Andy

So you had a bad day...

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57160

Pete

I'll be in the annex.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57161

Andy

Rut ti doh doh...

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57162

Pete

Alright? I'll be in the annex.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57163

Andy

Rut tit doh doh...

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57164

Pete

Toby!

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57165

Andy

Rut ti doh doo doh

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57166

Pete

Toby?

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57167

Toby

You can't fire Pete. You understand why, right?

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57168

Andy

No.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57169

Toby

Oh, Andy, we had this exact same conversation when you wanted to get rid of Nellie. You can't just get rid of people over grudges.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57170

Andy

Nellie was a professional grudge. This is a purely personal grudge.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57171

Toby

Alright, well look. While I have you here, this is a relationship disclosure form for Pete & Erin.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57172

Andy

They already have a contract? 'Mutually agree to-' Ah, every phrase is like a dagger in my crotch.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57173

Toby

It's just boiler plating, you don't have to read it.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57174

Andy

Well, I'm not signing away my rights.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57175

Toby

I already signed it. I was just showing you.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57176

Andy

Ok, well we'll see about that.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57177

Toby

Andy, it's not the original. And destroying it will not stop them from dating. Andy. It's the original.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57178

Mark

...talking Chester avenue, talking triplex, talking converting...Is that her? Hey guys! Say something.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57179

Pam

Hello.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57180

Mark

Hi, I'm Mark.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57181

Pam

Hi, Pam, hello.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57182

Mark

I'm the horrible boss around here, but please don't hire Jamie Foxx to kill me. D'Jango! I don't agree with the use of the 'N' word in that movie. It's, it's too soon.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57183

Pam

I'm Pam Halpert.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57184

Mark

Oh, hi. They call me Marky Mark around here, because here at Simon Realty, we are one funky bunch! Come on you guys, raise the roof when I say that! I- what are you all temps again today? Let's go, Gangnam style. He's heard Gangnam style, he knows it. Right? That's cause he's American. This is Carl. Uh, he's from here. Our neck of the woods. But Gangnam style is great, isn't it?

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57185

Pam

Oh my god. He's Michael Scott.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57186

Shirley

Time to get clean!

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57187

Dwight

It's hosing time Aunt Shirley, have a seat. You're gonna have a hard time hearing her over the roar of the hose.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57188

Angela

You have to use chains?

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57189

Dwight

You'll see. Here we go.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57190

Shirley

Let's get this show on the road.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57191

Dwight

Let's do it! Ready? Here's a box cutter to get her clothes off.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57192

Angela

Dwight!

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57193

Dwight

Let's get to it.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57194

Angela

No! No!

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57195

Dwight

Give it a whirl.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57196

Angela

Dwight, I am not gonna hose your aunt down like some animal.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57197

Shirley

Stop your belly-aching and hose me.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57198

Dwight

I need you to hose my aunt.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57199

Angela

No Dwight!

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57200

Dwight

OK you are useless.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57201

Angela

No, Dwight!

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57202

Dwight

Give me the hose!

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57203

Angela

No Dwight, I won't-

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57204

Dwight

Ahh! OK!

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57205

Angela

I'm gonna give your aunt a proper bath and a haircut like a lady! And you two are gonna shut up about it! Do you have a bathtub?

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57206

Dwight

Yes ma'am.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57207

Angela

Good.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57208

Mark

This is not an office so much as it is a uh, rec room with a bunch of computers in it. Frankly, if I had my way, I'd toss the computers in the gar-bage. But unfortunately we use them for practically everything we do. So. That ain't gonna happen. He's a temp, don't worry about him. Alice! Alright, stay awake ok?

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57209

Toby

Hey Nellie. Mmm. I am so sick of February. It's the shortest month but it sure doesn't feel that way. We should catch up.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57210

Nellie

Um.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57211

Toby

Y'know I've been going over my notes from the trial...

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57212

Nellie

Oh no.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57213

Toby

...feel like I may have glossed over a few...

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57214

Nellie

No no no no.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57215

Toby

...minor points.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57216

Nellie

No. Toby, you cannot keep blathering on about this Scranton Strangler. Do something about it. Get it out of your system, whatever it takes.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57217

Toby

I've been drafting a letter.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57218

Nellie

For two years! Then what? Another year picking out a stamp? Another six months before you decide to lick it? Just- I don't want to hear it!

