of 69

1. Mmm hmm.

   Season 1 · Episode 3 · Quote 722

2. Yep.

   Season 1 · Episode 3 · Quote 724

3. Good luck.

   Season 1 · Episode 3 · Quote 726

4. Jim Halpert.

   Season 1 · Episode 3 · Quote 729

5. Who is this?

   Season 1 · Episode 3 · Quote 731

6. No, you can't fire me.

   Season 1 · Episode 3 · Quote 733

7. OK, can you hold on? I'm getting the, ah, beep.] Jim Halpert.

   Season 1 · Episode 3 · Quote 735

8. Hey Pam! How are you?

   Season 1 · Episode 3 · Quote 737

9. I'm doing OK. Getting excited for the weekend though. What are you up to?

   Season 1 · Episode 3 · Quote 740

10. No, not at all.

    Season 1 · Episode 3 · Quote 743

11. I have nothing to do.

    Season 1 · Episode 3 · Quote 745

12. Oh yeah?

    Season 1 · Episode 3 · Quote 749

13. The mall?

    Season 1 · Episode 3 · Quote 751

14. Oh, interesting, what kind of shoes?

    Season 1 · Episode 3 · Quote 754

15. Okay, here's uh, this is very simple. 'Dwight's Workspace,' nice.

    Season 1 · Episode 3 · Quote 826

16. Um, this one interesting the power comes from the font in this one. 'Schrute Space,' very medieval, very England. Um, this one's forceful, this one's very Dwight. 'Quiet! Dwight Schrute Working,' it's good.

    Season 1 · Episode 3 · Quote 828

17. I really heard him on that. This one's interesting I'm not really sure what he meant by this. Um, 'Dwight Schrute Privates.' Tough to say.

    Season 1 · Episode 3 · Quote 830

18. Okay, you know what, Dwight. What if you got a really serious disease like Ebola.

    Season 1 · Episode 3 · Quote 832

19. Well, it could happen. Have you ever seen the movie Outbreak?

    Season 1 · Episode 3 · Quote 834

20. Okay. Have you ever seen the movie Sixth Sense? Maybe you are already dead.

    Season 1 · Episode 3 · Quote 836

21. Dwight, I uh, I have something to confess.

    Season 1 · Episode 3 · Quote 871

22. Um...

    Season 1 · Episode 3 · Quote 873

23. You're a jackass.

    Season 1 · Episode 3 · Quote 875

24. No. Was that the hard way?

    Season 1 · Episode 3 · Quote 877

25. Well, then why are you wasting everybody else's time interrogating them?

    Season 1 · Episode 3 · Quote 879

26. Right.

    Season 1 · Episode 3 · Quote 881

27. Okay.

    Season 1 · Episode 3 · Quote 883

28. Wait, slow down.

    Season 1 · Episode 3 · Quote 885

29. One second 'cause that sounds really good. Is jackass one word or two? One, right? 'Cause, 'cause of the show, it's one.

    Season 1 · Episode 3 · Quote 887

30. Absolutely, I do.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 938

31. At that moment, I was so happy. I mean, everything Dwight does annoys me.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 940

32. To what?

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 942

33. And I spend hours thinking of ways to get back at him, but only in ways that could get me arrested. And then here he comes and he says 'No, Jim, here's a way.'

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 944

34. Oh yeah.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 947

35. I think it has something to do with Survivor, but I'm not sure.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 949

36. Um, I know that it involves spying on people and we may build a fort, underground.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 950

37. What? No.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 953

38. What? Oh no no no. Dwight, no. I'm using her, for the alliance. Who knows the most information about this office? Pam.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 955

39. Well I'm trying to. Do you see what I'm doing?

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 957

40. But listen, I'm going to have to talk to her a lot. All right? And there may be chatting, and giggling. And you gotta just pretend to ignore it. Wipe it away.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 959

