Every line from The Office season 9, episode 8, in script order. First aired November 29, 2012.
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Oscar
Yesterday, Angela may or may not have figured out that I'm having an affair with her husband. So I just have to wait and see. When she comes in, if she's cold and awkward and cruel to me, then great, it's business as usual.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54748
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Oscar
Good morning.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54749
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Angela
Oscar... can I ask you a question?
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54750
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Oscar
Of course, ask me a que-- questions.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54751
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Angela
Is it cool in here to you?
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54752
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Oscar
Yes, a little bit. Yes.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54753
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Angela
I think the thermostat is acting up again.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54754
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Oscar
It's the stupid thermostat! That thing is a catastrophe. So I'm gonna, um, on your suggestion, get someone to fix it. I'll just go downstairs.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54755
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Angela
Thank you.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54756
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Oscar
No, thank you, Angela.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54757
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Oscar
She doesn't know. I shouldn't be surprised. This is a woman who married a man who is obviously a homosexual. Basically, she has her head in the sand. In a way I feel sorry for her. I guess the universe rewards true love.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54758
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Dwight
Well, well, well, it's finally happened. Pam has ceased caring.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54759
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Pam
These are my painting clothes.I think I'm gonna do it. I am really gonna start painting the warehouse mural today.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54760
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Meredith
Sure you don't want to put another coat of primer on that Pam?Queen of the primer, that one.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54761
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Jim
You got this, Beesley. Actually, do you want me to come down and help you get started?
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54762
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Pam
Are you avoiding your phone call?
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54763
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Jim
What? Yeah, right. As if.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54764
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Jim
Today I will be asking David Wallace if I can start working part-time, because the sports marketing company that I started really needs me to be there.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54765
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Pam
Last week Jim wasn't there, and they named the company Athlead.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54766
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Jim
I could have prevented that. So I have to talk to Wallace.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54767
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Pam
Tell them your opening line.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54768
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Jim
Hey David, how would you like a guy who's not here as much, gets paid the same amount of salary, and has bigger fish to fry in Philadelphia?
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54769
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Pam
I think it's good. He likes fishing.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54770
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Jim
This is gonna be awful.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54771
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Pete
One of my jobs is to input customer complaints into the computer. And when they're in, I fill out one of these cards. But the information's already on the computer, so....why am I filling out the card? I asked Andy, and he told me to 'chillax,' and then went away on a big, long boat ride. So here we are. Don't give me a pointless office chore, because I will build a little paper house. Fight the power.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54772
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Angela
Meet me in the old place, five minutes. I need you.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54773
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Angela
Ugh!
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54774
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Dwight
Come on in, the water's fine.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54775
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Angela
Dwight, it's not that kind of meeting. Put your clothes back on.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54776
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Dwight
I know. That's not why I'm naked. I always work out without my clothes.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54777
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Angela
Just put them on! Put on your clothes. I need your help. I need someone who can operate outside of the law. Ugh.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54778
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Dwight
Oh, I'm sorry, your vigilante privileges ended when you broke up with me. If I'm not in your panties, I don't go vigilantes. Why don't you ask your husband?
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54779
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Angela
My marriage is in danger. I don't know who I can trust. I need someone to be there for me.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54780
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Dwight
All right, what are we talking? Surveillance, wire-tapping?
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54781
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Angela
Something like that.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54782
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Dwight
Yeah, the less I know, the better. I know just the guy. He was a volunteer sheriff too. Kicked off the force.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54783
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Angela
Can you arrange a meeting?
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54784
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Dwight
I can try. I'm gonna use SMS text.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54785
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Angela
Okay.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54786
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Dwight
Text went through.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54787
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Angela
Okay.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54788
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Dwight
All we can do is sit and wait.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54789
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Angela
Okay.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54790
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Dwight
Oh, look at that. Yeah, he's free anytime. Not a problem.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54791
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Jim
I mean, I can handle any client issues from Philly.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54792
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David
Yeah, but I really need someone in the office. If there's a crisis -- the more I think about it --
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54793
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Jim
Oh, you mean handle it in person. Oh, well, Phyllis and Stanley have agree to cover for me while I'm gone.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54794
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David
They did?
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54795
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Jim
Yep.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54796
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David
Oh, okay. Well, that is different. In that case, yes-- Maybe this can work.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54797
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Jim
Oh, great.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54798
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Stanley
Why should we help you?
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54799
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Jim
Because we're friends.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54800
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Stanley
When is my birthday?
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54801
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Jim
Unfair. When's my birthday?
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54802
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Stanley
I don't know, because we're not friends.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54803
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Jim
How about this-- You let me take you to lunch, and I make my case?
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54804
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Stanley
Now we're talkin'.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54805
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Jim
All right.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54806
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Phyllis
Yeah.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54807
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Kevin
Make it go taller.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54808
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Pete
That's the idea.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54809
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Kevin
No, not taller this way, taller this way.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54810
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Pete
Well, I've gotta build a wider base first before I can go higher.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54811
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Kevin
You're not getting this, Peter. Make it go wider... up!
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54812
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Pete
Will do.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54813
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Darryl
What are y'all doing?
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54814
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Kevin
Me and Pete are building a tower.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54815
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Darryl
Cool. It should be taller though, right?
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54816
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Kevin
Obviously. He's a sweet kid, Darryl. But he's not the sharpest guy in the drawer.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54817
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Pete
Kevin, I can hear you.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54818
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Kevin
Huh?
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54819
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Angela
Ow! Dwight! Ow!
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54820
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Dwight
Get in the van.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54821
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Angela
God!
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54822
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Trevor
Is it safe to talk?
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54823
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Dwight
Well, this documentary crew has been following our every move for the past nine years, but I don't see them so I think we're good.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54824
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Angela
So what are your credentials?
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54825
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Trevor
I started following people around to get exercise. Turns out, I'm damn good at it.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54826
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Angela
Do you have a gun?
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54827
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Dwight
Does he own a gun? Show her.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54828
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Trevor
You tell me.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54829
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Angela
What is this?
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54830
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Trevor
It's the receipt for my gun.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54831
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Angela
You don't carry it with you?
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54832
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Trevor
Read the receipt. That's a $300 gun. Someone could steal it.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54833
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Dwight
Do you have any idea how many guns Trevor's had stolen from him?
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54834
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Trevor
Now I keep it in a safe.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54835
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Dwight
Mm-hmm. Good safe?
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54836
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Trevor
Oh, you tell me.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54837
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Dwight
Wow!
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54838
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Pam
I guess if I make a mistake, I can just paint over it with a shrub or something. It's just, I think less of paintings with a lot of shrubs. So, I'm gonna limit myself to one shrub.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54839
-
Hide
You paint wall now?
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54840
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Pam
Yeah. Painting now. I just want to make sure that...
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54841
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Hide
You paint now.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54842
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Pam
It's probably gonna be a few minutes. So you can just go back to doing whatever you were doing.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54843
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Hide
I wait.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54844
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Meredith
Sweet.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54845
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Erin
Yay!
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54846
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Darryl
That's what I'm talkin' about.
Season 9 · Episode 8 · Line 54847