"Branch Wars" Quotes (page 2)

Every line from The Office season 4, episode 6, in script order. First aired November 1, 2007.

324 quotes · page 2 of 4

  1. Dwight

    He's lying.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19670

  2. Michael

    Yep, get it.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19671

  3. Jim

    What are you doing? Stop it, Dwight!

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19672

  4. Dwight

    Gah-ah-hah-ha!

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19673

  5. Jim

    Are you kidding me?

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19674

  6. Dwight

    No communication with the outside world Jim.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19675

  7. Michael

    It had to be done, it had to be done.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19676

  8. Jim

    Well, that kind of sucks, because it had all the photos of my brother's new baby on it, so...

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19677

  9. Dwight

    Oh no, that is too bad. Shoot.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19678

  10. Jim

    Okay.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19679

  11. Michael

    Hey Dwight, he found it.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19680

  12. Jim

    You know what? I'm just going to call a cab from here.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19681

  13. Michael

    Alright, you're going to miss the best prank ever.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19682

  14. Jim

    Alright. Wait, what are you planning on doing?

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19683

  15. Michael

    Do you really wanna know?

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19684

  16. Jim

    Oh, God.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19685

  17. Michael

    Follow me, come here. Here's what we brought, we brought uniforms from the warehouse. I brought silly string, Dwight brought gasoline and chunks of rubber to make stink bombs.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19686

  18. Dwight

    Or real bombs.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19687

  19. Michael

    No, no, not real bombs.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19688

  20. Dwight

    Yeah, come on, it will be so badass.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19689

  21. Michael

    Uh, maybe, maybe, I don't know.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19690

  22. Jim

    No.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19691

  23. Michael

    It could be badass. Yeah, it will.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19692

  24. Jim

    No, no absolutely we are not doing this.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19693

  25. Dwight

    Come on, I already filled the bottles with the gas, it's going to be so badass.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19694

  26. Jim

    Are you kidding me? We've been driving around with this stuff in the trunk the whole time?

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19695

  27. Michael

    Teach her to offer Stanley more money.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19696

  28. Jim

    So the deal was, Dwight doesn't blow anything up, and I wear a costume. And a moustache.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19697

  29. Michael

    So, why did you and Karen break up? Was it the sex?

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19698

  30. Jim

    What?

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19699

  31. Michael

    I can't imagine the sex being bad, I mean her body is...

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19700

  32. Jim

    Okay, you know what?

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19701

  33. Michael

    ...awesome.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19702

  34. Jim

    Why don't we play that alphabet game that you were talking about?

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19703

  35. Michael

    Okay, I will start. Um, 'A.' 'A' my name is Alan, and my wife's name is Alice, we live in Alaska, and we sell... Damn it! What do we sell? Um...

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19704

  36. Jim

    It doesn't matter.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19705

  37. Michael

    I'm trying to think of what we could sell.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19706

  38. Jim

    Doesn't matter.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19707

  39. Michael

    Ah, la, la, la. What is that? That sound... The air-conditioning leaking or something?

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19708

  40. Jim

    That doesn't make sense, couldn't be.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19709

  41. Michael

    What is that? Dwight, are you peeing?

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19710

  42. Dwight

    I'm peeing in this empty can.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19711

  43. Jim

    Oh my God!

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19712

  44. Michael

    Come on man, that is disgusting Dwight!

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19713

  45. Dwight

    Well you said that we couldn't make anymore stops, and I really had to go.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19714

  46. Jim

    Michael, watch the road!

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19715

  47. Dwight

    Hey, you're making me spray!

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19716

  48. Michael

    I'll kill you man!

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19717

  49. Jim

    Michael! Michael, pull over!

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19718

  50. Michael

    That is just so disgusting!

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19719

  51. Jim

    Pull over, pull over!

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19720

  52. Dwight

    I think I cut my penis on the lid!

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19721

  53. Oscar

    Can you imagine a life where all you have to do is summer in the Italian countryside?

