Every line from The Office season 3, episode 10, in script order. First aired December 14, 2006.
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Dwight
Merry Christmas!
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12227
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Pam
Merry Christ--NO! Why... why did you bring that here?
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12228
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Dwight
Don't worry, she's dead. Oh wait. He's dead.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12229
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Pam
Dwight, what uh...
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12230
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Dwight
I accidentally ran over it. It's a Christmas miracle!
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12231
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Pam
Well, get it out of here.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12232
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Dwight
Relax, OK. And because this is Christmas, I am going to roast this goose and prepare it with a wild rice dressing. Do we have any cayenne pepper in the kitchen?
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12233
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Jim
Merry Christmas Dwight.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12234
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Dwight
Jim.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12235
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Jim
Wow. What have we got here?
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12236
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Dwight
What does it look like?
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12237
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Jim
Dead goose.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12238
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Dwight
And circle gets the square.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12239
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Jim
All right.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12240
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Dwight
So can you watch this? I'm gonna get my carving knife out of the trunk.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12241
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Toby
Oh, Dwight, we talked about this.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12242
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Dwight
No, Toby, this is different. He's already dead.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12243
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Dwight
Once I brought in a duck. To prepare for lunch. And people got upset. Apparently, they got attached to the duck and didn't want to see it killed.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12244
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Dwight
He was already dead. And we Schrutes use every part of the goose. The meat has a delicious, smoky, rich flavor. Plus you can use the molten goose grease and save it in the refrigerator, thus saving you a trip to the store for a can of expensive goose grease.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12245
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Jim
Wow. Win-Win.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12246
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Dwight
Exactly. Thank you, Jim.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12247
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Phyllis
I like goose. If it's already dead is it so crazy we eat it?
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12248
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Creed
That's crazy. It's crazy.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12249
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Toby
Dwight, you cannot keep that here.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12250
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Dwight
Ok, that is ridiculous. And totally against the spirit of Christmas.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12251
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Toby
Come on Dwight. We went over this, like for a half an hour.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12252
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Dwight
It's Christmas Toby.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12253
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Toby
It's a dead animal in an office. You can't...
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12254
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Dwight
Toby...
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12255
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Toby
I'm sorry.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12256
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Dwight
Please? Please?
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12257
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Toby
Clean it in your car.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12258
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Pam
I would like it off my desk.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12259
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Dwight
Oh Pam. Take a chill pill.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12260
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Michael
Deck the halls with boughs of holly. Fa la la la la la la la la. 'Tis the ... ack. Hey! I would like a nice slice of Christmas Pam. Side of candied Pams. And perhaps, some Pam-chops, with mint...
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12261
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Pam
Can I help you, Michael?
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12262
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Michael
I'm looking for the toy drive box.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12263
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Pam
It's behind you.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12264
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Michael
OK... Well, I need to put this bike in there. I hope it'll fit, with all these little knickknacks.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12265
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Jim
Wow. What kind of bike is that?
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12266
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Michael
Umm... I don't know? Average kind?
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12267
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Kevin
The tires look pretty worn.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12268
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Michael
Well, that is probably from the test drive.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12269
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Jim
But the paint's chipping. Is that your old bike, Michael?
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12270
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Michael
No.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12271
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Andy
Yo, Michael, sweet ride Mike.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12272
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Michael
Oh, thanks.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12273
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Pam
Michael?
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12274
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Michael
Yes? Oh Pam, that is so sweet. You didn't have to do that.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12275
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Pam
I didn't, it's from corporate.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12276
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Michael
OK. Did everybody get one of these?
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12277
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Pam
Yup.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12278
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Michael
Terrific. Good.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12279
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Michael
This is going to be the best Christmas ever. My girlfriend Carol is coming to our party tonight, and I have a little surprise for her. I've got two tickets to paradise! Pack your bags, we're leaving the day-after-tomorrow! Um, taking her to Sandals, Jamaica, all-inclusive. All-inclusive. You know what that means? Right? Yeah.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12280
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Jim
Oh, I think you're supposed to put a toy
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12281
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Creed
And a happy holiday to you.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12282
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Jim
Carol.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12283
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Carol
Hi, is Michael around here?
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12284
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Michael
There she is. A Christmas Carol. Hello You're about five hours early to the party. You're such a blonde.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12285
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Carol
Michael.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12286
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Michael
Hey, everybody. I don't know who you haven't met yet, but I think this is one of them. This is my girlfriend - Carol. This is just the front of her. Show 'em, show 'em the other side.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12287
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Carol
What?
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12288
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Michael
Turn around, turn around. Come on.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12289
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Carol
Get outta here.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12290
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Michael
No, you get outta here.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12291
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Andy
Michael
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12292
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Michael
Yes.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12293
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Andy
If I may say. She's even prettier that you described her.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12294
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Dwight
Oh, ouch. Michael, I don't think there is anything wrong with the way you described her.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12295
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Michael
Thank you.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12296
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Carol
I really need a moment alone with you.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12297
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Michael
Not as much as I need a moment alone with you. Berp.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12298
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Carol
What is this?
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12299
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Michael
That is my Christmas card. It's a picture of you and me and your kids on a ski trip, having a blast. Ski-sons Greetings.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12300
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Carol
No. See, we never went on a ski trip.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12301
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Michael
I know.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12302
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Carol
I went on a ski trip.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12303
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Michael
Right.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12304
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Carol
Two years ago with my kids and my ex-husband.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12305
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Michael
Yes, but what you didn't realize at the time was that I was with you in a sense. I was in your heart...
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12306
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Carol
Michael.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12307
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Michael
And next to your kids. What?
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12308
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Carol
This is so weird.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12309
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Michael
I don't understand?
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12310
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Jim
It's a bold move, to Photoshop yourself into a picture with your girlfriend and her kids on a ski trip with their real father. But then again, Michael's a bold guy. Is bold the right word?
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12311
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Carol
I think you're a really sweet guy.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12312
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Michael
OK
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12313
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Carol
But, um, I don't know how to deal with, with this thing. And, and the proposal. And I don't think things are going to work out with us.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12314
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Michael
No, no no no Ok, OK, You know what, you're not thinking straight. You know what you need? You need to think this through in Jamaica's largest fresh water pool.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12315
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Carol
What are you talking about?
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12316
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Michael
I got us tickets to Sandals, Jamaica, We leave day after tomorrow.. You better find the skimpiest bikini there is.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12317
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Carol
Oh, no. Michael.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12318
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Michael
And it's all inclusive.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12319
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Carol
Michael...
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12320
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Michael
Yes.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12321
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Carol
I'm sorry.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12322
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Michael
No, Carol. You walk out that door and it is over.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12323
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Carol
I know.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12324
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Pam
Psst. Jim. Um, hey. I need to give you your Christmas gift now because, well, I'll just tell you.
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12325
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Jim
What?
Season 3 · Episode 10 · Line 12326