Moderator

We're gonna move on. Next question please.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59688

Man 3

Do you find that your life feels pointless now that nobody's actually filming you anymore?

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59689

Toby

Yes.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59690

Woman 3

I wanna know how everyone felt they were portrayed. Was it accurate?

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59691

Meredith

I got a beef with that. Um, for the first seven years, I was getting my PhD in School Psychology and they didn't show it. Yes, I was getting hammered but, hey, it was college.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59692

Woman 4

I have a question for Jim and Pam. Everyone watching sees how much you love each other and how you're soul mates. So, Pam, how could you doubt that when Jim moved to Philadelphia?

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59693

Jim

Um, you know what, I actually didn't handle that move, uh, very gracefully. From not communicating to being a little selfish.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59694

Pam

Listen, um' I was scared, you know? I loved what I had, and I didn't want to risk it. And I think that maybe I did doubt him a little too. Which was wrong because he's shown me time and again. But when the documentary started airing, people on the street told me that I had this fairy-tale romance. But there were a lot of times last year where it did not feel like a fairy tale. But then it got deeper, and it got stronger and now it's better than a fairy tale. It's like a long book that you never want to end. And you're fine with that because you just never, ever wanna leave it.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59695

Woman 4

Like Harry Potter.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59696

Pam

Yeah, like Harry Potter.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59697

Joan

I have a question for Erin.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59698

Erin

Really?

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59699

Joan

Yes. Um, the thing I found most compelling about the documentary was your search for your birth mother.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59700

Erin

Thank you.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59701

Joan

So my question is, um, do' don't you hate her? I mean, I would just imagine that you were so angry at her that you would hate her.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59702

Erin

Maybe sometimes. But not like 'hate' hate. More just like, 'Mom, I hate you!' And then she would say 'go to your room, young lady.' And I'd stamp my foot and run upstairs and I have a room, which is really cool. And then we'd just have dinner together. But I don't know. I'd have to meet her. Thanks.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59703

Joan

Erin'

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59704

Erin

Yes?

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59705

Joan

Um'Oh, Erin..

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59706

Erin

Yes? Is there a follow-up question? Mom?

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59707

Ed

Erin' Same question but about your dad?

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59708

Moderator

Well, this feels like a good place to stop. Let's thank all of our wonderful panelists for being here on this wonderful panel today. Next week at the Scranton Cultural Center don't forget, Irish Step Dancing semifinals. Winning team to Mid-Atlantic.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59709

Kevin

Where's the, uh, basket for gifts?

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59710

Usher

Right there, sir.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59711

Kevin

Okay.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59712

Dakota

Hi, I'm Dakota.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59713

Creed

Jeff Bomondo. I sell ceramic tile out of Newark.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59714

Dakota

Nice.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59715

Creed

My wife's name is Kathryn. I can show you my social security card if it helps.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59716

Kelly

Uck, Look at all this mud. Can you imagine if I had worn my Jimmy Choos? I just saved you 600 bucks mister.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59717

Ravi

Thanks for helping out, sweetie.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59718

Ryan

Kelly, you're here.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59719

Kelly

Hey, Ryan!

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59720

Ryan

Hey.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59721

Kelly

Whose baby is this? Oh, are, like, a nanny now?

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59722

Ryan

No, this little guy is mine.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59723

Ryan

So I was dating this girl, and one day, she went out to get a new charger for her e-cigarette. Never came back. Oldest story in the book.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59724

Ryan

Say 'hi', Drake.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59725

Kelly

Drake is your baby's name?

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59726

Ryan

Yeah.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59727

Kelly

That is an amazing name. I'm obsessed with Drake. His last album' it just touched me to pieces.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59728

Ryan

No Kelly, he's not named after a hip-hop artist from 2011. It's Drake, like a mix of Drew and Blake.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59729

Kelly

Cool. Well, he is so cute. Ravi, check out this cute baby. I'm obsessed with him. Ravi is a pediatrician and some of his patients are total uggos.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59730

Ravi

They're called premature, sweetie. It's good to see you again Ryan.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59731

Phyllis

Let me help you us.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59732

Angela

Thanks. Oh. Ouch.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59733

Pam

Oh, boy. Maybe your heels are too high.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59734

Angela

No, my heels aren't too high. It's because I spent three hours in a car trunk. Thanks for not locking the door when I asked you to, Phyllis. Sorry Phyllis. You didn't know. As long as I can get to the altar.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59735

Phyllis

Oh, I'm gonna get you to that altar. You can take that to the bank.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59736

Jim

You ready?

