Every quote from The Office season 5, episode 6, in script order. First aired November 6, 2008.
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Dwight
What do you think I am saying to you?!
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24605
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Jim
I'm not talking to you.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24606
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Dwight
I've caught Jim talking to himself several times today. What a loser. Get a friend, loser.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24607
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Andy
Yeah, I'm looking at it right now. It's really gorgeous. You guys do great work.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24608
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Andy
I found the best tentist on the east coast. He personally tented Giuliani's first and third weddings. And I got him. I got him!
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24609
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Andy
Would you be able to do the same design, but with walls of gray? And a top that's gray too? Fabulous.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24610
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Michael
Oh, come on.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24611
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Jim
What?
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24612
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Michael
You too?
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24613
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Jim
Did my scores drop a little?
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24614
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Michael
Jim, they are a poopy.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24615
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Pam
Jim? Jim?
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24616
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Jim
Are we even sure that's my file?
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24617
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Michael
No. Yes, I am sure, Jim. It --
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24618
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Jim
Well, there's got to be an explanation.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24619
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Michael
I agree.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24620
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Jim
Yeah.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24621
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Michael
So let's see what we can find out from reading. Jim Halpert is smudge and arrogant.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24622
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Jim
I think you mean smug
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24623
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Michael
Arrogance.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24624
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Jim
Michael, I'm just trying to --
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24625
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Michael
And there's our smudgeness.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24626
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Jim
I need a decent bonus, because I'm actually in the process of buying my parents' house so that they can retire. And if history tells us anything, it's that you can't go wrong buying a house you can't afford. Pam doesn't know about the house, so it's... a fun surprise. Pam, sorry about that. I lost you for a second. So, as it turns out, I may not have done so hot on my customer reviews this year.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24627
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Pam
Maybe it's because you spent the whole year flirting with the receptionist.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24628
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Jim
A little bit. ... Worth it.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24629
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Michael
Here's what's going to happen. I am going to have to fix you, manage you two on a more personal scale, a more micro form of management. Jim, what is that called?
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24630
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Jim
Microgement.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24631
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Michael
Boom! Yes. Now, Jim is going to be the client. Dwight, you're going to have to sell to him without being aggressive, hostile or difficult. Let's go.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24632
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Dwight
All right, fine. Brrring.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24633
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Jim
Hello?
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24634
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Dwight
Hello, this is Dwight Schrute from the Dunder Mifflin Paper Company.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24635
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Jim
Wow, that's great, because I need paper.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24636
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Dwight
Excellent, then you are in luck, because we are having a limited-time offer only on everything.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24637
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Jim
Wow, this is my lucky day.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24638
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Michael
Ask him his name.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24639
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Dwight
What is your name, sir?
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24640
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Jim
I am Bill Buttlicker.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24641
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Dwight
Really, that's your real name?
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24642
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Jim
How dare you? My family built this country, by the way.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24643
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Michael
Be respectful, Dwight.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24644
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Dwight
Yes, Michael.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24645
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Jim
Would you hold on one second? That's my other line.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24646
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Dwight
What? No, but I --
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24647
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Jim
Hello? No, I'm just on the phone with this stupid salesman. He's so dumb. Probably just gonna keep him on the line forever and not buy anything. Yeah, OK.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24648
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Michael
It's up to you to change his mind.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24649
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Jim
Sorry. That was a family emergency.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24650
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Dwight
Oh, no. What's wrong?
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24651
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Jim
You know what? That's private.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24652
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Michael
Boundaries, Dwight. Come on!
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24653
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Dwight
Sorry, Mr. Buttlicker. As I was saying, we're having a limited--
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24654
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Jim
Sorry, you're going to have to speak up a little bit louder. I'm hard of hearing.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24655
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Michael
He's hard of -- he's an old man. Let's go.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24656
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Dwight
OK, as I was saying, right now we are having --
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24657
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Jim
You're gonna have to talk louder.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24658
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Dwight
OK, our prices have never been lower.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24659
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Jim
Son, you have to talk louder.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24660
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Dwight
...never been lower!
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24661
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Jim
Louder, son!
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24662
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Dwight
Buttlicker! Our prices have never been lower!
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24663
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Michael
Stop it! Stop it!
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24664
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Dwight
He --
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24665
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Michael
That is totally inappropriate. You never yell at the client. You never yell at the client.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24666
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Jim
Now, you listen to me, sir.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24667
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Michael
Here we go.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24668
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Jim
The three words I would describe you as is aggressive, hostile and definitely difficult.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24669
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Michael
Give me the phone.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24670
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Dwight
Please, Mr. Buttlicker --
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24671
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Jim
I'm irate right now.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24672
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Michael
Give me the phone.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24673
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Dwight
Please give me another chance. Mr. Buttlicker.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24674
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Michael
Give me the phone. Give me the phone.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24675
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Dwight
I have to put you on with my boss.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24676
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Jim
Well, I should hope so. Who is this?
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24677
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Michael
Hello, this is Michael Scott, regional manager.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24678
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Jim
Well, this is William M. Buttlicker.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24679
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Michael
Hello, Mr. Buttlicker. How may we help you?
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24680
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Jim
Michael, I like the sound of your voice. You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to buy one million dollars worth of paper products today.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24681
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Dwight
Yeah!
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24682
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Michael
See how it's done? Thank you very much, sir. I don't think you'll regret it. See what I did?
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24683
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Dwight
You are the master.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24684
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Jim
There is one condition, Michael.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24685
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Michael
Yes.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24686
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Jim
You have to fire the salesman that treated me so terribly.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24687
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Dwight
Don't do it, Michael.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24688
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Michael
... It's a million-dollar sale.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24689
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Andy
So it's called the Shangri-La Tent. It's two stories, heated and has a bridal suite for my bridal sweet. It's just really simple, really tasteful.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24690
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Angela
I don't want to be married in a tent like a hobo
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24691
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Andy
Hobos live in trains.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24692
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Angela
Nana Mimi can't be in canvas that long.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24693
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Andy
Well, Nana Mim -- Ahh. OK, look. This tent is awesome. And it's in high demand, so I really think we should put a deposit down now.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24694
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Angela
OK fine you can have your tent, but only if it's in a field, a hand-plowed field
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24695
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Andy
Done and done-er.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24696
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Angela
There has to be a barn that's old enough that you can see the stars through the roof slats when you lay on your back. And antique tools to look at when you roll over.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24697
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Andy
Do you have a specific place in mind?
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24698
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Angela
No. But anything within a five- to eight-mile radius is acceptable.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24699
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Andy
On it!
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24700
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Jim
Dwight. Dwight.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24701
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Dwight
Get in!
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24702
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Jim
Are you serious?
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24703
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Dwight
Get in!
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Quote 24704