Every line from The Office season 5, episode 13, in script order. First aired February 1, 2009.
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Jim
So what did he say? Was it my fault?
Season 5 · Episode 13 · Line 27061
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Pam
Yeah. He said that you told him how much you love me. About how you feel when I walk in a room, and about how, you've never doubted for a second that I'm the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with. I guess he's never felt that with my mom, even at their best.
Season 5 · Episode 13 · Line 27062
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Jim
You ok?
Season 5 · Episode 13 · Line 27063
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Pam
Yeah.
Season 5 · Episode 13 · Line 27064
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Pam
When you're a kid you assume your parents are soul mates. My kids are gonna be right about that. I guess it also means that sometimes love affairs look different to the people inside them.
Season 5 · Episode 13 · Line 27065
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Andy
I am not insightful enough to be a movie critic. Mm... maybe I could be a food critic. These muffins taste bad. Hmm, or an art critic. That painting is bad.
Season 5 · Episode 13 · Line 27066
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Pam
Michael! It's really good to see you.
Season 5 · Episode 13 · Line 27067
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Dwight
Hey. Why are you wearing a turtleneck?
Season 5 · Episode 13 · Line 27068
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Jim
Are you alright?
Season 5 · Episode 13 · Line 27069
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Oscar
Michael, I feel like I was a little harsh yesterday.
Season 5 · Episode 13 · Line 27070
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Michael
I um, I spent the afternoon in the park trying to feed the pigeons, I guess they all flew west for the winter, and I, I just had some thoughts that I wanted to share with you people.
Season 5 · Episode 13 · Line 27071
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Pam
What?
Season 5 · Episode 13 · Line 27072
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Michael
Well I wrote them down so I wouldn't forget. Jim, you're 6'11 and you weigh 90 pounds, Gumby has a better body than you. Boom. Roasted. Dwight, you're a kiss ass. Boom. Roasted. Pam, you failed art school. Boom. Roasted. Meredith, you've slept with so many guys you're starting to look like one. Boom. Roasted. Kevin, I can't decide between a fat joke and a dumb joke. Boom. Roasted. Creed, you're teeth called, your breath stinks. Boom. Roasted. Angela where's Angela? Whoa there you are, I didn't see you there behind that grain of rice. Boom. Roasted. Stanley, you crush your wife during sex and your heart sucks. Boom. Roasted. Oscar, you are... Oscar, you're gay.
Season 5 · Episode 13 · Line 27073
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Oscar
Wow.
Season 5 · Episode 13 · Line 27074
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Michael
Andy, Cornell called, they think you suck. And you're gayer than Oscar. Boom. Roasted. Alright. Alright everybody, you know I kid, you know I kid. You guys are the reason I went into the paper business, so, uh, goodnight, God bless, God bless America, and get home safe.
Season 5 · Episode 13 · Line 27075
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Michael
They say that laughter is the best medicine so Stanley, you can throw away those pills. You are cured. Actually, you should... better hold onto them pills, just in case.
Season 5 · Episode 13 · Line 27076