Every quote from The Office season 4, episode 6, in script order. First aired November 1, 2007.
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Rolando
Dunder Mifflin, this is Rolando. Oh yes, she's been expecting your call.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19570
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Karen
Yeah.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19571
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Rolando
Karen? He's on line one.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19572
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Karen
Thanks Ro. Hey, we finally connected. How's Scranton?
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19573
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Karen
I am the regional manager of Dunder-Mifflin Utica branch. Turns out it's a pretty easy gig when your boss isn't an idiot and your boyfriend's not in love with somebody else.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19574
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Karen
Look, All I'm saying is it would be a great opportunity, and we'd love to have you come aboard. So think about it, okay? Okay, bye.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19575
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Karen
Look, for the record, a certain Scranton salesman approached me, okay?
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19576
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Michael
This is perfect.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19577
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Dwight
He looks like your twin.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19578
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Michael
This is a dummy, a la Ferris Bueller's Day Off. We have tied a string to the wrist, which goes to the door. When somebody opens the door, the hand goes down, hits the remote, turns on the tape recorder, which is me snoring. Now nobody knows whether I am here, or whether I am gone.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19579
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Dwight
I will know.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19580
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Michael
But, you will not tell anyone.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19581
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Dwight
I won't need to because we'll be together playing hooky. Yeah.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19582
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Michael
Well, sometimes. Most of the time I will be with Ryan, or Darryl. Yes? Oh good, good Stanley! First victim, this is what I want you to do. Go out, come back in. We're going to hide. I want you to tell me if this looks like me, okay?
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19583
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Stanley
I don't understand why sleeping at your desk is better than you not being here.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19584
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Michael
Just go out, and come back in.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19585
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Stanley
I got an offer from Utica for more money, and I'm going to take it.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19586
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Michael
What?
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19587
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Michael
Hey everyone, can I have your attention please? I just thought you all should know that Stanley Hudson is planning on leaving us, because our old friend Karen from Utica is going to give him more money to work there.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19588
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All
[applause]
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19589
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Michael
No, no, no, no, no-no, no no. You completely misinterpreted my tone, this is a horrible thing. Clearly, Karen is trying to get back at us because Jim dumped her.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19590
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Jim
Oh, I don't think that is what's happening.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19591
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Michael
Okay, smarty pants, then why? Why is she trying to take Stanley from us?
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19592
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Stanley
I think it's because of my sales record.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19593
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Michael
That could not possibly be it.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19594
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Michael
You cannot take the hilarious black guy from the office. Stanley is part of what makes this branch so extraordinary. The bluesy wisdom, the sassy remarks, the crossword puzzles, the smile, those big watery red eyes. I don't know how George Bush did it when Colin Powell left, and if Utica thinks that they are going to poach Stanley, they have another thing coming.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19595
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Michael
How can I get you to stay?
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19596
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Stanley
Money.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19597
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Michael
Yeah we all want money. But there is none in the budget, so... Tell me why you're really leaving.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19598
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Stanley
Money.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19599
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Michael
Mo money mo problems, Stanley. You of all people should know that. Let me ask you this, if I were-
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19600
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Stanley
Money.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19601
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Michael
Pssh, kay.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19602
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Pam
Oscar, did you bring it?
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19603
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Oscar
To be Edwardian. His best work.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19604
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Pam
Okay, well I have the tablecloth, don't forget the flatware.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19605
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Oscar
Sure thing Pam, can't wait.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19606
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Pam
Oscar, Toby, and I are founding members of the Finer Things Club. We meet once a month to discuss books and art, celebrate culture in a very civilized way. Sometimes the debate can get heated, but we're always respectful. There is no paper, no plastic, and no work talk allowed. It's very exclusive.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19607
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Oscar
Besides having sex with men, I would say that the Finer Things Club is the gayest thing about me.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19608
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Jim
So tell me again why I can't be part of your club?
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19609
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Pam
Because some people think you monopolize the conversation by trying to be funny.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19610
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Jim
Oscar?
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19611
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Pam
Some people.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19612
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Karen
Hello?
