"Office Olympics" Quotes

Name: Office Olympics
Released: 2005-10-04

Every line from The Office season 2, episode 3, in script order. First aired October 4, 2005.

403 quotes · page 1 of 5

Michael

I'm an early bird, and I'm a night owl. So I'm wise, and I have worms. Oh, breakfast.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2719
Ryan

I got your sausage, egg and cheese biscuit.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2720
Michael

Yummy, yummy. Thank you, Ryan.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2721
Ryan

What was the thing, ah, you needed me to come in early for?

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2722
Michael

Um. The sausage, egg, and cheese biscuit. But thank you. And why don't you take a couple hours. The office is yours. 'Home Alone,' 'Risky Business.' Take your pants off, run around. Whatever you gotta do.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2723
Ryan

I'm just going to take a nap in my car until work starts.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2724
Michael

Ok. Healthier. Gotta watch those carbs.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2725
Michael

Today, I, Michael Scott, am becoming a homeowner. Investing in real estate.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2726
Dwight

Diversifying. Smart.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2727
Michael

Yes it is. Yes it is. It is very important to own property. Back in olden days, they would not even let you vote unless you owned property and they'd throw you in the stocks and humiliate you.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2728
Dwight

And it worked. They should bring the stocks back. People'd obey the law, there'd be less troublemakers.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2729
Michael

Maybe.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2730
Jim

[looks bored. Taps finger on desk. Head falls to desk]

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2731
Pam

[laughs]

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2732
Pam

Every so often, Jim dies of boredom. I think today it was the expense reports that did him in. And our deal is that, it's up to me to revive him.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2733
Pam

You see Dwight's coffee mug?

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2734
Jim

Mm-hmm.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2735
Pam

Sometimes when he's not here, I try to throw stuff in it.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2736
Jim

No way. Let's do this Oh.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2737
Pam

Here.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2738
Jim

Wind.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2739
Pam

Try paperclips. Oh wait. This message. For Dwight.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2740
Jim

Perfect.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2741
Pam

Oh.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2742
Jim

Oh.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2743
Dwight

You should go.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2744
Michael

Yes. Yes. Final walkthrough.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2745
Dwight

Uh huh.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2746
Michael

Sign the papers at the condo.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2747
Dwight

You have your lawyer there?

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2748
Michael

Uh, I don't need one.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2749
Dwight

Can I be your representative?

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2750
Michael

I don't need a representative.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2751
Dwight

I think I should be there.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2752
Michael

No, No.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2753
Dwight

I'm good. I can make sure things are up to code.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2754
Michael

No. Dwight. I'm fine.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2755
Dwight

Please, I'm always the guy you rely on at work.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2756
Michael

Well, this isn't about work. This is closing on a condo, it's completely personal.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2757
Dwight

So you're taking a personal day?

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2758
Michael

Except that, this is about my living arrangement, and as boss, I need to have a living arrangement in order to do work.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2759
Dwight

Please, I'll make you proud.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2760
Michael

Ok. Fine. Yes, you can come.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2761
Dwight

Yes! As your representative?

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2762
Michael

As my associate.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2763
Dwight

Same thing.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2764
Michael

No it is not.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2765
Dwight

I have been Michael's #2 guy for about 5 years. And we make a great team. We're like one of those classic famous teams. He's like Mozart, and I'm like Mozart's friend. No. I'm like Butch Cassidy, and Michael is like Mozart. You try and hurt Mozart; you're going to get a bullet in your head courtesy of Butch Cassidy.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2766
Michael

Oh, most honorable Pamera. Not offensive, because that's the way they talk in movies.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2767
Pam

You headed out?

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2768
Michael

We are. Dwight and I are going to the big thing. So why don't you have everybody work on their expense reports and I'd like them in by the end of the day.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2769
Pam

Ok.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2770
Michael

Very good.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2771
Pam

Have a great time.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2772
Michael

We will. Um, did you do the thing I asked you to do about the magazines?

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2773
Pam

Yeah, I changed them to your new address.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2774
Michael

Good. The Small Business Man?

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2775
Pam

Yup.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2776
Michael

Maxim? American Way? Cracked?

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2777
Pam

Yes, I changed your Cracked magazine subscription.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2778
Michael

How about, uh, Fine Arts? Aficionado Monthly?

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2779
Pam

[shakes head]

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2780
Michael

NO, well can you get on that, because I don't just read Cracked. Thank you.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2781
Pam

Yeah.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2782
Michael

Ok. See you soon.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2783
Dwight

What kind of shocks you got on this baby?

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2784
Michael

I don't know, regular. Normal ones. Nothing fancy. Not my style. What are you doing?

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2785
Dwight

I want to put the top down.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2786
Michael

What? No, Dwight. It's fifty degrees outside. Don't... please...

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2787
Dwight

But then no one can see us.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2788
Michael

I... Just... Would you put it up? Ok. Fine. Just leave it down. Whiner.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2789
Dwight

Check it out. Terminator.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2790
Michael

I do not understand what you spend your money on.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2791
Kevin

Ooh.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2792
Jim

Hey, Oscar, on these new expense reports, do we really have to go back to last quarter?

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2793
Oscar

Yeah. It's a terrible system, I know.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2794
Jim

What does 2005 season mean?

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2795
Oscar

Eh.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2796
Jim

Wait a minute, what is this?

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2797
Oscar

It's a scoreboard.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2798
Jim

What?

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2799
Oscar

Kevin and I play this paper football game when Michael's out.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2800
Jim

Really?

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2801
Oscar

Yeah.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2802
Kevin

Or when we're bored.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2803
Jim

Oh my God! Wait, this goes back two years.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2804
Kevin

We're bored a lot.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2805
Jim

OH!

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2806
Kevin

Oh!

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2807
Oscar

Sweet!

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2808
Jim

Yes! So close. I really love the paper triangle flicking and hitting things game. Yeah.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2809
Kevin

We call it Hate Ball.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2810
Jim

Why?

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2811
Kevin

Because of how much Angela hates it.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2812
Jim

Hey, do you guys have any other games?

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2813
Kevin

Sometimes we play 'Who can put the most M&M's in their mouth?'

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2814
Angela

You

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2815
Oscar

You should ask Toby to teach you Dunderball.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2816
Michael

Home, sweet home.

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2817
Dwight

Which one's yours?

Season 2 · Episode 3 · Line 2818