Every quote from The Office season 2, episode 8, in script order. First aired November 15, 2005.
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Dwight
You should get one of these.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4497
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Jim
No. Thank you.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4498
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Dwight
Do you even know what this is? It is a fitness orb and it has completely changed my life. Forget everything you thought you knew about ab workouts.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4499
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Jim
Done.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4500
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Dwight
This ab workout is specifically designed to strengthen your core. Sorry.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4501
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Jim
S'ok.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4502
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Dwight
Numerous health benefits, strengthens your back, better performance in sports, more enjoyable sex.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4503
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Jim
You're not having sex.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4504
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Dwight
Plus, improves your reflexes see, I would have caught that.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4505
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Jim
Ok, you know what, uh, how much is that?
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4506
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Dwight
It's only twenty-five bucks.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4507
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Jim
Wow. Um, ok.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4508
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Michael
Pam, could I see you in my office?
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4509
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Pam
It's performance review day, company-wide. Last year, my performance review started with Michael asking me what my hopes and dreams were, and it ended with him telling me he could bench-press 190 pounds. So, I don't really know what to expect.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4510
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Michael
Pam, you're trustworthy-
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4511
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Pam
Thank you.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4512
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Michael
And a woman-
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4513
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Pam
Oh, no.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4514
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Michael
And I want you to listen to a voicemail from my boss. 'Michael, it's Jan. I guess I missed you. I'll, uh, be there this afternoon for performance reviews. I hope it's understood that that will be our only topic of discussion. See you soon.' First impressions?
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4515
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Pam
Uh, just off the top... I think she'll be here this afternoon.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4516
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Michael
My boss is coming in today, the lovely Jan Levinson-Gould will, well, no Gould. The Gould has been swack, divorced. Um, the awkward part is that this will be the first time that we'll be seeing each other since, well, uh, it was really nothing. We just sort of got caught up in the moment. The vulnerable divorcee gives herself to the understanding, with rugged good-looks, office manager. Just, uh, she didn't want it to continue for some reason. It, we both, I didn't want it, we both didn't want it to continue. Was not professional. Um, when people say something's mutual, it never is. But this was mutual.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4517
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Michael
'I guess I missed you.' I guess I missed you. So, she misses me?
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4518
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Pam
She missed you.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4519
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Michael
But then she goes on to say 'that will be our only topic of discussion'. That doesn't mean anything, those are just words.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4520
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Pam
I have one idea of what it means.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4521
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Michael
Ok. Yeah, what, what?
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4522
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Pam
Well I don't think you're gonna be very happy with this.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4523
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Michael
Ohhh, great. Well, now I'm in a terrible mood. Let's do your performance review-
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4524
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Pam
Because she's conflicted. She has to be professional, but she's fighting feelings... for you.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4525
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Michael
Ah, why, that's great news? That, that, then why would, why would I not like that?
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4526
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Pam
Um, just cause, that, you work together, and it might be awkward.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4527
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Michael
Oh, wow, wow. Alright, let's listen to that again. 'Michael, it's Jan. I guess I missed you'.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4528
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Dwight
Oh, hey, listen, Jim. Here's a little tip for your performance review.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4529
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Jim
Ok.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4530
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Dwight
Tell Michael that we should be stocking more of the double-tabbed manila file folders.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4531
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Jim
We don't have double-tabbed manila file folders.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4532
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Dwight
Oh, yes, we do.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4533
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Jim
No, we don't.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4534
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Dwight
Yeah, it's a new product. So, you should just suggest that to him and he'll be sure to give you a raise.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4535
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Jim
Alright... well, I'm not asking for a raise. I'm gonna actually be asking for a pay decrease.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4536
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Dwight
Uh, that is so stupid. What if he gives it to you?
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4537
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Jim
I win.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4538
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Dwight
Ugh, you know what? I am going to zone you out for the rest of today. I need to stay focused, and I don't have to see you tomorrow or Sunday and please don't call me, and we'll see how things go on Monday. Uh, stupid.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4539
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Jim
Wait, wait; one thing. Uh, by tomorrow, you mean Saturday, right?
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4540
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Dwight
Uh, duh.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4541
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Jim
Duh.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4542
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Jim
Today is Thursday. But Dwight thinks that it's Friday. And that's what I'll be working on this afternoon.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4543
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Stanley
Sometimes women say more in their pauses than they say in their words.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4544
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Michael
Really?
