Every line from The Office season 9, episode 23, in script order. First aired May 16, 2013.
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Ryan
I finally mastered commitment.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59788
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Kevin
What was that stuff?
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59789
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Ravi
Hey, has anyone seen Ryan' or Kelly?
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59790
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Kevin
Ooh! Yes. Uh, They left together a little while ago. Kelly was hoping that you would keep the baby so they can start a new life together.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59791
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Ravi
Oh, that's it. Here. Call child services and report an abandoned baby. We'll find a better parent than Ryan in no time.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59792
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Kevin
Oh, I don't know.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59793
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Nellie
Um, Kevin? Oh, I can help you with that. Yeah. I mean, I can find someone who will' who will love that beautiful little boy the way he deserves.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59794
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Kevin
Hey, this is better.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59795
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Nellie
Yes. It is. Oh yes it is.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59796
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Nellie
If Ryan wants his baby back, please tell him where to fine me. We'll be somewhere in Europe. Won't we?
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59797
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Michael
I feel like all my kids grew up and then they married each other. It's every parent's dream.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59798
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Darryl
Thank you go much.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59799
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Dwight
Good night.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59800
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Toby
Good luck.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59801
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Val
Great. It was really fun.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59802
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Dwight
Good evening.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59803
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Val
The Doc crew's throwing a big after party in the warehouse tonight.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59804
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Darryl
Yeah, I heard. It sounds kinda lame. No offense. You going, Toby?
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59805
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Toby
Oh, I don't know. I might turn in early.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59806
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Andy
It's only 6:00. Come on, everybody's going.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59807
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Meredith
You have to go, Toby.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59808
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Pete
Yeah, come on, Tobes.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59809
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Val
Come on.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59810
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Toby
Yeah. I'll stop by.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59811
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Pete
There he is!
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59812
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Pam
I need to get out of this dress.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59813
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Jim
I gotta get out of this dress.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59814
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Carol Stills
Oh, I'm sorry Pam.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59815
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Jim
What's going on?
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59816
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Pam
Why are you still here?
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59817
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Carol
I'm so sorry. They were an hour late.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59818
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Jim
No, really, what's going on?
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59819
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Pam
Okay, Okay. Um' so' this past year has been really great, and you've been great and I just' I know that you had to make this choice and you had to give something up for me. But I never want you to have to give up anything. I just thought if I could get us an offer then there wouldn't be anything standing in our way and I could come to you with this big Jim gesture' and show you all at once just how much I love you and how much I really do believe in your future.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59820
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Jim
Sorry, how long have you been showing the house?
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59821
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Pam
About 2 months
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59822
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Jim
That's why it's so clean.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59823
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Pam
Yeah.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59824
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Jim
I mean, you were gonna do this without me?
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59825
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Pam
Well, you' you bought the house without telling me, so I thought I could sell it without telling you.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59826
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Jim
Oh' okay. Where would we go?
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59827
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Pam
Austin? Maybe.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59828
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Jim
I promise you, you don't have to do this for me.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59829
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Pam
I'm doing it for us.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59830
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Jim
The last'
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59831
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Buyer
Okay. We'll take it.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59832
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Jim
Hold on a second. The last few months have meant the world to me and all I care about'
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59833
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Pam
Hold on a second. Wait, what did you just say?
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59834
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Buyer
We wanna buy your house.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59835
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Jim
You wanna do this?
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59836
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Pam
I wanna do this.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59837
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Jim
You really want to do this?
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59838
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Pam
I really want to do this!
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59839
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Jim
Oh my God!
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59840
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Jim
Hey, Darryl.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59841
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Darryl
What? All right!
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59842
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Pam
We're so excited.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59843
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Phyllis
Cool.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59844
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Woman
Oh, that's for PBS executives only.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59845
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Stanley
I had to pledge $50 to my local PBS station just to get this.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59846
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David Wallace
I think your ideas are fantastic, Oscar. I'd love to contribute to your campaign.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59847
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Oscar
Thank you David.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59848
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Pam
Uh, could I please have your attention? So a year ago, I got my first art commission to paint a mural for Dunder Mifflin and I decided to paint the history of paper',which was just some trees and stuff. And then someone spray painted a bunch of butts on it and I had to start from the beginning. But it all worked out for the best because I think that I've painted the perfect thing which is the history of us. All of us. And this is for you Jim. And go ahead!
