"Sex Ed" Quotes

Every line from The Office season 7, episode 4, in script order. First aired October 14, 2010.

321 quotes · page 1 of 4

  1. Dwight

    Hola, hola. Necesito une bueno worker. Tu esporte! Come on! Que? QUE?

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39151

  2. Mexican Man

    [speaking Spanish]

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39152

  3. Son

    We don't go with that man. I've seen several men go with that man and not come back.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39153

  4. Mexican Man

    [speaking Spanish]

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39154

  5. Son

    We've lost friends.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39155

  6. Mexican Man

    [speaking Spanish]

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39156

  7. Son

    We don't know what he does with them.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39157

  8. Mexican Man

    [speaking Spanish]

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39158

  9. Son

    I don't want to talk about it anymore.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39159

  10. Dwight

    I pick up day laborers and tell them they'll get paid at six p.m. At five forty five, a certain INS agent by the name of Mose Schrute throws them in the back of a van, drops them off in the middle of Harrisburg and tells them it's Canada.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39160

  11. Nate

    Hola amigo.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39161

  12. Dwight

    Hola, tu es une buena worker?

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39162

  13. Nate

    Si, yo muy bueno worker.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39163

  14. Dwight

    Y el accento, donde are you from?

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39164

  15. Nate

    Scranton, y before that La Philadelphia.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39165

  16. Dwight

    You speak English?

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39166

  17. Nate

    Yes, I'm really good at English.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39167

  18. Dwight

    Ok, good. Me too, get in the car.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39168

  19. Nate

    Okay.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39169

  20. Dwight

    [nods to camera]

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39170

  21. Angela

    Who's this guy by our cars?

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39171

  22. Dwight

    That is my new maintenance worker, Nate. And you'll be happy to know that he's taking care of that hornet's nest that you've been griping about.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39172

  23. Phyllis

    Yeah, I got stung up my dress.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39173

  24. Dwight

    Poor hornet.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39174

  25. Dwight

    I left him all the tools he needs. This is do or die. If he chooses correctly he'll conquer the hornets...

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39175

  26. Ryan

    But if he doesn't?

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39176

  27. Dwight

    He'll die.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39177

  28. Kelly

    What?

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39178

  29. Andy

    Uhh, beg your pardon?

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39179

  30. Dwight

    When did the phrase do or die become so corrupted?

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39180

  31. Nate

    [picks up blowtorch]

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39181

  32. Kelly

    Is that a blow torch?!

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39182

  33. Pam

    No. No no no!

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39183

  34. Dwight

    Interesting choice...

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39184

  35. Pam

    Yes!

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39185

  36. Andy

    Very very smart.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39186

  37. Pam

    Yeah, go away.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39187

  38. Nate

    [picks up baseball bat, heads towards hornet's nest]

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39188

  39. Employees except Dwight

    No! No no!

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39189

  40. Dwight

    A bat! Impressive...

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39190

  41. Andy

    Oh it's stinging him! Ow! Ow!

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39191

  42. Michael

    Good morning Erin, any mustaches? I mean messages?

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39192

  43. Erin

    Terrific!

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39193

  44. Michael

    There are many reasons a man would wear a fake mustache to work. He is a fan of the outrageous. He loves to surprise! He loves... other things as well.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39194

  45. Phyllis

    God! Wow!

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39195

  46. Michael

    Look, It's a pimple Phyllis. Avrile Lavigne gets them all the time and she rocks harder than anyone alive.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39196

  47. Phyllis

    That's no pimple Michael.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39197

  48. Michael

    You mean cancer?

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39198

  49. Pam

    What? No! Wait, no. Definitely not cancer.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39199

  50. Pam

    It's just good to stop a Michael train of thought early before it derails and destroys the entire town.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39200

  51. Meredith

    Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. It's just a cold sore.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39201

  52. Michael

    It is?

