Dwight

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4497

Jim

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4498

Dwight

Do you even know what this is? It is a fitness orb and it has completely changed my life. Forget everything you thought you knew about ab workouts.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4499

Jim

Done.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4500

Dwight

This ab workout is specifically designed to strengthen your core. Sorry.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4501

Jim

S'ok.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4502

Dwight

Numerous health benefits, strengthens your back, better performance in sports, more enjoyable sex.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4503

Jim

You're not having sex.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4504

Dwight

Plus, improves your reflexes see, I would have caught that.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4505

Jim

Ok, you know what, uh, how much is that?

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4506

Dwight

It's only twenty-five bucks.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4507

Jim

Wow. Um, ok.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4508

Michael

Pam, could I see you in my office?

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4509

Pam

It's performance review day, company-wide. Last year, my performance review started with Michael asking me what my hopes and dreams were, and it ended with him telling me he could bench-press 190 pounds. So, I don't really know what to expect.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4510

Michael

Pam, you're trustworthy-

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4511

Pam

Thank you.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4512

Michael

And a woman-

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4513

Pam

Oh, no.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4514

Michael

And I want you to listen to a voicemail from my boss. 'Michael, it's Jan. I guess I missed you. I'll, uh, be there this afternoon for performance reviews. I hope it's understood that that will be our only topic of discussion. See you soon.' First impressions?

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4515

Pam

Uh, just off the top... I think she'll be here this afternoon.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4516

Michael

My boss is coming in today, the lovely Jan Levinson-Gould will, well, no Gould. The Gould has been swack, divorced. Um, the awkward part is that this will be the first time that we'll be seeing each other since, well, uh, it was really nothing. We just sort of got caught up in the moment. The vulnerable divorcee gives herself to the understanding, with rugged good-looks, office manager. Just, uh, she didn't want it to continue for some reason. It, we both, I didn't want it, we both didn't want it to continue. Was not professional. Um, when people say something's mutual, it never is. But this was mutual.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4517

Michael

'I guess I missed you.' I guess I missed you. So, she misses me?

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4518

Pam

She missed you.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4519

Michael

But then she goes on to say 'that will be our only topic of discussion'. That doesn't mean anything, those are just words.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4520

Pam

I have one idea of what it means.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4521

Michael

Ok. Yeah, what, what?

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4522

Pam

Well I don't think you're gonna be very happy with this.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4523

Michael

Ohhh, great. Well, now I'm in a terrible mood. Let's do your performance review-

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4524

Pam

Because she's conflicted. She has to be professional, but she's fighting feelings... for you.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4525

Michael

Ah, why, that's great news? That, that, then why would, why would I not like that?

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4526

Pam

Um, just cause, that, you work together, and it might be awkward.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4527

Michael

Oh, wow, wow. Alright, let's listen to that again. 'Michael, it's Jan. I guess I missed you'.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4528

Dwight

Oh, hey, listen, Jim. Here's a little tip for your performance review.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4529

Jim

Ok.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4530

Dwight

Tell Michael that we should be stocking more of the double-tabbed manila file folders.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4531

Jim

We don't have double-tabbed manila file folders.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4532

Dwight

Oh, yes, we do.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4533

Jim

No, we don't.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4534

Dwight

Yeah, it's a new product. So, you should just suggest that to him and he'll be sure to give you a raise.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4535

Jim

Alright... well, I'm not asking for a raise. I'm gonna actually be asking for a pay decrease.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4536

Dwight

Uh, that is so stupid. What if he gives it to you?

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4537

Jim

I win.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4538

Dwight

Ugh, you know what? I am going to zone you out for the rest of today. I need to stay focused, and I don't have to see you tomorrow or Sunday and please don't call me, and we'll see how things go on Monday. Uh, stupid.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4539

Jim

Wait, wait; one thing. Uh, by tomorrow, you mean Saturday, right?

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4540

Dwight

Uh, duh.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4541

Jim

Duh.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4542

Jim

Today is Thursday. But Dwight thinks that it's Friday. And that's what I'll be working on this afternoon.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4543

Stanley

Sometimes women say more in their pauses than they say in their words.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4544

Michael

Really?