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59737

Dwight

You kidding? I was born ready.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59738

Jim

Dwight, Dwight, Dwight. Um' I don't know how to tell you this, but' we have a little bit of a problem.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59739

Dwight

Oh, no. What?

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59740

Jim

The minister just told me that it's tradition for the Bestish Mensch to be older than the groom.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59741

Dwight

Oh, come on. I've never heard of such a thing.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59742

Jim

I haven't heard of it, obviously. But I'm out because I am significantly younger than you-

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59743

Dwight

Not' significant is a big word'

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59744

Jim

I think it's definitely' Well, okay. Either way'

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59745

Dwight

I think you're only a teeny'

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59746

Jim

Either way, Dwight' I can't be there for you. I'm sorry.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59747

Dwight

Jim.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59748

Jim

I just'really wish there was something I could do.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59749

Dwight

Michael. I can't believe you came.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59750

Michael

That's what she said.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59751

Jim

Best prank ever.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59752

Minister

As it is traditional to the Schrutes, the lovers are standing in their own graves as a reminder that this is the only escape from what they are about to do.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59753

Nellie

See, I get what they are trying to do, but why are the graves so shallow?

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59754

Kevin

'Arise, my love, my fair one, and come away. For lo, the winter is passed. The rain is over and gone. The time of singing has come and the voice of the turtledove is heard in our land. Let me see your face. Let me hear your voice for your voice is sweet and your face is comely. '

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59755

Minister

I now pronounce you man and wife. Release the doves!

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59756

Kelly

Oh.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59757

Kevin

That's not'

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59758

Dwight

Ladies and gentlemen. Thank you so much for coming. Now, please take your hay bales to the reception. They'll be used for seating. Complimentary hay hooks are placed alone the aisles. Just stab 'em on in there.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59759

Dwight

Everybody!

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59760

Jim

See, now you don't owe me anything.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59761

Ryan

Ravi? Ravi? Drake has a bit of a rash. And he's hot.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59762

Ravi

Oh, no.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59763

Ryan

I was wondering could you maybe examine him for a second?

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59764

Ravi

Oh, yeah, you're not feeling well little guy? Okay, sure. Should we go inside?

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59765

Ryan

Actually, could you go inside? I'm feeling a little dehydrated. I could really use a little break, have some water.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59766

Ravi

Are you sure you don't wanna go in?

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59767

Kelly

Ravi, just do it. That baby is burning up. Isn't this, like what you live for? Just go. Go.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59768

Ryan

Thank you Ravi. Thank you so much. This is great for me and for Drake. Thank you.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59769

Kelly

I don't know, Ryan. Baby Drake didn't look so good.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59770

Ryan

He'll be fine. I let me suck on a strawberry. He's allergic but he'll get over it fast. I had to talk to you.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59771

Kelly

You gave your baby an allergic reaction just to talk to me?

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59772

Pam

Michael has so many pictures of his kids he had to get two phones with two numbers and he pays two bills.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59773

Pam

Oh, my gosh, it's choreographed!

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59774

Pam

He just so happy to have a family plan.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59775

Ed

Where'd you learn to dance like that?

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59776

Erin

I don't know. I've just always been really good at dancing.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59777

Toby

[dancing with Pam]

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59778

Pam

Is it me? Is it Nellie?

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59779

Toby

It's everything.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59780

Phyllis

I missed you.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59781

Stanley

I missed you too.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59782

Phyllis

Lots of people think that Stanley Hudson's a mean old grump. But would a grump make this? It's me. It's me.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59783

Ryan

I love you.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59784

Kelly

I love you too.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59785

Ryan

We're gonna be together forever.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59786

Kelly

We're running off into the sunset.

Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59787

"Finale" Quotes (page 4)