Every quote from The Office season 7, episode 4, in script order. First aired October 14, 2010.
-
Creed
The feeling of pure risk.
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39351
-
Andy
I actually had that down in the cons column, but...
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39352
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Creed
It's thrilling.
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39353
-
Andy
Ok, umm. I'll move that. Thrill of risk.
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39354
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Erin
Andy, aren't there also negatives to sex?
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39355
-
Andy
Yes! Thank you! Such as?
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39356
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Erin
Unplanned pregnancy.
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39357
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Andy
Yes, unplanned pregnancy.
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39358
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Kelly
Like Jim and Pam, say whaaat?
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39359
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Kevin
Just admit that your baby was a mistake.
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39360
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Pam
Hey! Our baby was not a mistake. She was a surprise.
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39361
-
Jim
Good!
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39362
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Darryl
I'm sure they don't regret having their child, let's move it to the pros.
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39363
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Jim and Pam
Thank you!
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39364
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Andy
Ok, unplanned pregnancy, going in the pros column.
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39365
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Dwight
Next stop is Helene. You're gonna wanna make a left on Willow, which is a little ways away, uh. I'll remind you.
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39366
-
Michael
You know, I don't know if I trust Jan's judgment. She...
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39367
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Dwight
Jan knows paper.
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39368
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Michael
No, I'm not talking about paper. Relationships, they have the ability to point out if the man is making a bigger deal out of something that is really there.
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39369
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Dwight
Wait, what Holly said?
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39370
-
Michael
Yes, I don't...
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39371
-
Dwight
Forget it Michael! Today is about herpes.
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39372
-
Michael
I know, I know.
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39373
-
Dwight
Who gave it to you, who has it, and who is going to pay.
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39374
-
Michael
Got it.
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39375
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Dwight
TO answer your question about Jan, no. Jan is insane. Why do you think I got- LEFT, WILLOW NOW!
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39376
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Michael
I'M TRYING! GOD!
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39377
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Michael
Hi stranger! Long time!
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39378
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Old Woman
Who are you?
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39379
-
Michael
I'm Michael. We dated for a while.
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39380
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Old Woman
I don't think so...
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39381
-
Helene
Michael?
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39382
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Michael
Oh hey! Dwight, would you take my grandmother for a walk while I talk to Helene?
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39383
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Dwight
Come on old lady. Let's go.
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39384
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Old Woman
What is happening?
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39385
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Dwight
Come on.
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39386
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Andy
Who can tell me what the safest form of sex is?
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39387
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Darryl
Condoms.
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39388
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Andy
Incorrect, the only true form of safe sex, ok? Abstinence.
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39389
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Darryl
Ohh. Ok. I didn't realize we were doing trick questions. What's the safest way to go skiing? Don't ski!
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39390
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Andy
I just thought I'd bring it up in case someone in here was practicing abstinence. That's all. Anybody?
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39391
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Pam
Andy that's way too personal of a question.
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39392
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Andy
Well someone could answer if they want to. Ok, in that case I will now show you how to put this condom on... using this pencil.
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39393
-
Andy
What?
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39394
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Oscar
Why would you choose a pencil Andy?
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39395
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Andy
Well I'm not gonna use my penis, Oscar! It's not exactly hard right now anyway.
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39396
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Meredith
Come on, give it a rest pencil dick.
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39397
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Andy
I'm doing this for you Meredith!
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39398
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Meredith
I didn't want you it!
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39399
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Andy
Well did you h- di- GAH! Does no one appreciate what I'm doing right now?!
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39400
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Helene
It'll go away in time just don't touch it.
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39401
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Michael
Did I make more of what we had then what was really there?
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39402
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Helene
What did you think we were?
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39403
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Michael
Just a quirky indie movie weird sort of thing, breaking all the rules. But had to end, because the summer was over. For you...
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39404
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Helene
I think for you to have come here even expecting that we can have a conversation like this show's ho-how self deluded you are! Michael, your memory has failed you greatly.
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39405
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Michael
Jerk.
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39406
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Dwight
Michael!
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39407
-
Carroll
So this is the chef's kitchen, which makes it perfect for real entertainers.
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39408
-
Michael
Real entertainers, like Billy Joel.
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39409
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Carroll
Michael.
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39410
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Michael
Carroll, how are you?
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39411
-
Carroll
I'm great! How are you?
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39412
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Michael
I'm great! I saw your-your sign outside. And I decided, I'm going to pull in, and maybe buy a house from her.
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39413
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Carroll
You didn't call my office and ask where I was?
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39414
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Michael
No.
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39415
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Carroll
Because the receptionist told me a man called but he only said he was my ex-lover.
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39416
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Michael
Weird...
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39417
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Carroll
Yeah.
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39418
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Michael
He sounds like a nice guy.
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39419
-
Andy
I don't know, I mean people were being really mean to Meredith.
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39420
-
Gabe
This wasn't really about Meredith was it. You and Erin are broken up.
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39421
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Andy
How is that relevant to anything?
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39422
-
Gabe
I asked you if it was ok if I asked her out. You said, and I quote, 'My good sir! Nothing would make me happier than to hand you the hand of the hand once in my hand.' I specifically remember it because you said it in such a weird way.
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39423
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Andy
The only reason I said that is because you asked me so politely! It was very difficult for me to say no.
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39424
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Gabe
I'll let this slide, but I expect you to put this whole Erin thing behind you.
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39425
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Michael
Oh wow another living room!
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39426
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Carroll
It's a family room.
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39427
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Michael
You put the TV here, you put the family over here.
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39428
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Carroll
Michael why are you here?
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39429
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Michael
Someone told me that I romanticize relationships
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39430
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Carroll
You know, we all do that.
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39431
-
Michael
I have herpes.
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39432
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Carroll
What? Did you have that while we were together?
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39433
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Michael
I just found out today. It's, uh, right there.
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39434
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Carroll
Oh! Oh, that's what you're talking about?
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39435
-
Michael
Mmhmm, I'm sorry.
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39436
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Carroll
Did the doctor check it out?
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39437
-
Michael
I'm between specialists right now.
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39438
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Carroll
Yes, yes Michael. Actually you do make a bigger deal out of things than you need to. You proposed to me on our fourth date.
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39439
-
Michael
Well I believe in love at first sight.
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39440
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Carrol
Well so do I, but we didn't love each other at first either. I don't know what you were thinking!
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39441
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Michael
I knew what I was thinking at the time, but right now it just seems ridiculous.
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39442
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Dwight
Excuse me, someone died in the upstairs bathroom didn't they?
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39443
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Carroll
No.
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39444
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Darryl
We should schedule meetings, because the days can slip away with chit-chat. Are you crying?
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39445
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Andy
No I'm just sweating.
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39446
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Darryl
I don't know who's got you upset but my advice is stop crying.
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39447
-
Andy
I'm not crying I'm just sweating.
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39448
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Darryl
Look you need to pick yourself up. Man up, alright? You will win this in the end. It's all about heart, and character. Be your best self.
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39449
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Andy
Ok.
Season 7 · Episode 4 · Quote 39450