Every line from The Office season 2, episode 4, in script order. First aired October 11, 2005.
-
Pam
Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam. Sure, can I ask who's calling? Just a second.
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3122
-
Jim
Jim Halpert. What? How did you get this number? Stalker.
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3123
-
Pam
Katy and Jim met in the office. And now I guess they're like going out, or dating, or something. And, uh... I don't know! You know? They're just... She calls him, and they... You know, I'm sorry. I feel like I'm talking really loud. Am I talking really loud?
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3124
-
Jim
So we're still on for lunch? You're meeting me here? Okay. Great. Bye.
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3125
-
Pam
Hey! You can just give her your extension.
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3126
-
Jim
Okay.
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3127
-
Michael
Howard, slash Ryan, Ryan Howard is sitting in my office. And he has been a temp here for a couple of months and he's kind of gotten the lay of the land a little bit. Had a few laughs along the way. And now he wants to know what I think.
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3128
-
Ryan
The temp agency wants to know what you think.
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3129
-
Michael
Shall we? Let us proceed. First up, proficiency in necessary skills. Aaaaeeexcellent!
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3130
-
Dwight
Michael's in there right now evaluating the temp. He hasn't evaluated me in years.
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3131
-
Michael
Five years from now, what do you want to do? Where do you want to be?
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3132
-
Ryan
Ah, well, I'm interested in business.
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3133
-
Michael
Oh! Good. Ambitious. Excellent. Want to be a manager?
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3134
-
Ryan
Uh, no, actually, uh, what I want is to own my own company.
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3135
-
Michael
That is ridiculous.
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3136
-
Michael
Ryan's about to attend the Michael Scott School of Business. I'm like Mr. Miyagi and Yoda rolled into one.
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3137
-
Michael
Much advice you seek. Do you know who that is?
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3138
-
Ryan
Fozzie bear?
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3139
-
Michael
Mmm... No. That was Yoda.
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3140
-
Michael
There are ten rules of business that you need to learn. Number one: You need to play to win. But... you also have to win to play.
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3141
-
Ryan
Got it.
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3142
-
Michael
And I will give you the rest of the ten at lunch.
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3143
-
Michael
Hey!
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3144
-
Dwight
Michael and I have a very special connection. He's like Batman, I'm like Robin. He's like the Lone Ranger, and I'm like Tonto. And it's not like there was the Lone Ranger, and Tonto, and Bonto.
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3145
-
Oscar
But it says no late fee... .
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3146
-
Dwight
People!
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3147
-
Angela
Okay! Everybody!
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3148
-
Dwight
This is not a test! Move to the exits!
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3149
-
Angela
Do not panic!
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3150
-
Dwight
Head towards the exits.
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3151
-
Angela
Safety partners.
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3152
-
Dwight
Get up off your desks!
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3153
-
Angela
Do not panic.
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3154
-
Oscar
No, I don't hear it? Alright.
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3155
-
Dwight
No, panic is warranted!
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3156
-
Angela
Go in single file lines.
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3157
-
Oscar
No, no. Finish the...
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3158
-
Dwight
This is not at drill!
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3159
-
Angela
Arms at your sides! Arms at your sides!
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3160
-
Dwight
Please, move quickly! This is a paper company, people! Step lively!
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3161
-
Angela
Go, let's go.
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3162
-
Dwight
This whole place is a tinder box, it is ready to blow!
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3163
-
Dwight
This is not a test! Can you leave?!
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3164
-
Phyllis
Oh, you say that every time.
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3165
-
Dwight
DO YOU WANT TO DIE?
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3166
-
Phyllis
Oh, boy...
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3167
-
Dwight
Do you want to die? OUT!!
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3168
-
Angela
Alright, let's go, let's go.
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3169
-
Dwight
STANLEY! Have you ever seen a burn victim?
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3170
-
Angela
Come on, you're safety partners!
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3171
-
Dwight
Move to the exits!
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3172
-
Angela
You're safety partners!
