Every line from The Office season 2, episode 22, in script order. First aired May 11, 2006.
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Michael
Shut it, shut it, shut it. Will Lady Fortune be your mistress? Only time will tell, my friends. Leave all your preconceived notions about casinos at the door. Old friends, new lovers, and the disabled! Welcome all! Great, okay. Shuffle up and deal. Let's get it started! Black-Eyed Crows.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9278
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Dealer
Okay, the game is No-Limit Texas Hold'em. Good luck, everybody. That's at least four red chips to you, sir.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9279
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Michael
All-in.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9280
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Michael
Bluffing is a key part of poker, which is too bad, because I'm not very good at bluffing. Did you believe me?
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9281
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Toby
I'll call.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9282
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Michael
What are... That's insane.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9283
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Toby
I have good cards.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9284
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Michael
Well, Toby, I went all-in on the first hand, so doesn't that tell you that I might have good cards, too? So don't be stupid. Just take it back.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9285
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Dealer
No, I'm sorry. He can't, sir. He's gone all-in.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9286
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Michael
Okay, all right, whatever.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9287
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Dealer
Flip them.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9288
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Michael
You really screwed that up.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9289
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Meredith
Wow.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9290
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Toby
I don't really play cards, but I'm not gonna lie to you. It felt really good to take money from Michael. Gonna chase that feeling.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9291
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Dwight
I expect to do very well tonight. I have an acute ability to read people. Jim, for instance, has a huge tell. When he gets a good hand, he coughs.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9292
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Jim
I will raise. Thanks.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9293
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Jim
It's the weirdest thing. Every time I cough, he folds.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9294
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Carol
Wow, bad luck.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9295
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Michael
Yeah, whatever. Hey, you know what? If luck weren't involved, I would always be winning. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9296
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Jan
Michael?
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9297
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Michael
Jan.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9298
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Jan
Hi.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9299
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Michael
Look, okay, I think we're all adults here, and it has always been my understanding that we have an open relationship.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9300
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Jan
What are you... Just... Wait, what're you talking about?
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9301
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Carol
What does that mean?
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9302
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Michael
After you said you weren't coming, I invited Carol to come and I don't think that I did anything wrong.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9303
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Jan
No. No, you didn't. Hi, I'm Jan. I'm Michael's boss.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9304
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Carol
Hi, hi.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9305
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Jan
Does anyone want a drink?
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9306
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Carol
No, I'm good.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9307
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Jan
Okay.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9308
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Michael
Um...
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9309
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Dwight
Hey, hey.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9310
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Michael
Hey. What...
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9311
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Dwight
Jan's here.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9312
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Dwight
Give me the dice.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9313
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Kevin
Come on, Dwight.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9314
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Dwight
Let's go.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9315
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Billy
It's all on you, baby. Let's go.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9316
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Angela
Good evening, Dwight. What is this?
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9317
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Dwight
Evening, Angela. This is craps. I need to roll an eight. If I do, everyone wins.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9318
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Kevin
Yes.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9319
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Angela
Then roll an eight.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9320
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Dwight
Thank you, Angela.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9321
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Angela
Good luck, Dwight.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9322
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Dwight
Yeah! Yeah!
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9323
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Kevin
Dwight, let's keep it going. Let's keep it going. Let's go.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9324
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Oscar
Let it ride. Let it all ride.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9325
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Dwight
Give me the dice!
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9326
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Jim
Yeah, right.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9327
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Pam
Yeah, right,' what?
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9328
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Jim
What was this?
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9329
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Pam
I have good cards.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9330
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Jim
Really?
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9331
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Pam
Mhmm, And I'm gonna take you all-in.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9332
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Jim
Wow. I think you're bluffing.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9333
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Kevin
Yeah, I think she's full of it.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9334
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Pam
Straight.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9335
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Jim
Oh. Three nines.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9336
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Kevin
Pam. Jim Halpert, ladies and gentlemen.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9337
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Jim
Thank you very much. It was fun.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9338
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Jan
Cosmopolitan, please.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9339
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Carol
Can I get a red wine? So, two hours? That's a long drive.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9340
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Jan
Well, it's part of the job, you know? Keep an eye on things. So... Why not? So, how long have you and Michael been...
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9341
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Carol
Oh, well, actually, I guess this would be our first date. I guess.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9342
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Jan
Casino Night in the warehouse. Good sport.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9343
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Carol
Well, I'm having a nice time.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9344
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Jan
Oh, me too. Me too.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9345
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Ryan
One beer and one Seven and Seven with eight maraschino cherries, sugar on the rim, blended if you can.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9346
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Jim
So, that's still going on, huh? You and Kelly?
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9347
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Michael
All right!
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9348
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Dealer
The point is four. Shooter, roll it. Four!
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9349
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Dwight
Come on, shooter!
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9350
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Michael
Four! Blow. Blow for luck! Yeah! Also, you. Not playing favorites. All right, here we go!
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9351
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Carol
All right.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9352
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Michael
Yeah!
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9353
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Dealer
Five.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9354
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Michael
So close. So close.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9355
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Dwight
Come on. So where you staying? Radisson?
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9356
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Jan
What?
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9357
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Dwight
Super 8?
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9358
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Jan
No, I...
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9359
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Dwight
Motel 6? Best Western?
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9360
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Jan
I didn't... I don't know...
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9361
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Dwight
Holiday Inn? The Hyatt in Wilkes-Barre? You staying with Michael?
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9362
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Kevin
I won the 2002 $2,500 No-Limit Deuce-to-Seven-Draw Tournament at the World Series of Poker in Vegas. So, yeah... I'm pretty good at poker.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9363
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Kevin
All-in.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9364
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Phyllis
Okay, let's do it.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9365
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Bob Vance
Good Luck, honey.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9366
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Phyllis
Oh, thank you, Bobby. But it doesn't matter, it's just fun to play.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9367
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Kevin
Three queens.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9368
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Dwight
Nice, very nice.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9369
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Phyllis
I have an ace.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9370
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Oscar
No, that's a flush.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9371
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Dwight
Oh, man!
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9372
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Phyllis
Oh, I have a flush!
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9373
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Bob
Yes!
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9374
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Phyllis
Look, I won! Look I have all the clovers! You wanna play again?
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9375
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Kevin
I suck.
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9376
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Roy
She took you down, huh?
Season 2 · Episode 22 · Line 9377