Every quote from The Office season 3, episode 23, in script order. First aired May 17, 2007.
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Pam
Yes.
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16928
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Jim
All right. Then... it's a date.
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16929
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Pam
I'm sorry, what was the question?
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16930
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David
So, I know we left the other day on a note of uncertainty. But, after some more thought, I'm very pleased to be able to offer you this job. Great! I'm so glad. We're all very excited you're going to be joining us. It'll be nice to have another MBA around here.
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16931
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Ryan
I'm excited too. Okay. Bye.
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16932
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Kelly
Who was that?
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16933
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Ryan
Nobody. You and I are done.
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16934
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Kelly
What?!
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16935
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David
Where do you see yourself in ten years?
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16936
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Michael
Well, I've actually done a lot of thinking about that. And in ten years, I am living in a big house, with my kids. And in this house we have screens on the walls that have famous art on them and I have a remote that works everything, that has like a belt-loop attachment, or in my ear, like a gluetooth. And, because it's the future, I can take just a little tiny pill and get all my vitamins for the whole day.
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16937
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David
A... multivitamin?
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16938
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Michael
Well, I don't know what it's gonna be called, but... my point is, the future of this company is now. And the future... is me.
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16939
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Phyllis
Michael, what happened?
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16940
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Michael
Jan got fired. And I realized that I could not work for a company that would fire my girlfriend. But more than that, I realized that... I couldn't take a job that would take me away from this place. This is where I belong. This is... my home. And home is where the hardest.
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16941
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Oscar
Home is where the
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16942
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Michael
Heart is. That makes a lot more sense. You think they'd help each other out like that at corporate? I think not!
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16943
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Kelly
Well, if Michael gets the job, I will be so upset, because Dwight used to have a crush on me, so if he's boss, it'll be really awkward.
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16944
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Pam
Mmm-hmm.
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16945
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Kelly
But if Jim gets it, you should be happy, because you have a crush on him, and he totally doesn't feel the same way, and then he'll be gone.
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16946
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Pam
Yeah, well, you know, whatever happens. Oh.
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16947
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Kelly
Pam, he's just not that into you.
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16948
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Pam
Oh, I know. We talked about it and he told me.
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16949
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Kelly
No, seriously Pam, wake up.
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16950
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Pam
Okay.
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16951
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Pam
Kelly made me realize something. She and I have... nothing in common. And I need more friends.
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16952
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Dwight
Define scorched earth policy.
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16953
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Andy
When an attacker goes through another country sometimes they wi...
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16954
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Dwight
Nyah ah! Too long! What is the Dharma Initiative?
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16955
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Andy
It is the source of all energy on this planet.
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16956
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Dwight
Wrong. It is a corporation formed by aliens.
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16957
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Andy
I'm a very good interviewee. Why? Because I have something that nobody else has. And that is... my brain. Which makes me charming, witty, intelligent... and quick on my feet.
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16958
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Dwight
Who was the second man on the moon?
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16959
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Andy
Trick question. There was no second man on the moon.
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16960
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Dwight
Inventor of the cotton gin.
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16961
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Andy
Eli Edison.
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16962
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Dwight
Talk me through an appendectomy.
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16963
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Andy
Step 1, disinfection. Step 2, incision. Step 3, remove the appendix tenderly so it doesn't burst and spread toxic...icity everywhere.
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16964
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Dwight
Step 5, ...the wound.
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16965
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Andy
Re-suture. Sutures, yes.
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16966
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Dwight
When is the Paleolithic Age?
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16967
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Andy
17 B.C.
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16968
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Dwight
What is a scented candle?
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16969
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Dwight
How is the new boss? Tough. Do people respect him? They have to. Do they like him? Irrelevant. They do not. And I hate them back.
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16970
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Michael
New York real estate. I started by looking for a brownstone, like the Huxtables had, but instead I found this very, very, nice place in Jamaica, Queens, mon. It is on the last stop of the subway, which is wonderful, because if I fall asleep, I still end up at home. It is a suh-weeeet one bedroom. I have a roommate, uh, Vijay Chokalingham, he's a sophomore at Queens College. He actually works in the Indian restaurant right below the apartment, so... free food, and the place always smells like curry. So, win/win.
Season 3 · Episode 23 · Quote 16971