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Jim Halpert Quotes from The Office (page 2)

Salesman, prank enthusiast, permanent camera confidant.

6,816 quotes · page 2 of 69

  1. Mmm hmm.

    Season 1 · Episode 3 · Line 722

  2. Yep.

    Season 1 · Episode 3 · Line 724

  3. Good luck.

    Season 1 · Episode 3 · Line 726

  4. Jim Halpert.

    Season 1 · Episode 3 · Line 729

  5. Who is this?

    Season 1 · Episode 3 · Line 731

  6. No, you can't fire me.

    Season 1 · Episode 3 · Line 733

  7. OK, can you hold on? I'm getting the, ah, beep.] Jim Halpert.

    Season 1 · Episode 3 · Line 735

  8. Hey Pam! How are you?

    Season 1 · Episode 3 · Line 737

  9. I'm doing OK. Getting excited for the weekend though. What are you up to?

    Season 1 · Episode 3 · Line 740

  10. No, not at all.

    Season 1 · Episode 3 · Line 743

  11. I have nothing to do.

    Season 1 · Episode 3 · Line 745

  12. Oh yeah?

    Season 1 · Episode 3 · Line 749

  13. The mall?

    Season 1 · Episode 3 · Line 751

  14. Oh, interesting, what kind of shoes?

    Season 1 · Episode 3 · Line 754

  15. Okay, here's uh, this is very simple. 'Dwight's Workspace,' nice.

    Season 1 · Episode 3 · Line 826

  16. Um, this one interesting the power comes from the font in this one. 'Schrute Space,' very medieval, very England. Um, this one's forceful, this one's very Dwight. 'Quiet! Dwight Schrute Working,' it's good.

    Season 1 · Episode 3 · Line 828

  17. I really heard him on that. This one's interesting I'm not really sure what he meant by this. Um, 'Dwight Schrute Privates.' Tough to say.

    Season 1 · Episode 3 · Line 830

  18. Okay, you know what, Dwight. What if you got a really serious disease like Ebola.

    Season 1 · Episode 3 · Line 832

  19. Well, it could happen. Have you ever seen the movie Outbreak?

    Season 1 · Episode 3 · Line 834

  20. Okay. Have you ever seen the movie Sixth Sense? Maybe you are already dead.

    Season 1 · Episode 3 · Line 836

  21. Dwight, I uh, I have something to confess.

    Season 1 · Episode 3 · Line 871

  22. Um...

    Season 1 · Episode 3 · Line 873

  23. You're a jackass.

    Season 1 · Episode 3 · Line 875

  24. No. Was that the hard way?

    Season 1 · Episode 3 · Line 877

  25. Well, then why are you wasting everybody else's time interrogating them?

    Season 1 · Episode 3 · Line 879

  26. Right.

    Season 1 · Episode 3 · Line 881

  27. Okay.

    Season 1 · Episode 3 · Line 883

  28. Wait, slow down.

    Season 1 · Episode 3 · Line 885

  29. One second 'cause that sounds really good. Is jackass one word or two? One, right? 'Cause, 'cause of the show, it's one.

    Season 1 · Episode 3 · Line 887

  30. Absolutely, I do.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Line 938

  31. At that moment, I was so happy. I mean, everything Dwight does annoys me.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Line 940

  32. To what?

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Line 942

  33. And I spend hours thinking of ways to get back at him, but only in ways that could get me arrested. And then here he comes and he says 'No, Jim, here's a way.'

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Line 944

  34. Oh yeah.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Line 947

  35. I think it has something to do with Survivor, but I'm not sure.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Line 949

  36. Um, I know that it involves spying on people and we may build a fort, underground.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Line 950

  37. What? No.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Line 953

  38. What? Oh no no no. Dwight, no. I'm using her, for the alliance. Who knows the most information about this office? Pam.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Line 955

  39. Well I'm trying to. Do you see what I'm doing?

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Line 957

  40. But listen, I'm going to have to talk to her a lot. All right? And there may be chatting, and giggling. And you gotta just pretend to ignore it. Wipe it away.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Line 959

  41. All right.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Line 961

  42. Yeah, what do you think that's about?

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Line 964

  43. I'm on it.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Line 966

  44. You are not going to believe this.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Line 967

  45. Well, tensions were high in the kitchen.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Line 969

  46. Hey Kev, that looks good. What is it? Turkey?

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Line 971

  47. Oh, Italian. Nice. Wow! You got the works there. Red onion, provolone...

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Line 973

  48. Toby and Kevin, they're trying to get Angela kicked off.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Line 975