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19722

  54. Toby

    I know right? I just want to go, and look at art, and swim in the Adriatic.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19723

  55. Pam

    And spend time with George Emerson. That's what I would do. I mean it's the best male protagonist we've read, right?

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19724

  56. Andy

    Totally, I mean, come on, such a free spirit.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19725

  57. Oscar

    What are you doing?

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19726

  58. Andy

    Just came to discuss my favorite E.M. Forester novel. Pam, these finger sandwiches look finger-lickin' delicious Pam.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19727

  59. Pam

    Uh, I'm sorry Andy, but this is a closed club.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19728

  60. Andy

    The Finer Things Club is the most exclusive club in this office. Naturally, it's where I need to be. The party planning committee is my back up, and Kevin's band is my safety.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19729

  61. Andy

    Fine. I'll just sit here, in the common area, and read my book. Which just happens to be the very same book you're reading.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19730

  62. Toby

    Alright, just know that you're not in the Finer Things Club.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19731

  63. Andy

    Why can't I be in the club?

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19732

  64. Jim

    I can't believe we're here, I can't believe this is happening.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19733

  65. Dwight

    Believe it.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19734

  66. Michael

    Afro wig, do you want the afro wig?

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19735

  67. Jim

    No, Michael. I'm not leaving the car.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19736

  68. Michael

    Yeah, Dwight, here's how it's going to go down. You and I-

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19737

  69. Jim

    Guy's going by. Shh.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19738

  70. Michael

    You and I are going to sneak inside and pretend that we are warehouse workers. And then we will silly string the beejeezus out of the place.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19739

  71. Dwight

    And if we have to defend ourselves, I will stab the security guy in the eye with the jumbo chalk.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19740

  72. Jim

    No, no, you won't do that. Nope.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19741

  73. Dwight

    Then I'll grind up the jumbo chalk and blow it in his eyes.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19742

  74. Jim

    Dwight, nothing with the eyes, please?

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19743

  75. Dwight

    Okay, Jim.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19744

  76. Jim

    Oh my God, that's her! That's her, go, go, go.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19745

  77. Dwight

    Let's move! Move, move, move, move!

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19746

  78. Jim

    Shut up, you, shut up! This is the dumbest thing we've ever done.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19747

  79. Pam

    I think it's interesting how Forster uses Italy to represent sexuality and passion. And that also brought up themes of, uh, you know, fate and coincidence. And Lucy's torn between these two things. She's torn between passion and convention.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19748

  80. Kevin

    Damn it!

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19749

  81. Pam

    It just- To be making a case for passion in Edwardian times, I thought was, uh...

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19750

  82. Oscar

    Yes.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19751

  83. Kevin

    Damn it!

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19752

  84. Pam

    Maybe sort of ahead of his time as a writer.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19753

  85. Oscar

    Very brave.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19754

  86. Pam

    Very brave choice also, I thought.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19755

  87. Oscar

    And George, his- his youthfulness. His, um, freedom. Evokes, um, um, feeling, um, to the, um... What are you microwaving!?

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19756

  88. Phyllis

    Popcorn.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19757

  89. Pam

    Why don't you use the microwave in the kitchen, Phyllis?

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19758

  90. Phyllis

    Someone needs to clean it. It smells like popcorn.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19759

  91. Andy

    So, Stanley, are you really outta here?

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19760

  92. Stanley

    Yep, looks that way.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19761

  93. Andy

    I'm gonna miss you man, you've been like an uncle to me. Like a kind old uncle Remus. I wanna stay in touch.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19762

  94. Michael

    We are in a stairwell.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19763

  95. Dwight

    We are climbing some stairs.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19764

  96. Dwight

    I'm breathing heavily.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19765

  97. Jim

    Okay, you know what? You don't need to be updating me as much as you're updating me.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19766

  98. Dwight

    Well...

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19767

  99. Michael

    There's a guy, there's a guy.

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19768

  100. Dwight

    There's a security guard coming by. Hello, we're warehouse workers. Would you like more proof?

    Season 4 · Episode 6 · Line 19769