Every quote from The Office season 4, episode 6, in script order. First aired November 1, 2007.
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Michael
Oh my God, oh my God, that was very close.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19770
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Dwight
I can see the security guard's eyes.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19771
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Jim
No, no, don't do anything to them.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19772
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Dwight
I have to do something to his eyes.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19773
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Dwight
The eyes are the groin of the head.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19774
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Jim
Alright, Great Scott, if you found that choking hazard poster, just head on home.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19775
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Michael
We found something far better, their crown jewel. Their industrial copier.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19776
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Jim
Isn't that thing huge?
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19777
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Michael
It's enormous, but it's got wheels. We're wheeling it down the hall, into the stairwell. Get the car ready, keep the engine running.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19778
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Jim
No, that is a terrible idea, don't do this.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19779
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Michael
Aha!
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19780
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Dwight
My hip bone!
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19781
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Michael
We're wedged between the copier and the railing. Ah! Ow! Ow, my leg! Jim leave us.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19782
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Dwight
Don't leave us!
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19783
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Michael
Save yourself!
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19784
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Dwight
Don't leave us, help us, we need help Jim!
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19785
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Jim
Okay! First of all, stop using my name. And second of all-
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19786
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Michael
Dwight, you gotta move!
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19787
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Jim
Damn it guys!
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19788
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Michael
Dwight, could you move over a little bit.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19789
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Dwight
I'm losing control of my bladder.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19790
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Jim
Oh my God, oh my God, Karen is back!
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19791
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Dwight
Did you say Karen?
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19792
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Michael
Take her to a motel, make love to her Jim.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19793
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Jim
No, I'm not doing that.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19794
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Michael
Just say you wanna get back together.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19795
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Jim
No, I'm not doing that!
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19796
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Michael
It doesn't have to mean anything. Just, do it for Stanley. Come on Jim, just climb on top of her and think about Stanley. Ah, Jim, if this is it for me, promise me something, host the Dundies.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19797
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Karen
Jim?
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19798
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Jim
Hey Karen.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19799
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Karen
Uh, what are you doing here?
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19800
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Jim
First of all, hi.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19801
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Karen
What are you doing here?
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19802
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Jim
You good? I'm just checking on the other branches. Michael wants me to do that from time to time, so...
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19803
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Dwight
Do not tell Karen about the industrial copier.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19804
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Jim
Copy that.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19805
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Karen
I cried for weeks over that guy, so yeah, seeing him climb out of a PT Cruiser in a ladies warehouse uniform, felt pretty good.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19806
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Karen
Let me ask you, did you accomplish what you wanted?
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19807
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Dwight
Listen lady, you can expect these kind of repercussions as long as you keep trying to poach our people.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19808
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Karen
I'm taking Stanley.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19809
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Dwight
Then we will burn Utica to the ground.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19810
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Michael
Dwight. Granted, maybe this was not the best idea, but at least we care enough about our employees that we are willing to fight for them. And if you so much as harm a hair on Stanley's head, we will burn Utica to the ground.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19811
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Karen
Jim, hang on a second?
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19812
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Jim
Yes?
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19813
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Karen
So you're still doing this kind of stuff, huh?
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19814
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Jim
Yeah, trying to quit though.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19815
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Karen
If you wanted to see me, you could have just called me like an adult.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19816
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Jim
Oh no, I didn't want to see you. Not that I'm not happy seeing you, right now, I'm just saying ultimately I was here for the copier. Equal, I'd say it was equal. So, good to see you...
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19817
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Karen
[huffs]
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19818
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Jim
I mean, it's just that- You know, Pam and I are still dating, so, and, I just mean that things are going really well, so I didn't want to see... you...
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19819
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Karen
Oh, things are going really well? Are they? They are? That's great, that's so great. I wanna hear more about how happy you are with Pam. Can you tell me more about that? Thank you so much for coming to Utica, and breaking my copier, and telling me how well things are going in your relationship, really, thank you.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19820
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Jim
Alright, you are welcome. I'm going to go because of, um, traffic.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19821
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Karen
Traffic, yeah. Oh, def- go, go because of traffic, definitely, beat-beat the traffic, mm-hmm.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19822
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Jim
I... will...