  49. Well, I don't know, if Kevin's in accounting, and Toby's in Human Resources and they're talking...

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Line 977

  50. I love their sandwiches too.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Line 980

  51. Their bread is very good.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Line 982

  52. OK, listen, we need to assume that everyone in the office is forming an alliance and is therefore trying to get us kicked off.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Line 984

  53. Because we're strong, Dwight. Because we're strong.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Line 986

  54. Sure, what's up?

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Line 1000

  55. Oh no?

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Line 1002

  56. No, will not, I'm not going to tell anybody. This is between you and me.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Line 1004

  57. That was beautiful. All her idea too. Awesome. She is so great.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Line 1007

  58. OK, here's the deal. All right? Pam says that one of the alliances is meeting in the warehouse during Meredith's birthday.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Line 1021

  59. I know, but it's gonna be a little tough because there's no good place to hide there.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Line 1023

  60. What? What?

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Line 1025

  61. Great.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Line 1027

  62. Good.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Line 1030

  63. Wait, this isn't gonna work. The lid's open.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Line 1033

  64. I can't do that. You won't be able to breathe.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Line 1035

  65. Thank you, thank you. OK.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Line 1037

  66. So do you want me to stay here and, you know, stand next to the box?

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Line 1045

  67. Right... That's good.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Line 1047

  68. Pam, he's in a box. He's downstairs, in a box, on the floor, near the shelves. I'm serious. Go down there and work your magic.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Line 1062

  69. Speaking of which, I meant to tell you. Very impressive, the uh, donation you gave to Oscar's charity. What was it? 25 bucks?

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Line 1066

  70. Yeah, well, three dollars a mile. It's gonna end up being like 50 bucks. So... God, I can't even calculate what you're gonna have to give.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Line 1068

  71. OK, OK. I have something that totally tops the box.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Line 1116

  72. OK. I have just convinced Dwight that he needs to go to Stamford and...... spy on our other branch. No no no.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Line 1118

  73. But before he does so, I told him that he should dye his hair to go undercover.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Line 1119

  74. If we can get him to drive to Connecticut... and put peroxide in his hair...

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Line 1121

  75. No, no, dude, no.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Line 1123

  76. No, dude, no, I was just, listen! Whoa.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Line 1125

  77. God, I don't even, I don't even know how to explain this. Uh, um... Dwight, uh, asked me to be in an alliance. And then um... um... we were... we've just been messing with him. Uh, because of the whole alliance thing. Um...

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Line 1127

  78. It's stupid. It's, it's just office pranks.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Line 1129

  79. No thanks.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Line 1136

  80. No one wants to be you, Dwight.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Line 1138

  81. Is your password Frodo?

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Line 1140

  82. Did you just change it to Gollum?

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Line 1142

  83. Hey Dwight, my tuna sandwich isn't in the refrigerator. You wouldn't know anything about that would you?

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Line 1173

  84. It was not rotting.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Line 1175

  85. Stop. Dwight, stop.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Line 1177

  86. Dwight, you wrote that memo. Okay, it's not an official memo.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Line 1179

  87. Dwight, it's not a factory at all. Do you have to do what you are doing?

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Line 1181

  88. We need to assume that everyone in the office is forming an alliance and is therefore trying to get us kicked off.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Line 1186

  89. Because we're strong, Dwight. Because we're strong. God, it's freezing, I gotta go in. You stay though for like five minutes.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Line 1188

  90. You don't want to arouse suspicion.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Line 1190

  91. Good. I like it. You know what. Pretend to smoke.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Line 1192

  92. Uh, by the way. Have you heard Dwight say the word immunity, yet? Because if I can get Dwight to say the word immunity, it might be the greatest day of my life.

    Season 1 · Episode 4 · Line 1200

  93. God, this is so sad. This is the smallest amount of power I've ever seen go to someone's head. Phyllis, can you believe this?

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1273

  94. Pam gets a little down. Her toaster oven broke. Um, which she got at her engagement shower. Um, for a wedding that still has yet to be set... and that was three years ago.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1289

  95. That's him.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1304

  96. Uh, I heard it.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1312

  97. Oh my God.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1338

  98. I'll do it. Wear a little flouncey skirt if you want, and...

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1344

  99. Basketball? It was kind of my thing in high school. And I'm, yeah, I'm looking forward to playing. You know, I think I'm gonna impress a few people in here.

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1361

  100. You coming down?

    Season 1 · Episode 5 · Line 1362