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4545

Stanley

Oh, yes. Let's listen to it again. And this time, really listen to the pauses.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4546

Michael

God, Stanley, that's frickin' brilliant. How do you know that? Did you learn that on the streets? Sorry.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4547

Stanley

Oh, no, that's ok. I did learn it on the streets. On the ghetto, in fact.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4548

Michael

No kidding.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4549

Stanley

It's all about my bonus.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4550

Pam

Michael and Jan definitely made out.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4551

Jim

Ohh...

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4552

Pam

Maybe more.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4553

Jim

Eck!... Oh! Also, it is Thursday, but Dwight thinks it's Friday. So, keep that goin'.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4554

Pam

Oh, yea!

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4555

Michael

Good work, Stanley. Great performance review. Stanley in the house, everybody. Woo! Angela, your turn.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4556

Angela

I actually look forward to performance reviews. I did the youth beauty pageant circuit. And I enjoyed that quite a bit. I really enjoy being judged. I believe I hold up very well to even severe scrutiny.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4557

Pam

Michael?

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4558

Michael

Yeah?

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4559

Pam

Jan's on the phone for you.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4560

Michael

Oh; Angela, you were totally satisfactory this year.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4561

Michael

Interesting. Jan is calling me. Maybe it wasn't so mutual after all. Yeah?

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4562

Jan

Michael.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4563

Michael

Jan! To what do I owe this pleasure?

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4564

Jan

I am returning your many calls.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4565

Michael

Well, hello to you, too. Um, yeah, I was just um, I just wanted to get some closure on uh, what transpired between us at the meeting we had in the parking lot of the Chili's.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4566

Jan

No. No, we won't be discussing that, Michael. The only things I wanna talk about during your performance review are your concrete ideas to improve your branch.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4567

Michael

Well, surely this uh, review is a formality because of what happened uh, at our meeting in the parking lot of Chili's.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4568

Jan

Uh, your review is anything but a formality, Michael.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4569

Michael

Oh.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4570

Jan

I expect you to forget anything that you think may have happened between us and exhibit completely professional behavior.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4571

Michael

Been thinking about you.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4572

Jan

Ok, that is an example of completely unprofessional behavior.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4573

Michael

Um, I don't see how that's unprofessional. Just-

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4574

Jan

Michael.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4575

Michael

Yep.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4576

Jan

Are the cameras with you...

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4577

Michael

No.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4578

Jan

...in your office?

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4579

Michael

They are not. Yes, they are. That's my girlfriend.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4580

Kevin

I heard they made out and had sex.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4581

Oscar

No, they just made out. That's it.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4582

Kevin

Well, I heard they made out

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4583

Angela

Don't talk about it. Office romances are nobody's business but the people involved.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4584

Kevin

Romances?

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4585

Michael

Pam, I have ideas on a daily basis. I know I do. I have a clear memory of telling people my ideas. Um, is there any chance you wrote any of my ideas down? In a folder? A 'Michael-idea' folder?

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4586

Pam

Sorry.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4587

Michael

That's unfortunate. How 'bout the suggestion box? There's tons of ideas in there.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4588

Pam

What suggestion box?

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4589

Michael

The suggestion box that I put out, and people could be put in suggestions anonymously? Maybe there's prizes?

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4590

Pam

Oh, yeah. Uh, I think I remember that from back from when I first started.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4591

Michael

Why don't you find it and tell people to get theirs... never mind, I'll tell them. Hello, everybody? Yeah, uh, attention, please. Jan Levinson's coming, very soon, and so, we're going to have our weekly suggestion box meeting, so you can all get your constructive compliments in a.s.a.p.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4592

Ryan

Don't you mean constructive criticism?

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4593

Michael

What did I say?

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4594

Kelly

You said 'constructive complements'; that doesn't make any sense.

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4595

Michael

Well, Kelly, that was neither constructive nor a compliment, so maybe you should stop criticizing my English and start making some suggestions. 'K?

Season 2 · Episode 8 · Line 4596

"Performance Review" Quotes