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19613
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Michael
Fillipellers, how's it hanging?
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19614
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Karen
Michael...
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19615
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Michael
To the left?
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19616
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Karen
Listen, I-
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19617
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Michael
To the right?
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19618
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Karen
I'm-
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19619
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Michael
Okay, enough small talk, go ahead.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19620
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Karen
You called me.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19621
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Michael
Yes, listen, um... You cannot tear Stanley from his family like this.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19622
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Karen
I'm pretty sure his family's coming with him.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19623
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Michael
No, his work family. Look, this is very hard for me, but I'm going to give you my best man. You may have Toby.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19624
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Karen
Toby's not a salesperson.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19625
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Michael
You can train him. He's very very smart, and funny, and charming... You know, I can't do it, Toby is the worst. That- that was a bluff, um... Listen, if you are going to poach one of my guys, I'm going to poach one of yours.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19626
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Karen
Oooh. Good-bye Michael.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19627
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Michael
Okay, good-bye. Wait! Wait! Karen, could you transfer me to one of your salespeople please? Your best one?
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19628
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Pam
I have Ben Nugent on the line, he is the top salesman in Utica.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19629
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Michael
Hi Ben, Michael Scott.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19630
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Ben
Hi Michael.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19631
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Michael
I'm going to cut right to the chase here. Do you like magic? Because I'm a genie in a bottle, and I'm going to grant you three wishes. To move to Scranton, to have a great job, and to be my best friend.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19632
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Ben
Aren't you the guy that hit the woman with your car?
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19633
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Pam
[giggles]
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19634
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Michael
Get out. Uh, yeah. I also saved her life, but I guess that's not as grabby.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19635
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Ben
Everyone says Scranton branch is worse than Camden. Didn't everyone from Stanford quit, like immediately?
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19636
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Michael
No, I fired them, and your next. ... So what do you say?
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19637
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Ben
Seriously?
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19638
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Michael
What is that guy talking about? Scranton is not lame. Scranton is the cool, fun branch. We're like Animal House.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19639
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Dwight
Found him!
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19640
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Michael
Jim, we're getting crapped on. Word is that our branch sucks, and we have to do something about it.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19641
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Jim
So what are you going to do?
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19642
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Michael
What are we going to do? We are going to make a monster sale, that's what we're going to do. Corcroan dropped Staples.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19643
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Jim
Did they?
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19644
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Michael
Yes they did, oh yes they did, and we are going to murder it. You, me, Dwight are going to jump into my PT Cruiser, and we're going to crush this sale. We're going to prove, what the hell is that music?
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19645
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Pam
It's Vivaldi, for Finer Things.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19646
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Michael
That's the problem, that's the problem. We need rock n' roll Pam, rock n' roll. Alright? Oh... My... God, that's why people are leaving. I- I have no words.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19647
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Jim
We just passed the exit for Corcroan.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19648
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Michael
What? What? We did?
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19649
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Dwight and Michael
Surprise! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19650
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Michael
Look at his face! Look at his face!
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19651
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Jim
What are we doing?
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19652
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Dwight
Egg dripping, blah, blah, blah.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19653
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Michael
What are we doing, Dwight, what we are doing?
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19654
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Dwight
Well, gee, Jim, I don't know, I guess there's no sales call today.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19655
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Michael
We are going on a panty raid to Utica, is what we're doing.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19656
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Jim
We're going to Utica?
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19657
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Michael
Uh-huh.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19658
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Jim
I'm not going to Utica right now.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19659
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Michael
Yes you are. Oh, buckle up Jim.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19660
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Jim
No.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19661
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Michael
We are going to make Karen wish that she had never been dumped by you.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19662
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Michael and Dwight
Utica! Utica! Utica!
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19663
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Michael and Dwight
Utica! Utica!
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19664
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Michael
In your face
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19665
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Dwight
Yow!
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19666
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Jim
I can't believe you guys. I'm not going to go further piss off my ex-girlfriend.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19667
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Michael
Are you calling Karen?
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19668
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Jim
No, I'm not calling Karen.
Season 4 · Episode 6 · Quote 19669