"Performance Review" Quotes (page 2)

Every line from The Office season 2, episode 8, in script order. First aired November 15, 2005.

401 quotes · page 2 of 5

  1. Jim

    Hey, Dan, this is Jim, and it is about 11:15, and I wanted to know what you were up to tomorrow, which is the fifteenth, and that is a...

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4597

  2. Dwight

    Saturday.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4598

  3. Jim

    ...Saturday, so just let me know what you're doing tomorrow, Saturday, for lunch. Ok, talk to you soon.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4599

  4. Jan

    We'll address this in the meeting then. Ok. Ok, bye-bye. Could you please tell Michael that I'm here?

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4600

  5. Pam

    Sure.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4601

  6. Michael

    Hi, Jan. How are you?

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4602

  7. Jan

    I'm good; how are you?

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4603

  8. Michael

    Good to see you.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4604

  9. Jan

    Nice to see you.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4605

  10. Michael

    Ok. Ok, why don't we just step into my office? We're gonna go in here.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4606

  11. Jan

    Can we please go in your office?

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4607

  12. Michael

    Yep, right after you. Apres-vous. No calls.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4608

  13. Kevin

    Oooo.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4609

  14. Michael

    Alright.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4610

  15. Jan

    Thank you.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4611

  16. Michael

    It's nice to see you.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4612

  17. Jan

    Nice to see you too, Michael.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4613

  18. Michael

    Really?

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4614

  19. Jan

    Not like that.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4615

  20. Michael

    Oh, well.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4616

  21. Jan

    You know Michael, I think I need to make something clear right off the top. I'm not going to discuss anything with you other than Dunder-Mifflin business.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4617

  22. Michael

    Alright.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4618

  23. Jan

    Period.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4619

  24. Michael

    Yep.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4620

  25. Jan

    Do we understand each other.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4621

  26. Michael

    Absolutely.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4622

  27. Michael

    I'm a little confused. 'Cause first it's all like kissy-kissy. And then it's like all regret. Because 'Oh, I regret that.' But, 'Wait, I'm still gonna call you.' But, but, 'We're just gonna talk business. And I may come down and fire you if you don't do your job.' But what were talking about when we first kissed? Business.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4623

  28. Jan

    So are you still in the middle of the performance reviews then?

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4624

  29. Michael

    No, no, no, I finished all of that. I'm very fast. I'm not too fast. Not like wham-bam-thank ya ma'am. But I do say thank ya ma'am. But, I'm, I'm not like wham-bam. Not that there's anything wrong with wham-bam. If it's consensual. We're talking about office stuff. Can I ask you a question?

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4625

  30. Jan

    No.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4626

  31. Michael

    This is a business question. It's nothing personal, I promise.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4627

  32. Jan

    Fine.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4628

  33. Michael

    Are you wearing a new perfume today?

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4629

  34. Jan

    How is that a business question?

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4630

  35. Michael

    Well, you're wearing it at the office. And it, I'm sorry, but no offense, but it's really sexy.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4631

  36. Jan

    Please don't smell me, Michael.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4632

  37. Pam

    Hey, Jim.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4633

  38. Jim

    Hey, how's it goin'?

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4634

  39. Pam

    Oh my God, did you see 'The Apprentice' last night?

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4635

  40. Jim

    Course, it's on every Thursday night, so how could I miss it?

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4636

  41. Pam

    Can you believe who Trump fired?

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4637

  42. Jim

    No, that was unbelievable.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4638

  43. Dwight

    Who? Who was it? Who did he fire?

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4639

  44. Pam

    You didn't see it?

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4640

  45. Dwight

    No, I went out and got drunk with my laser tag team last night. Crap! I never go out on a Thursday night; what the hell was I thinking?

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4641

  46. Michael

    I don't understand- Hold on. Sorry. Yes, Pam.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4642

  47. Pam

    Michael, it's time for the suggestion box meeting.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4643

  48. Michael

    I'm kind of in the middle of something. I wish you wouldn't interrupt.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4644

  49. Pam

    You told me to buzz you about the suggestion box meeting when Jan was here.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4645

  50. Michael

    I did not, not, not use those words.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4646

  51. Jan

    Uh, I'd like to sit in on that meeting is it happening right now?