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59849
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Pam
Everyone, Let's take our picture in front of the mural. Oh, um, I just'I kind of meant just everybody from the office.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59850
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Photographer
Very nice. Just a couple dozen more. Smiles, everybody, smiles. All right, that's great. I got enough. Thank you, everybody.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59851
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Jim
Let's go outside
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59852
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Pam
Okay.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59853
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Stanley
Okay, I need a drink.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59854
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Kevin
Yeah, we all need a drink. What the'there's only dandelion tea and raisins in here.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59855
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Meredith
Hey, bottom drawer.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59856
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Kevin
Yes!
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59857
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Pam
Dunder Mifflin, This is Pam. Oh, I'm sorry. Jim Halpert doesn't work here anymore.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59858
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Pam
I didn't watch the whole documentary. After a few episodes, it was too painful. I kept wanting to scream at Pam. It took me so long to do so many important things. It's just hard to accept that I spent so many years being less happy than I could have been. Jim was 5 feet from my desk and it took me four years to get to him. It'd be great if people saw this documentary and learned from my mistakes. Not that I'm a tragic person. I'm really happy now. But'it would just'just make my heart soar if someone out there saw this and she said to herself 'be strong, trust yourself, love yourself. Conquer your fears. Just go after what you want and act fast, because life just isn't that long.'
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59859
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Kevin
If there is one thing that I have learned through this whole experience, it's that if you film anybody long enough, they're going to do something stupid. It's only human natural.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59860
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Dwight
Hey guys.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59861
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Angela
Hi.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59862
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All
Hey!
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59863
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Pam
What about the honeymoon?
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59864
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Angela
Oh, the honeymoon can wait till tomorrow. We wanted to hang out with you guys. I mean, when are we all going to be here together again?
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59865
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Dwight
Aww, J, P and D. The Three Amigos. Ah, it warms my heart. Hey, what do you say, when I get back from out honeymoon, the three of us have a conference room meeting just for fun? What is that meaningful look?
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59866
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Jim
You know what? Maybe we should talk.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59867
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Darryl
Hey, come here. You guys need to see this.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59868
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Kevin
What is it?
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59869
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Andy
You're probably sitting there wondering what will be your mark. What will you be known for? It might surprise you to learn...
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59870
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Pam
I finally feel ready. Athlead is growing'
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59871
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Jim
Athleap.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59872
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Pam
And Jim can jump back in without skipping a beat. We'll come back to visit. But I think it's time for us to officially'
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59873
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Dwight
No, don't say it. You're fired! You're both fired!
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59874
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Jim
Dwight, come on. Don't end on a bad note.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59875
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Dwight
Don't be an idiot. It's for the severance. The best I can do one month for every year you've been here. That's the max.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59876
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Pam
Thanks Dwight.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59877
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Jim
Hey, and if you're ever in Austin...
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59878
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Dwight
Woah. Right. For what, the art? The music? The incredible nightlife? No thank you. But if you're ever in the area, you'll always have a place to stay'in my barn.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59879
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Jim
There it is.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59880
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Dwight
Do I get along with my co-workers? Well, first of all, I don't have co-workers anymore, I have subordinates. So' have I gotten along with my subordinates? Let's see. My supplier relations rep, Meredith Palmer, is the only person I know who knows how to properly head bang to Motorhead. Oscar Martinez, my accountant, is now godfather to my son. Angela Schrute, my former accountant is now my wife. My top salesman, Jim Halpert was best man at my wedding and office administrator Pamela Beesley Halpert is my best friend. So'yes. I'd say I have gotten along with my subordinates.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59881
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Andy
You might feel sorry for me but I actually feel sorry for you. Because you're about to leave Cornell. So say it with me:: Oh, I can so just sit here and cry.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59882
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Kevin
Oh, Yes!
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59883
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Darryl
You did good. Real good.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59884
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Andy
Thanks Dad...Darryl.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59885
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Andy
I spent so much of my time here at Dunder Mifflin thinking about my old pals, my college a cappella group. The weird thing is now, I'm exactly where I wanna be. I got my dream job at Cornell and I'm still just thinking about my old pals. Only now they're the ones I made here. I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them. Someone should write a song about that.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59886
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Oscar
You take something ordinary, like a piece of paper. It's not much. But if you see it in the right way'And that's what you did with this documentary. But seriously, you made a nine-year documentary and you couldn't once show me doing my origami.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59887