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57219

Mark

My aunt Joan. Oh, uh well, she uh, she worked here before I did, so there's no nepotism involved. In fact, to be honest with you I'm probably a little harder on her than I am on the rest of these people. Ah, cute. Not work on this...work on this months. Ok Nana? Uh, when I say 'Chillax' people chillax. Watch this. Hey Roger, chillax! Must not have heard me.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57220

Roger

No. I heard you.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57221

Mark

Step this way for The Spanish Inquisition! Kids in the Hall. Just, it's not high pressure. Just a little Coffee Talk. Ok? Like butta. Come on in here. Mike Myers.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57222

Pam

Oh my god.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57223

Andy

Thank you! Thanks, thanks a lot. Really appreciate it. You guys are supposed to have my back. OK? Instead you let a guy named Plop steal my girlfriend.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57224

Meredith

Hey boss, I did everything I could. I invited Pete out for drinks, I emailed him shots of my junk....

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57225

Andy

Ugh.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57226

Meredith

Kid doesn't have a romantic bone in his body.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57227

Phyllis

Come on Andy, they're a good match.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57228

Andy

That doesn't matter. Ok? What matters is that I am hurt! Deep hurt inside of me. I don't care if they're Romeo and freaking Juliet! I feel like the guy that Juliet dated before Romeo. Probably her boss. And guess what? Juliet's boss also had feelings.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57229

Darryl

Hey, Andy.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57230

Andy

What?!

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57231

Darryl

You've got a booger bubble going on there.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57232

Andy

Sorry.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57233

Darryl

It's ok.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57234

Andy

My whole life is a booger bubble!

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57235

Mark

This is a tiny resume. Papa Smurf! Come back to the mushroom. From The Smurfs movie.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57236

Pam

Yeah, I've seen that with my kids. Um, it is tiny, but I've actually been commissioned by the City of Scranton to paint a mural-

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57237

Mark

What does this say here? To ti te per tat... what language is this? Swahili? Oh wait a second, now I can read it.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57238

Pam

Oh, cause it was upside down.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57239

Mark

You're a good audience.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57240

Pam

So um-

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57241

Mark

Unlike some of these people around here.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57242

Pam

Yeah, the um, the city commissioned me to do the-

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57243

Mark

Yeah, we don't have a lot of call for doodling around here. But I like this resume and here's why. It shows that you stick around. Yeah. You don't jump ship easily. Like a lot of these people. I mean they worship me you know? But do they like me? I mean...you think they like me, Pam?

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57244

Pam

Yes.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57245

Mark

What if Bob Dylan was your boss? I'm gonna do Dylan! Pam Halpert is my name, and I've been at Dunder Mifflin for seven years? Eight years? Eight years, man. Got the Dunder Mifflin blues. Got the Pam Halpert blues. Got the pra- went to the Pratt Institute...You have children?

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57246

Pam

Two children, yes.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57247

Mark

You wrote Art and Painting, kinda the same thing. Kinda the same thing. Sometimes I repeat myself, but that's just being Pam. Well I'm kinda cute and I'm- but I'm married so...leave that be.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57248

Pete

Hey. You got a sec to talk?

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57249

Andy

Kinda painful to chat with you Pete. Ever since the old one-two punch to my scrotum pole. Translation: penis. Translation? My manhood.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57250

Pete

Yeah. Look, uh I understand breakups are tough. You know, it happens to all of us at some point in life. But you've gotta move on.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57251

Andy

Great advice. Thank you, you can leave now.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57252

Erin

Listen to him, Andy. He's trying to tell you something that you really need to hear.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57253

Andy

Awesome perspective. Thanks for butting in.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57254

Pete

Well, I've been where you are now. I dated this girl Alice and it was an ugly breakup. She worked at a marketing agency right next to my house. I'd run into her every day but I had to grow up and deal with it, and I did. We're even Facebook friends now.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57255

Erin

See? We can all be friends!

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57256

Pete

Yeah.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57257

Erin

Just, get over it. It doesn't have to be awkward.

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57258

Pete

I do think we can have a fair....

Season 9 · Episode 16 · Line 57259

"Moving On" Quotes (page 3)