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4647

  52. Michael

    No, it's in like ten minutes.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4648

  53. Pam

    Everyone's waiting in the conference room.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4649

  54. Jan

    Great. Very good.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4650

  55. Michael

    Why are we here? Because I value your opinions. Now, I know a lot of don't think that I read your suggestions, but I do. I just sift through them every week and I really look and scrutinize to see what you guys are writing. Um, so, let's, uh, just read some of these suckers. Alright. Number one: 'What should we do to prepare for Y2K?'

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4651

  56. Dwight

    What should we do to prepare for Y2K?

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4652

  57. Kelly

    I thought you read these every week.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4653

  58. Michael

    Well, obviously this one got stuck in the box. That happens occasionally.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4654

  59. Dwight

    It happens occasionally.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4655

  60. Michael

    And, um, one down. Next suggestion: 'we need better outreach for employees fighting depression'. Ok, alright, enough with the jokes. Nobody in here is suffering from depression.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4656

  61. Jan

    That sounds serious, Michael.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4657

  62. Michael

    Oh, ok, well, yeah, who wrote it?

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4658

  63. Dwight

    Tom?

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4659

  64. Michael

    Tom. Then it is a joke because there is nobody in here named Tom.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4660

  65. Phyllis

    Tom? He worked in accounting up until about a year ago. Tom? Pow.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4661

  66. Michael

    Oh, that guy? That guy was weird. Alright, next suggestion.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4662

  67. Dwight

    Next suggestion.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4663

  68. Michael

    Arrr, dooby dooby do. 'You need to do something about your B.O.'

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4664

  69. Dwight

    You need to do something about your B.O.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4665

  70. Michael

    Ok, I don't know who this suggestion is meant for, but it's more of a personal suggestion and it's not an office suggestion. Far be it for me to use this as a platform to embarrass anybody.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4666

  71. Toby

    Aren't the suggestions meant for you?

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4667

  72. Michael

    Well, Toby, if by me you are inferring that I have B.O., then I would say that is a very poor choice of words.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4668

  73. Creed

    Uh, Michael, he wasn't inferring, he was implying. You were inferring.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4669

  74. Michael

    Was I, Creed?! Ok, well, you know what? I am implying is that when we're on an elevator together, I should maybe take the stairs, because talk about stank. Not that I would ever say something like that in public, and I never have, and I never will. I just think it's something that we should all be aware of. Ok? Now that we've learned this, let's continue. See, this is good, we're learning and we're figuring some stuff out. 'You need to do something about your coffee breath'-

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4670

  75. Dwight

    You need-

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4671

  76. Michael

    Ok.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4672

  77. Dwight

    To do something about-

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4673

  78. Michael

    Shut up, shut up, shut up, Dwight, OK. I don't think you people are grasping the concept of the suggestion box.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4674

  79. Angela

    Sometimes you talk to us real close.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4675

  80. Michael

    Yeah, is that hard for you? Alright, well-

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4676

  81. Angela

    Well, when you have coffee breath-

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4677

  82. Michael

    I'll work on that-

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4678

  83. Angela

    It's hard.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4679

  84. Michael

    Let's keep going. Keep it going. Yep. What do we have here? We have somebody's piece of gum. Somebody put a piece of gum in there. This is not a, a garbage can, this is the future of our company. This is not a place for gum. I don't wanna have to read these tomorrow.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4680

  85. Dwight

    Yeah, who wants to come in on a Saturday?

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4681

  86. Michael

    Yeah, what? Uh, alright, next suggestion.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4682

  87. Dwight

    Next suggestion.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4683

  88. Michael

    Don't sl-', ok, that's blank Don't, just put it-

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4684

  89. Dwight

    Don't sleep with your boss'? Do you think this is referring to you boning Jan?

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4685

  90. Jan

    I can't, I can't-

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4686

  91. Michael

    I don't understand why you're so upset.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4687

  92. Jan

    Please sit down.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4688

  93. Michael

    Let me ask you-

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4689

  94. Jan

    You're gonna sit here and I'm gonna go sit over there.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4690

  95. Michael

    Ok, let me ask you this.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4691

  96. Jan

    Please, sit yourself down.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4692

  97. Michael

    Let me ask you something.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4693

  98. Jan

    What, Michael.

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4694

  99. Michael

    Where did you get your outfit?

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4695

  100. Dwight

    You are giving me this raise! I deserve this raise! Yes! Yes! Yes! Hiya! The least you can do is keep my salary consistent with inflation! Keeya eyah! Yes! Why are you gonna give me this raise? Why? Because... I'm awesome! I am awesome!

    Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4696