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4545
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Stanley
Oh, yes. Let's listen to it again. And this time, really listen to the pauses.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4546
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Michael
God, Stanley, that's frickin' brilliant. How do you know that? Did you learn that on the streets? Sorry.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4547
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Stanley
Oh, no, that's ok. I did learn it on the streets. On the ghetto, in fact.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4548
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Michael
No kidding.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4549
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Stanley
It's all about my bonus.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4550
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Pam
Michael and Jan definitely made out.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4551
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Jim
Ohh...
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4552
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Pam
Maybe more.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4553
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Jim
Eck!... Oh! Also, it is Thursday, but Dwight thinks it's Friday. So, keep that goin'.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4554
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Pam
Oh, yea!
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4555
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Michael
Good work, Stanley. Great performance review. Stanley in the house, everybody. Woo! Angela, your turn.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4556
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Angela
I actually look forward to performance reviews. I did the youth beauty pageant circuit. And I enjoyed that quite a bit. I really enjoy being judged. I believe I hold up very well to even severe scrutiny.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4557
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Pam
Michael?
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4558
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Michael
Yeah?
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4559
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Pam
Jan's on the phone for you.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4560
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Michael
Oh; Angela, you were totally satisfactory this year.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4561
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Michael
Interesting. Jan is calling me. Maybe it wasn't so mutual after all. Yeah?
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4562
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Jan
Michael.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4563
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Michael
Jan! To what do I owe this pleasure?
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4564
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Jan
I am returning your many calls.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4565
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Michael
Well, hello to you, too. Um, yeah, I was just um, I just wanted to get some closure on uh, what transpired between us at the meeting we had in the parking lot of the Chili's.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4566
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Jan
No. No, we won't be discussing that, Michael. The only things I wanna talk about during your performance review are your concrete ideas to improve your branch.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4567
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Michael
Well, surely this uh, review is a formality because of what happened uh, at our meeting in the parking lot of Chili's.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4568
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Jan
Uh, your review is anything but a formality, Michael.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4569
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Michael
Oh.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4570
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Jan
I expect you to forget anything that you think may have happened between us and exhibit completely professional behavior.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4571
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Michael
Been thinking about you.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4572
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Jan
Ok, that is an example of completely unprofessional behavior.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4573
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Michael
Um, I don't see how that's unprofessional. Just-
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4574
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Jan
Michael.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4575
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Michael
Yep.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4576
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Jan
Are the cameras with you...
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4577
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Michael
No.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4578
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Jan
...in your office?
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4579
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Michael
They are not. Yes, they are. That's my girlfriend.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4580
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Kevin
I heard they made out and had sex.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4581
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Oscar
No, they just made out. That's it.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4582
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Kevin
Well, I heard they made out
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4583
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Angela
Don't talk about it. Office romances are nobody's business but the people involved.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4584
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Kevin
Romances?
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4585
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Michael
Pam, I have ideas on a daily basis. I know I do. I have a clear memory of telling people my ideas. Um, is there any chance you wrote any of my ideas down? In a folder? A 'Michael-idea' folder?
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4586
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Pam
Sorry.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4587
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Michael
That's unfortunate. How 'bout the suggestion box? There's tons of ideas in there.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4588
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Pam
What suggestion box?
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4589
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Michael
The suggestion box that I put out, and people could be put in suggestions anonymously? Maybe there's prizes?
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4590
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Pam
Oh, yeah. Uh, I think I remember that from back from when I first started.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4591
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Michael
Why don't you find it and tell people to get theirs... never mind, I'll tell them. Hello, everybody? Yeah, uh, attention, please. Jan Levinson's coming, very soon, and so, we're going to have our weekly suggestion box meeting, so you can all get your constructive compliments in a.s.a.p.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4592
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Ryan
Don't you mean constructive criticism?
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4593
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Michael
What did I say?
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4594
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Kelly
You said 'constructive complements'; that doesn't make any sense.
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4595
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Michael
Well, Kelly, that was neither constructive nor a compliment, so maybe you should stop criticizing my English and start making some suggestions. 'K?
Season 2 · Episode 8 · Quote 4596