Every line from The Office season 5, episode 6, in script order. First aired November 6, 2008.
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Phyllis
We're laughing at this cartoon!
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24905
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Stanley
Perfect, isn't it?
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24906
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Dwight
How is that funny? What are you really laughing at? Huh?
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24907
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Phyllis
Haven't you been following the news? Ther university is using its non-profit status to fund its private real estate investments.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24908
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Stanley
And he really nailed them on it. Somebody's finally holding them accountable!
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24909
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Dwight
There's no way you're laughing at this.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24910
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Jim
Oh, I don't have anything to say. I'm just hiding from Dwight.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24911
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Dwight
[is seen taking apart his phone receiver to check for listening devices]
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24912
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Dwight
It's good to be paranoid. People need to be more paranoid. Case in point, JFK. If I had been JFK, I would have seen all three gunmen. I would have pulled out my concealed Luger and fired first. Man in book depository, BOOM! Grassy knoll, BOOM! Fake Jackie, BOOM! Then I shoot myself, so I don't change history and create a paradox. BOOM! But right at the last minute, I twist out of the way of the bullet. Nice try, history. Better luck next year.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24913
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Jim
So, as it turns out, Dwight is right. How bizarre.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24914
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Pam
I wonder what else Dwight's been right about....
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24915
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Dwight
Major pharmaceuticals do not want you to know that beet juice has medicinal value both as an aphrodisiac and a laxative.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24916
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Dwight
The Scranton Zoning Board has a strong bias against beet farmers. The mayor is in the pocket of Big Lettuce.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24917
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Dwight
Battlestar Galactica isn't a documentary exactly.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24918
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Dwight
The book All The President's Men is about a conspiracy, just not the one people think.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24919
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Dwight
Jesus had a daughter, and she was the Mona Lisa.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24920
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Dwight
What we have come to know as fake crab meat is in fact real crab meat, and real crab meat is lobster.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24921