Every quote from The Office season 2, episode 8, in script order. First aired November 15, 2005.
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Michael
I just don't understand why you have to pretend like nothing happened.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4697
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Jan
Because nothing did, Michael. It, I'm not going to say anything more about it, and I would advise that you do the same
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4698
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Michael
Look-
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4699
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Dwight
Michael?
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4700
-
Michael
Oh my God...
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4701
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Dwight
I'm sorry, am I interrupting? Oh God; were you guys making out?
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4702
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Jan
No, Dwight; come in.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4703
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Dwight
Great.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4704
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Michael
What do you want Dwight?
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4705
-
Dwight
I am ready for my performance review.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4706
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Michael
Ok, great. Your performance has been adequate. You may leave; goodbye.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4707
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Jan
Is this how you've been conducting all the reviews, Michael?
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4708
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Michael
You wanna talk now, good; OK, Dwight, leave.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4709
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Dwight
Uh, wait, I would like to discuss my raise?
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4710
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Michael
Why on earth would we give you a raise?
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4711
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Dwight
That is an excellent question. Thank you for asking. Let me bring up one word: dedication. I have never been late. Also, I have never missed a day due to illness. Even when I had walking pneumonia. I even come in on holidays.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4712
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Michael
You do? How do you get in?
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4713
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Dwight
I have a copy of your key.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4714
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Jan
That's a serious offense!
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4715
-
Michael
That is a serious offense. Very serious. As is toying with a man's heart.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4716
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Jan
Oh! Michael, for God sakes!
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4717
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Dwight
I'd also further like to talk about my merits in the workplace.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4718
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Michael
Ok, third wheel, why don't you do that?
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4719
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Dwight
For instance, the time I brought in deer jerky for the whole office.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4720
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Michael
That was deer!? Gross, oh!
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4721
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Dwight
You liked it!
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4722
-
Michael
Oh, did not!
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4723
-
Dwight
Jan, have you ever had deer?
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4724
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Jan
No.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4725
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Dwight
It's a delicacy. And you know what? It's an aphrodisiac. So when we're done here, you guys could go over to The Antler Lodge, sample some deer and talk about my raise.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4726
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Michael
What do you say, Jan?
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4727
-
Jan
Ok! Here's what I'm gonna do: I'm gonna step outside, collect my thoughts, and I will return in about ten minutes.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4728
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Michael
Ok. You just, uh, clear your head.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4729
-
Jan
Thank you, Dwight.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4730
-
Jan
Look, I know it's your job, I know you have to ask, but I promise you, I'm not gonna discuss it with him, I'm certainly not gonna discuss it with you. Do you have a light?
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4731
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Dwight
And in conclusion, I think that Lex Luthor said it best when he said 'Dad, you have no idea what I'm capable of'.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4732
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Michael
That's from Superman?
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4733
-
Dwight
Smallville. And that is why, I feel, that I deserve this raise.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4734
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Pam
Do you think Michael and Jan actually...
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4735
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Jim
I don't really wanna picture it. But thank you, Pam.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4736
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Pam
How do you come back from that?
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4737
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Jim
Um, you don't, I don't think, come all the way back, you know. Especially working together.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4738
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Pam
No, I mean doing that with Michael. How do you come back from that?
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4739
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Jim
Oh-
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4740
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Pam
As a human being.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4741
-
Jim
Yeah, no, I don't think you can.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4742
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Jan
I'm heading back to New York; Alan and I will conduct your performance review over the phone tomorrow.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4743
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Michael
Wait.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4744
-
Jan
K?
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4745
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Michael
Wait, wait, wait, come, I just, I just wanna know why?
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4746
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Jan
Michael, now is not the time or the place.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4747
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Michael
Ok, so you're saying that there is a different time or place?
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4748
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Jan
No, I am saying we are never having this conversation.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4749
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Michael
Well, ok, well never as in 'never ever ever', or never as in there's still a chance?
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4750
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Jan
Never, for me, always means 'never ever ever.'
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4751
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Michael
I just want to know, from the horse's mouth, what is the dealio?
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4752
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Jan
Michael, it has nothing-
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4753
-
Michael
Am I too short?
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4754
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Jan
With your looks, ok? It's your personality. I mean, you're obnoxious, and rude, and, and, and stupid, and you do have coffee breath, by the way, and, and I don't agree about the b.o., but you are very, very inconsiderate.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4755
-
Michael
Really?
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4756
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Jan
Really. You're, you're, you're a great guy, ok?
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4757
-
Michael
I appreciate that, thank you.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4758
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Jan
And you were very sweet, and you stayed up with me and talked with me, cried with me, and I appreciate that-
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4759
-
Michael
No, I wasn't, I didn't cry-
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4760
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Jan
At this time in my life. I just am not in the place right now where I'm looking for a relationship, so we can still work together, we can still be friends but... ok?
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4761
-
Michael
So my looks have nothing to do with it?
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4762
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Jan
Ohhh, God.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4763
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Michael
Jan is not in a place where she feels she can have a relationship right now. And it doesn't matter how great a guy I am. And that is all I needed; I'm good. I can go home now.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4764
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Michael
Hey, it's 12:20; where the hell's Dwight?
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4765
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Jim
Ummm... no idea.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4766
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Michael
Never missed a day, my ass.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4767
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Pam
Thank you.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4768
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Dwight
I'm here! I'm here! I'm here! It's ok!
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4769
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Michael
Oscar, I'm ready for you.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4770
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Oscar
Today is performance-review day, company-wide, and I'm a little concerned about my review. I exceeded my sick days and my personal days because I just couldn't take it. And I don't have a good answer for him, when he asks me.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4771
-
Michael
So...
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4772
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Oscar
Michael, I don't know what to say.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4773
-
Michael
Um, you're in accounting...
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4774
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Oscar
Yes, I'm in accounting and I'm sorry and all the extra days. I know I passed my limit.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4775
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Michael
So, good, good, good. Something to work toward, being here more. I'm a big believer in people being here more.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4776
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Oscar
Yes.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4777
-
Dwight
You know what this is?
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4778
-
Jim
Yes.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4779
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Dwight
No, you don't.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4780
-
Jim
Then why the question?
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4781
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Dwight
This is a visual aid for my performance review. Budget is tight, and if anyone is getting a raise, it is gonna be a fight to the death. And I intend on winning that fight. 'Dwight: determined, worker, intense, good worker, hard worker, terrific. Dwight.'
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4782
-
Jim
I have one, too. Jim. Jim, Is Jim. My name is Jim.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4783
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Dwight
That's a total waste of your 'M.'
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4784
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Jim
Really?
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4785
-
Dwight
Yeah.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4786
-
Jim
You have a better idea?
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4787
-
Dwight
Yeah, magnificent worker, marvelous worker, more money for this worker. Man, I like this worker. Mighty worker. That's good. That's good.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4788
-
Jim
I'll use that.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4789
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Jan
I am not going to discuss anything with you other than Dunder Mifflin business.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4790
-
Michael
All right.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4791
-
Jan
Period.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4792
-
Michael
Yup.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4793
-
Jan
Do we understand each other?
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4794
-
Michael
Absolutely.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4795
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Michael
I am not going to discuss anything outside of Dunder Mifflin business, period.' Okay. Now, why would Jan say she only wants to talk business and then make it clear that she is on her period? God, I don't understand women. How about a clear signal, right? Is that too much to ask?
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4796