Every line from The Office season 2, episode 3, in script order. First aired October 4, 2005.
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Michael
What the hell is a terrarium?
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2919
-
Dwight
It's a fish tank for snakes and lizards.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2920
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Michael
Oh, so an aquarium. Ah, that will not come into this place.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2921
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Dwight
Question. My grandparents left me a large number of armoires.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2922
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Pam
Are you sure you don't want to play?
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2923
-
Angela
I'm sure.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2924
-
Pam
Come on Angela, don't you have a game?
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2925
-
Angela
I have one, yes.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2926
-
Pam
Well, let's play, what is it?
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2927
-
Angela
I call it Pam Pong. I count how many times Jim gets up from his desk and goes to reception to talk to you.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2928
-
Pam
We're friends.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2929
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Angela
Apparently.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2930
-
Jim
Very nicely done. I think that's H-O-R for Stanley, and H-O for Phyllis.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2931
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Phyllis
Are you calling me a ho?
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2932
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Jim
Oh my god. Phyllis, coming alive. I like it.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2933
-
Dwight
Question. What about carpooling, who pays for the gas?
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2934
-
Michael
We take separate cars.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2935
-
Dwight
Question. Can sometimes I drive your car and you drive mine?
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2936
-
Michael
Why would we do that?
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2937
-
Dwight
Just for fun?
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2938
-
Michael
No.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2939
-
Dwight
Question. Who is the primary on the fire insurance?
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2940
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Michael
EHHHHNT. Game over. Offer revoked. Dwight. I'm sorry, but you reach out and you try to be a nice guy, and help out a friend, and this is what happens. This is what I get. Oh god. I'm ... Ok.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2941
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Dwight
Thank god. It was nice of him to offer, but I live in a nine bedroom farm house. I have my own crossbow range. It's a perfect situation for me. Although two bathrooms would have been nice, we just have the one. And it's under the porch.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2942
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Oscar
Ah...
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2943
-
Everyone
OH!
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2944
-
Jim
Who had someone from Vance Refrigeration?
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2945
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Ryan
I did.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2946
-
Jim
Ryan Howard. Ryan! Gold medal.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2947
-
Pam
I made something for our closing ceremonies.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2948
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Jim
What? Oh my god. Where did you have time to make that?
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2949
-
Pam
Automatic voicemail.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2950
-
Jim
Alright Pam, alright. Nice work!
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2951
-
Pam
[sees Angela making check mark on tally sheet]
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2952
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Stanley
A little bit more and I would have had it.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2953
-
Dwight
You know you can always refinance your mortgage. We had a 15 year on our beet farm. We paid it off early.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2954
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Michael
Yeah, well, you know what? Nobody cares about your stupid beet farm. Beets are the worst.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2955
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Dwight
People love beets.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2956
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Michael
Nobody likes beets.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2957
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Dwight
Everybody loves beets.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2958
-
Michael
Nobody likes beets, Dwight. Why don't you grow something that everybody does like? You should grow candy. I'd love a piece of candy right now. Not a beet.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2959
-
Dwight
Let's get this roof going.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2960
-
Michael
Stop it!
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2961
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Dwight
Ow.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2962
-
Jim
Final lap. Final lap. Time to beat is 1:15.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2963
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Stanley
Oscar!
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2964
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Crowd
Go! Go! Go!
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2965
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Jim
Time to beat is one minute, 15 seconds. Here they come. Guys?
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2966
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Dwight
What is going on?
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2967
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Jim
Nothing. Guys? Timer's still going? Er?
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2968
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Dwight
That's my stopwatch.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2969
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Jim
Here you go. All done.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2970
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Oscar
Great.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2971
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Jim
Yeah, I filled out the expense reports. That took about five minutes and then I closed two sales at lunch time. So, about as productive as any other day. If not more so.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2972
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Ryan
I figured I could throw it away now, or I could keep it for a couple of months and then throw it away. I mean, it was really nice of Pam to make them, but what am I going to do with a gold medal made of paper clips and an old yogurt lid?
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2973
-
Jim
Hey.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2974
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Pam
I have 59 voicemails.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2975
-
Jim
Mmm. Hey, can you ignore those and do something for me instead?
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2976
-
Pam
Sure.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2977
-
Jim
Okay, today. 5 o'clock. Closing Ceremonies.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2978
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Pam
Really?
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2979
-
Jim
Notify the athletes.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2980
-
Pam
Cool.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2981
-
Jim
Michael.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2982
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Michael
Yeah. Jim. Slim Jim. What's going... What's going on?
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2983
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Jim
Nothing. I just wanted to congratulate you on your condo.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2984
-
Michael
Oh. Thanks. Thanks. It's very cool. It's a three bedroom, gay-friendly.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2985
-
Jim
Nice.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2986
-
Michael
You know.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2987
-
Jim
Hey, would you mind coming out here for a second? I just have something for you.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2988
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Michael
Really?
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2989
-
Michael
What's this?
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2990
-
Jim
These are the Closing Ceremonies. Step up. You're on the top one. Congratulations to Michael, because he closed on his condo. So, gold medal.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2991
-
Michael
I don't really know what to say. Um, I'm not one for making speeches, but ah, my heart is very full at this moment.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2992
-
Jim
And for Dwight Schrute, the silver medal.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2993
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Michael
Get up here, Dwight.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2994
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Dwight
Silver medal.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2995
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Michael
Yep, not as good as gold. Why are you playing the national anthem?
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2996
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Jim
Um... 'Cause your condo's in America.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2997
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Michael
Oh. What the hell is that?
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2998
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Jim
Those are the doves.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2999
-
Pam
Hey. Morning.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 3000
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Jim
Oh, Pam? Can I see you in here for a second? It's important, so...
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 3001
-
Pam
Okay. What? What is this?
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 3002
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Jim
I found Dwight's wallet in the parking lot.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 3003
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Pam
Oh, my God. What are we gonna do?
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 3004
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Jim
I don't know. I don't know. I don't know what the best play is. Do we tear everything up, or do we buy a horse on the Internet? I mean, I don't know what to do. What do you think?
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 3005
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Pam
I know. I know what to do.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 3006
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Jim
Okay, what?
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 3007
-
Pam
Okay. Put everything back exactly how you found it.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 3008
-
Jim
Okay.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 3009
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Pam
Hey, Dwight. Jim and I found your wallet in the parking lot.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 3010
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Dwight
What did you do to it?
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 3011
-
Jim
Nothing.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 3012
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Dwight
I'm serious. What did you do to it?
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 3013
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Pam
Dwight, I swear, we didn't do anything.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 3014
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Dwight
Nice try. Cancel card. Cancel card. Cancel... card.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 3015
-
Oscar
I mean, you've got, you've got stuff here. You rented 'Mermaids.' You can't... It's a movie. You can't deduct that, you know that.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 3016
-
Kevin
All right.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 3017
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Angela
It's not an office expense.
Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 3018