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39202

  53. Meredith

    Yup, just a cold sore.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39203

  54. Michael

    Just a cold sore, thank you. Phyllis, I don't have acne. I have a cold sore. I don't even have a cold. I don't know how I got it.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39204

  55. Kevin

    I know how you got it.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39205

  56. Michael

    How?

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39206

  57. Kevin

    Michael come on. A cold sore is herpes.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39207

  58. Michael

    What?

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39208

  59. Pam

    Wait! What you should do, Michael, is have a doctor take a look at it. Because we really don't know what that is.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39209

  60. Meredith

    I know tons and tons of people who have herpes. I have it myself. That's what it is.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39210

  61. Kevin

    I never seen herpes on you.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39211

  62. Meredith

    Because it's on my genitals, genius.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39212

  63. Kevin

    You have a penis?

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39213

  64. Andy

    Michael, have you ever been tested for STDs?

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39214

  65. Michael

    Yeah! My last physical when I was forty.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39215

  66. Jim

    That was like, ten years ago.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39216

  67. Michael

    No! It was like four years ago!

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39217

  68. Kevin

    Michael, you're at least forty six!

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39218

  69. Michael

    Why at least? If you're guessing forty six just say forty six.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39219

  70. Kelly

    Can we please talk about how gross Meredith is?

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39220

  71. Angela

    This is what you get when you treat your body like an outhouse.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39221

  72. Andy

    You know what guys, why don't we just chill out on this herp-chat. Ok? I was an REA in college and I can tell you, number one sexually transmitted disease is ignorance.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39222

  73. Kelly

    I guess maybe you should go marry a meth dealer with crabs.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39223

  74. Oscar

    I don't even wanna know these things!

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39224

  75. Meredith

    Hey guys!

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39225

  76. Michael

    How did this happen, how did I get this?

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39226

  77. Dwight

    Some eggs can rely dormant in a woman for years, they may not even know they have it.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39227

  78. Michael

    You know what, I feel like one of those old timey sailors. With the eye patch. It's me own damn fault. Woman in every port.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39228

  79. Dwight

    What port? The Jan port. The Holly Por...

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39229

  80. Michael

    Don't even! Holly was clean! Okay? If anything I gave it to her.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39230

  81. Dwight

    You may have...

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39231

  82. Michael

    Oh my God! What if I did?

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39232

  83. Dwight

    You need to contact Holly! You need to notify her, that she is crawling with herpes.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39233

  84. Michael

    Okay! You know what? Might! Might be crawling with herpes. I might have gotten it after her.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39234

  85. Dwight

    You need to contact every woman you've been with, and notify them of your herpes infestation. It's the right thing to do.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39235

  86. Michael

    There's no way I'm gonna do that.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39236

  87. Dwight

    Then I will.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39237

  88. Michael

    [makes grunt in attempt to stop Dwight. Dwight hangs up]

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39238

  89. Dwight

    No, I'm no doctor, but it seems to me that we all have an obligation to the public health to track down anyone who gives us a disease, inform them of it, and take overwhelming revenge on that person. Again, I'm no doctor. I'm just a normal guy who enjoys revenge.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39239

  90. Donna

    Hello?

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39240

  91. Michael

    Hi Donna. It's Michael.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39241

  92. Donna

    Michael, I didn't think I'd here from you. How have you been?

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39242

  93. Michael

    I have a disease, for which there is no known cure, that has been sexually transmitted to me.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39243

  94. Donna

    Oh no.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39244

  95. Michael

    I can't even say it. H-I...

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39245

  96. Donna

    Oh my God.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39246

  97. Michael

    ...R-P-E-E-S

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39247

  98. Donna

    Wait, you're calling to tell me that you have herpes?

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39248

  99. Michael

    No, I am calling to see if you gave me herpes. Because if you did I would be able to avoid a lot of sucky conversations. So you have it right?

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39249

  100. Donna

    Ummm, no.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39250