Every line from The Office season 5, episode 6, in script order. First aired November 6, 2008.
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Dwight
What do you think I am saying to you?!
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24605
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Jim
I'm not talking to you.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24606
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Dwight
I've caught Jim talking to himself several times today. What a loser. Get a friend, loser.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24607
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Andy
Yeah, I'm looking at it right now. It's really gorgeous. You guys do great work.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24608
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Andy
I found the best tentist on the east coast. He personally tented Giuliani's first and third weddings. And I got him. I got him!
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24609
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Andy
Would you be able to do the same design, but with walls of gray? And a top that's gray too? Fabulous.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24610
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Michael
Oh, come on.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24611
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Jim
What?
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24612
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Michael
You too?
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24613
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Jim
Did my scores drop a little?
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24614
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Michael
Jim, they are a poopy.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24615
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Pam
Jim? Jim?
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24616
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Jim
Are we even sure that's my file?
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24617
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Michael
No. Yes, I am sure, Jim. It --
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24618
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Jim
Well, there's got to be an explanation.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24619
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Michael
I agree.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24620
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Jim
Yeah.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24621
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Michael
So let's see what we can find out from reading. Jim Halpert is smudge and arrogant.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24622
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Jim
I think you mean smug
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24623
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Michael
Arrogance.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24624
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Jim
Michael, I'm just trying to --
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24625
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Michael
And there's our smudgeness.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24626
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Jim
I need a decent bonus, because I'm actually in the process of buying my parents' house so that they can retire. And if history tells us anything, it's that you can't go wrong buying a house you can't afford. Pam doesn't know about the house, so it's... a fun surprise. Pam, sorry about that. I lost you for a second. So, as it turns out, I may not have done so hot on my customer reviews this year.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24627
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Pam
Maybe it's because you spent the whole year flirting with the receptionist.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24628
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Jim
A little bit. ... Worth it.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24629
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Michael
Here's what's going to happen. I am going to have to fix you, manage you two on a more personal scale, a more micro form of management. Jim, what is that called?
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24630
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Jim
Microgement.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24631
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Michael
Boom! Yes. Now, Jim is going to be the client. Dwight, you're going to have to sell to him without being aggressive, hostile or difficult. Let's go.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24632
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Dwight
All right, fine. Brrring.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24633
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Jim
Hello?
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24634
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Dwight
Hello, this is Dwight Schrute from the Dunder Mifflin Paper Company.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24635
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Jim
Wow, that's great, because I need paper.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24636
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Dwight
Excellent, then you are in luck, because we are having a limited-time offer only on everything.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24637
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Jim
Wow, this is my lucky day.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24638
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Michael
Ask him his name.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24639
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Dwight
What is your name, sir?
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24640
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Jim
I am Bill Buttlicker.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24641
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Dwight
Really, that's your real name?
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24642
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Jim
How dare you? My family built this country, by the way.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24643
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Michael
Be respectful, Dwight.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24644
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Dwight
Yes, Michael.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24645
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Jim
Would you hold on one second? That's my other line.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24646
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Dwight
What? No, but I --
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24647
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Jim
Hello? No, I'm just on the phone with this stupid salesman. He's so dumb. Probably just gonna keep him on the line forever and not buy anything. Yeah, OK.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24648
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Michael
It's up to you to change his mind.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24649
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Jim
Sorry. That was a family emergency.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24650
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Dwight
Oh, no. What's wrong?
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24651
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Jim
You know what? That's private.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24652
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Michael
Boundaries, Dwight. Come on!
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24653
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Dwight
Sorry, Mr. Buttlicker. As I was saying, we're having a limited--
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24654
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Jim
Sorry, you're going to have to speak up a little bit louder. I'm hard of hearing.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24655
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Michael
He's hard of -- he's an old man. Let's go.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24656
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Dwight
OK, as I was saying, right now we are having --
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24657
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Jim
You're gonna have to talk louder.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24658
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Dwight
OK, our prices have never been lower.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24659
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Jim
Son, you have to talk louder.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24660
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Dwight
...never been lower!
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24661
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Jim
Louder, son!
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24662
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Dwight
Buttlicker! Our prices have never been lower!
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24663
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Michael
Stop it! Stop it!
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24664
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Dwight
He --
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24665
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Michael
That is totally inappropriate. You never yell at the client. You never yell at the client.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24666
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Jim
Now, you listen to me, sir.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24667
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Michael
Here we go.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24668
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Jim
The three words I would describe you as is aggressive, hostile and definitely difficult.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24669
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Michael
Give me the phone.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24670
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Dwight
Please, Mr. Buttlicker --
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24671
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Jim
I'm irate right now.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24672
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Michael
Give me the phone.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24673
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Dwight
Please give me another chance. Mr. Buttlicker.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24674
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Michael
Give me the phone. Give me the phone.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24675
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Dwight
I have to put you on with my boss.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24676
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Jim
Well, I should hope so. Who is this?
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24677
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Michael
Hello, this is Michael Scott, regional manager.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24678
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Jim
Well, this is William M. Buttlicker.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24679
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Michael
Hello, Mr. Buttlicker. How may we help you?
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24680
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Jim
Michael, I like the sound of your voice. You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to buy one million dollars worth of paper products today.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24681
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Dwight
Yeah!
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24682
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Michael
See how it's done? Thank you very much, sir. I don't think you'll regret it. See what I did?
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24683
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Dwight
You are the master.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24684
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Jim
There is one condition, Michael.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24685
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Michael
Yes.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24686
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Jim
You have to fire the salesman that treated me so terribly.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24687
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Dwight
Don't do it, Michael.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24688
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Michael
... It's a million-dollar sale.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24689
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Andy
So it's called the Shangri-La Tent. It's two stories, heated and has a bridal suite for my bridal sweet. It's just really simple, really tasteful.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24690
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Angela
I don't want to be married in a tent like a hobo
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24691
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Andy
Hobos live in trains.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24692
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Angela
Nana Mimi can't be in canvas that long.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24693
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Andy
Well, Nana Mim -- Ahh. OK, look. This tent is awesome. And it's in high demand, so I really think we should put a deposit down now.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24694
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Angela
OK fine you can have your tent, but only if it's in a field, a hand-plowed field
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24695
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Andy
Done and done-er.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24696
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Angela
There has to be a barn that's old enough that you can see the stars through the roof slats when you lay on your back. And antique tools to look at when you roll over.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24697
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Andy
Do you have a specific place in mind?
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24698
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Angela
No. But anything within a five- to eight-mile radius is acceptable.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24699
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Andy
On it!
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24700
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Jim
Dwight. Dwight.
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24701
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Dwight
Get in!
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24702
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Jim
Are you serious?
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24703
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Dwight
Get in!
Season 5 · Episode 6 · Line 24704