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3173
-
Dwight
We've got smoke! We've got smoke! Smoke! Gah! Oh, Kelly! You're okay! I've got you!
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3174
-
Kelly
I'm okay!
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3175
-
Dwight
Cover your nose and mouth. Breathe through your nose.
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3176
-
Kelly
Let go of me!
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3177
-
Dwight
Breathe through your nose. Remove your stockings. Okay? They'll melt right into your flesh! Stay below the smoke line. Let's go! Clear out, stat! STAT MEANS NOW!
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3178
-
Michael
Yes, I was the first one out. And, yes, I've heard women and children first. But, we do not employ children. We are not a sweat shop. Thankfully. And, uh, women are equal in the workplace by law. So, I let them out first, I have a lawsuit on my hands.
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3179
-
Michael
Another rule of business is being able to adapt to different situations.
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3180
-
Ryan
Yeah.
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3181
-
Michael
Adapt. React. Re-adapt. Act. All right? That's rule number two.
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3182
-
Dwight
Okay, guys, listen up, we need a head count. We need to count off. Michael's number one. Where is he? Where is he?
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3183
-
Michael
So what was rule two?
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3184
-
Ryan
Ah... adapt, react, re-adapt, act.
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3185
-
Michael
Okay, well, let's... . let's kind of take it a little slower.
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3186
-
Dwight
Hey, Michael. Um... Ryan needs his number for the count off.
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3187
-
Michael
Okay, uh, well, one is taken.
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3188
-
Ryan
Uh, okay, two?
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3189
-
Dwight
NO!
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3190
-
Ryan
Okay... uh, sorry?
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3191
-
Dwight
Okay, he can have 14. Marjory's not here today.
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3192
-
Michael
Well, he needs a permanent number, right?
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3193
-
Ryan
No.
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3194
-
Ryan
...I don't.
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3195
-
Dwight
Oh, you know what else? I thought of a nickname for the three of us. Three Musketeers.
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3196
-
Michael
Um, yeah. Okay. That... No, no, no. I got one. I got one. The Three Stooges.
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3197
-
Dwight
That's funny, too. But if we're the Three Musketeers...
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3198
-
Ryan
I don't want to be like 'a guy' here. You know? Like, Stanley is the 'crossword puzzle guy'. And Angela has cats. I don't want to have a thing... here. You know, I don't want to be the 'something guy'.
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3199
-
Jim
Okay, you know what? I am going to be, uh, setting the agenda here. Okay? Can everybody gather up, please? Important announcement. Very important announcement. I think this is a perfect opportunity for all of us to participate in some really intense, psychologically revealing conversations. So we're going to be playing Desert Island, umm, Who Would You Do?
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3200
-
Stanley
Ooh.
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3201
-
Jim
And, um...
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3202
-
Pam
...Would You Rather?
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3203
-
Jim
Would You Rather. Would You Rather is our third game.
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3204
-
Dwight
Hey guys, great response time. Listen up, I got some theories. Okay, there's a...
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3205
-
Jim
Okay, so... three books on a desert island? Angela.
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3206
-
Angela
The Bible.
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3207
-
Stanley
That's one book. You've got two others.
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3208
-
Angela
A Purpose Driven Life.
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3209
-
Jim
Nice. Third book?
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3210
-
Angela
No.
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3211
-
Jim
Okay. Phyllis.
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3212
-
Phyllis
Um, The DaVinci Code.
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3213
-
Angela
The DaVinci Code!
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3214
-
Jim
Nice.
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3215
-
Angela
I would take The DaVinci Code... so I could burn The DaVinci Code.
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3216
-
Dwight
Okay. Great, that's going to keep you warm for like 7 seconds. Question: is there fire wood on the island?
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3217
-
Jim
I guess.
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3218
-
Dwight
Then I would bring an axe, no books.
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3219
-
Jim
Uh, it has to be a book, Dwight.
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3220
-
Dwight
Fine. Physician's Desk Reference.
Season 2 · Episode 4 · Line 3221