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19823
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Michael
We tried and we failed. Stanley, you may go. Here is a box, for your things, but I doubt that that box will be able to contain all the memories that you have of this place. Fly away sweet little bird, fly away and be free. Pam, I'm gonna need some help writing a want ad.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19824
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Michael
Um, wanted: middle aged black man with sass. Big butt, bigger heart. I can't do this.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19825
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Stanley
Michael? A word?
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19826
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Michael
Of course.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19827
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Stanley
I changed my mind, I wanna keep this job.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19828
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Michael
Really?
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19829
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Stanley
I wasn't really planning on leaving, all I wanted was a raise. How on Earth did Michael call my bluff? Is he some sort of secret genius? Sometimes I say crazy things.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19830
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Jim
Hey.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19831
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Pam
I'm so sorry, Rolando told me everything. How humiliating. Would it help you to return to another age? A time of refinement, and civility.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19832
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Jim
Are you inviting me to the Finer Things Club?
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19833
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Pam
[nods head yes]
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19834
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Andy
Oh-oh, come on!
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19835
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Jim
Angela's Ashes, top o' the morning to us. Frankie's prose is funnier than a pot of gold, say I.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19836
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Oscar
Okay, did you get it out of your system.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19837
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Jim
Yep. No, I mean I really liked it. I thought was uh, a fun read.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19838
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Toby
Fun?
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19839
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Jim
Mm-hmm.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19840
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Toby
Really?
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19841
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Jim
Yeah.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19842
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Toby
What was fun about it for you? Was it the death of the twins?
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19843
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Jim
No, that wasn't fun.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19844
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Toby
Did you even read it?
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19845
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Jim
Of course I read it.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19846
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Oscar
How does it end?
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19847
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Toby
Who was the main character?
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19848
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Jim
Angela. Nope. The ashes.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19849
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Pam
[mouths 'I'm sorry' to Oscar]
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19850
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Andy
And let me just add, that as a member of The Finer Things Club, I would bring a strong financial contribution to any discretionary funds that we may have. Finally, here is a recommendation from former U.S. Senator Rick Santorum.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19851
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Oscar
Okay, that's enough, uh. Thanks, Andy.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19852
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Andy
Mmmhmm.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19853
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Toby
He's gonna ruin everything.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19854
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Pam
Oh, my God. His letter of recommendation from Rick Santorum is three fifty-dollar bills.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19855
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Oscar
Wow. Now we can afford hard-cover books.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19856
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Toby
I like it just us three. I don't want it to change.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19857
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Toby
I love The Finer Things Club. My ex-wife used to have a book club, and I would read their book and sometimes listen from the kitchen.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19858
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Angela
The Finer Things Club was not sanctioned by the Party Planning Committee. Renegade clubs are dangerous. I squashed the Weight Loss Buddy Support Group. They didn't need to gather. It was just gross.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19859
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Meredith
I don't know why I'm not in The Finer Arts Club. It's bullcrap. You clean it up.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19860
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Andy
Dear Andrew Bernard, after carefully examining your application to The Finer Things Club, we are unable to offer you a position at this place and time. We would, however, like to place you on a list in case an opportunity arises when your inclusion can be tolerated. Your position as an ongoing financial patron, however, is yours to cherish. Sincerely, The Finer Things Club. Yeees! I got waitlisted.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19861
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Andy
I got into Cornell off the Wait List. A lot of people were like, 'Oh, you just got into Cornell because your dad donated a building.' No. Okay. I got into Cornell because I'm smart. I'm smart enough to have a dad who donates buildings to things.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19862
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Michael
Utica is snoozeville, um, Albany are the prepsters, Nashua, no parking, um, Akron is haunted, Camden... is in a basement, Yonkers has the two hot girls, and here in Scranton, we are the cool guys.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19863
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Michael
Woo! Shotgun!
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19864
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Jim
Well, you're driving, right?
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19865
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Michael
Yes, I am, but I want shotgun for you.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19866
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Jim
Mmm... I'd prefer to sit in back.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19867
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Dwight
Wait! I wanted to sit next to you.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19868
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Michael
No, Dwight! Dwight, Jim is sitting next to me. You're gonna sit in the back left where I don't have to see your ugly moongob.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19869