41. All right.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 961

42. Yeah, what do you think that's about?

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 964

43. I'm on it.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 966

44. You are not going to believe this.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 967

45. Well, tensions were high in the kitchen.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 969

46. Hey Kev, that looks good. What is it? Turkey?

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 971

47. Oh, Italian. Nice. Wow! You got the works there. Red onion, provolone...

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 973

48. Toby and Kevin, they're trying to get Angela kicked off.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 975

49. Well, I don't know, if Kevin's in accounting, and Toby's in Human Resources and they're talking...

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 977

50. I love their sandwiches too.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 980

51. Their bread is very good.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 982

52. OK, listen, we need to assume that everyone in the office is forming an alliance and is therefore trying to get us kicked off.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 984

53. Because we're strong, Dwight. Because we're strong.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 986

54. Sure, what's up?

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 1000

55. Oh no?

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 1002

56. No, will not, I'm not going to tell anybody. This is between you and me.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 1004

57. That was beautiful. All her idea too. Awesome. She is so great.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 1007

58. OK, here's the deal. All right? Pam says that one of the alliances is meeting in the warehouse during Meredith's birthday.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 1021

59. I know, but it's gonna be a little tough because there's no good place to hide there.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 1023

60. What? What?

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 1025

61. Great.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 1027

62. Good.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 1030

63. Wait, this isn't gonna work. The lid's open.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 1033

64. I can't do that. You won't be able to breathe.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 1035

65. Thank you, thank you. OK.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 1037

66. So do you want me to stay here and, you know, stand next to the box?

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 1045

67. Right... That's good.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 1047

68. Pam, he's in a box. He's downstairs, in a box, on the floor, near the shelves. I'm serious. Go down there and work your magic.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 1062

69. Speaking of which, I meant to tell you. Very impressive, the uh, donation you gave to Oscar's charity. What was it? 25 bucks?

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 1066

70. Yeah, well, three dollars a mile. It's gonna end up being like 50 bucks. So... God, I can't even calculate what you're gonna have to give.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 1068

71. OK, OK. I have something that totally tops the box.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 1116

72. OK. I have just convinced Dwight that he needs to go to Stamford and...... spy on our other branch. No no no.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 1118

73. But before he does so, I told him that he should dye his hair to go undercover.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 1119

74. If we can get him to drive to Connecticut... and put peroxide in his hair...

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 1121

75. No, no, dude, no.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 1123

76. No, dude, no, I was just, listen! Whoa.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 1125

77. God, I don't even, I don't even know how to explain this. Uh, um... Dwight, uh, asked me to be in an alliance. And then um... um... we were... we've just been messing with him. Uh, because of the whole alliance thing. Um...

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 1127

78. It's stupid. It's, it's just office pranks.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 1129

79. No thanks.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 1136

80. No one wants to be you, Dwight.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 1138

81. Is your password Frodo?

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 1140

82. Did you just change it to Gollum?

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 1142

83. Hey Dwight, my tuna sandwich isn't in the refrigerator. You wouldn't know anything about that would you?

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 1173

84. It was not rotting.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 1175

85. Stop. Dwight, stop.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 1177

86. Dwight, you wrote that memo. Okay, it's not an official memo.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 1179

87. Dwight, it's not a factory at all. Do you have to do what you are doing?

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 1181

88. We need to assume that everyone in the office is forming an alliance and is therefore trying to get us kicked off.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 1186

89. Because we're strong, Dwight. Because we're strong. God, it's freezing, I gotta go in. You stay though for like five minutes.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 1188

90. You don't want to arouse suspicion.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 1190

91. Good. I like it. You know what. Pretend to smoke.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 1192

92. Uh, by the way. Have you heard Dwight say the word immunity, yet? Because if I can get Dwight to say the word immunity, it might be the greatest day of my life.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Quote 1200

93. God, this is so sad. This is the smallest amount of power I've ever seen go to someone's head. Phyllis, can you believe this?

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1273

94. Pam gets a little down. Her toaster oven broke. Um, which she got at her engagement shower. Um, for a wedding that still has yet to be set... and that was three years ago.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1289

95. That's him.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1304

96. Uh, I heard it.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1312

97. Oh my God.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1338

98. I'll do it. Wear a little flouncey skirt if you want, and...

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1344

99. Basketball? It was kind of my thing in high school. And I'm, yeah, I'm looking forward to playing. You know, I think I'm gonna impress a few people in here.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1361

100. You coming down?

     Season 1 · Episode 5 · Quote 1362