Every line from The Office season 9, episode 23, in script order. First aired May 16, 2013.
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Phyllis
Poor, poor Andy.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59488
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Andy
Okay. Aw. Thank you Phyllis.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59489
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Darryl
Hello, hello.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59490
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Jim
Hey!
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59491
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Meredith
Darryl!
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59492
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Andy
Hey!
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59493
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Darryl
Hey, what's up?
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59494
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Andy
Didn't I just see you at the airport jumping in a limo?
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59495
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Darryl
What? Must've been another devilishly handsome debonair individual.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59496
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Andy
Hmm.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59497
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Darryl
Hey, man. How are you doing? I, um'I didn't call 'cause I figured you changed the number.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59498
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Andy
No I didn't change the number. All good though. Phone never rings.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59499
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Dwight
What? Ooh!
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59500
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Andy
Surprise!
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59501
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Dwight
I thought you guys couldn't come.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59502
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Darryl
Yeah, but then they moved the panel to the same weekend and the Doc crew paid to fly us in. It was kismet.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59503
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Jim
Kismet? Yeah, right. Pam and I came up with excuses for every other weekend. You remember my two lap band surgeries, right? Neither do I? 'Guten Prank' number one.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59504
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Darryl
You ready for tonight? We gonna tear up the town?
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59505
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Dwight
Uh, better ask Jim.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59506
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Jim
And Jim will say nothing.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59507
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Pam
Darryl! Andy!
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59508
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Andy
Hey! Pam!
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59509
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Darryl
Hey, Pam! How are you?
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59510
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Pam
We're fine. Yeah. And I'm sure that you guys are fine too. Because why wouldn't you be?
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59511
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Andy
Mm-hmm.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59512
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Pam
Darryl, oh, my gosh. How is Austin? Tell me everything. How's the merger? I feel like I read about Athlead all the time.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59513
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Darryl
I love it. And it's Athleap now. And the city is amazing.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59514
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Jim
Yeah?
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59515
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Darryl
Yeah. Yeah, it's hot. The music is awesome. And the tacos are'for real.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59516
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Jim
Wow! That sounds incredible.. Oh, guys. Limo's here. Let's do this. Change if you need to.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59517
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Oscar
Whoo, whoo, whoo.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59518
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Pam
Okay, you guys, have fun. You too, Andy.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59519
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Oscar
Yeah!
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59520
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Andy
Aw!
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59521
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Darryl
Woah-Oh! Haven't been in one of these in forever.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59522
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Oscar
They wanted me to go to the bachelorette party with the girls. Really? Such a cliche. I'm a man. So I'm going to the bachelor party with the boys. I just have to remember how I acted before I came out.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59523
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Oscar
WASSUUUUP!
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59524
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Dwight
Wait, why are we stopping? Jim, this isn't on the itinerary.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59525
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Jim
Get out.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59526
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Dwight
Jim'wha' Come on! What'what are you gonna whack me, Jim?
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59527
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Jim
No, Dwight. You'll be doing the whacking.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59528
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Dwight
A bazooka. You remembered.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59529
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Jim
Of course I did.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59530
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Dwight
[tearful laugh]. Get out of my way.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59531
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All
OH!
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59532
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Dwight
Woo! Okay!
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59533
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Jim
Yeah! Guten Prank number two.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59534
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Jim
Private Room.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59535
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Oscar
Yeah, brosef.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59536
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Dwight
Amazing.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59537
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Jim
Enjoy, enjoy.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59538
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Guy
Hey, I know you. Are you gonna sit here and cry?
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59539
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Jim
Okay, man, easy.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59540
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Guy
[fake cries]
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59541
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Jim
Hey, dude, leave him alone. What are you doing?
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59542
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Andy
Jim, it's fine. He'll just get you on his cell phone and then that'll go viral.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59543
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Darryl
That happens a lot?
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59544
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Andy
Yeah, I guess. But things are going well actually. I spoke at Cornell during commencement week. I mean, the seniors invited me as a joke but it was a huge success.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59545
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Oscar
Well, I bet it was a smash.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59546
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Andy
That's how I got my new job in the admissions office.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59547
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Oscar
Is that a volunteer program or'
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59548
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Andy
No. It's a job. Things are going great.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59549
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Darryl
Let's get a drink in you, huh?
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59550
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Andy
Yes.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59551
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Meredith
Whoo-hoo. Let's get this party started!
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59552
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Rachel
Where's my angel.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59553
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Angela
This is my big sister Rachel.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59554
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Rachel
No, this is my big sister Angela.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59555
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Angela
We're very close. We even have our own special language.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59556
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Rachel
[speaks in a special language]
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59557
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Angela
People love it.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59558
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Rachel
They do.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59559
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Dwight
Man, how long have we been sitting here?
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59560
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Stripper
Hi, boys!
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59561
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All
Ohh'
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59562
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Clark
Here we go!
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59563
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Dwight
Oh, Thank God. We are famished!
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59564
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Stripper
Hey, did somebody order the chef special?
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59565
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Darryl
Right there.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59566
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Dwight
No, we haven't ordered anything. No one's even taken our drinks. Uh, what is the chef special?
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59567
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Stripper
I bet you boys have a big appetite.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59568
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Dwight
Oh, we do. So we'll have an onion loaf for the table, please. And tell us about your heartiest soups.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59569
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Stripper
Mm, I know what you want. I know exactly what you want.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59570
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Dwight
Yes, an onion loaf for the table but that's not all. Now the chef special sounded good. What is it exactly?
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59571
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Stripper
Ohh, shh.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59572
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Dwight
Okay, what are you doing? Are you giving me a taste of the chef's special? Tastes like cigarettes. That won't work. That's no good.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59573
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Erin
Whoo!
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59574
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Angela
What? Okay.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59575
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Pam
Oh, boy.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59576
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Erin
Oh!
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59577
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Jakey
Heard you guys needed some pipes fixed or cleaned or whatever.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59578
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Phyllis
Angela's special repairman is here.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59579
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Angela
Wait, what is this?
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59580
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Meredith
Shut up. Jakey?
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59581
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Jakey
Mom?
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59582
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Pam
Wait, wait. What?
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59583
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Jakey
Oh, man.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59584
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Meredith
No, no, no, no. Just do your wok. Pretend mom's not here.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59585
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Pam
Uh, that seems inappropriate.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59586
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Meredith
Give the good show, my little entrepreneur.
Season 9 · Episode 23 · Line 59587